December 28, 2009

R.I.P. Harley; October 2005 to December 28 2009

Pat, mom, and I took Harley to the vet today. Like we thought, he was diagnosed with diabetes. We made a very tough decision after a few hours and decided it was best if we put him to sleep. It was the worst feeling in the world. I didn't want to leave him and it hurt so bad. I miss him so much. He was a really good and loyal dog and he will never be replaced. I hope he's in doggy heaven surrounded by raw-hides, looking down on us. Harley, you will never be missed and one day we will meet again.

bye harles.


December 22, 2009

Try and Try Again.

Update: I went to TDDS School of Allied Health for the STNA (State Tested Nurses Aide) program. It was about three weeks long and I really enjoyed it. My classmates were really nice and we had fun and clinicals we really not that bad! After you complete the course you take the state test. Our dates were for like three weeks after the class ended. Well, as you know, I got in an accident on the thirteenth of December. My scheduled state test was that week! The seventeenth! After talking to everyone, I decided not to cancel the test. I was feeling better and was able to move so I could still do the skills. The test is composed of a 70 question written test and then you have to perform 5 skills. Well I passed the written with a 95%. And I passed four skills 100%, perfectly, NO FLAWS. But I failed one, vest restraints! Now, I was having trouble. And I kept checking and re-checking my slip knots and the position on the strap where I tied it. I know for a fact I tied it to the non movable part of the bed and I watched the evaluator pull the knots and they came perfectly undone (which is all part of the critical step.) BUT I still failed. I think what happened was I thought where the strap came down and where I would tie it(right where it fell) was not the movable part so I tied them a little higher then the residents waist. Which would not be the correct part. I was really upset when I found out, but I had a feeling I wasn't going to pass. The accident happening five days before threw everything off, and I couldn't study by acting the skills out since I was in so much pain. Ugh... now I have to wait to find out when the next test dates are and pay for the skills portion again. Luckily my Mom said she would cover me. It just sucks because in this field you can't even use vest restraints unless it is absolutely ordered by a physician. So having it as one of the 25 skills sucks because I shouldn't know how to do it since its dangerous and wrong to put a resident in a restraint!

I'm going to go to the reviews though and try my hardest. I'm just afraid I'll be really nervous again and get hard skills. Besides vest restraint my other skills were handwashing(everyone has to do), denture care, weighing an ambulatory resident, and changing an occupied bed! Those are nice and easy! I might get PERI CARE, FEEDING, or even VITAL SIGNS next time! And you only have 35 minutes to do all five!

I am going to keep my head up though :) and practise, practice, practice!
♥ jessi.

December 14, 2009

its winter time again... ♥

I love winter. And I love the snow. But I don't love ice. And not knowing its going to be covering the roads completely! And not knowing that the salt trucks were not sent out before or during the rain!! Picture this. Walking outside, down the steps to the sidewalk and sliding the first footstep down! Then sliding all the way to the end of the driveway where your car is parked. Then getting in your car regardless of the situation you're in, because you HAVE to go to work. Call your boyfriend before you leave the driveway to tell him not to go ANYWHERE this morning because it looks like a sheet of ice is covering everything. Start you car, defrost the ice on the windshield. Leave the driveway, then the development, thinking "not all the roads are icy". Which they weren't! Didn't slide once until the bend. The next part happened fast and was very chaotic. After rounding the slight bend, I noticed my car starting to pull in the other lane, then it was all over. Back and forth for the next few seconds, the wildily being thrown across the road and back over and over. Next the car starts to spin, fast. I can't see anything, but the tree coming at me. I start to scream and suppose I gripped the steering wheel. Bounced off of the tree and I think out of reflex put my foot down. Which happened to land on the GAS PEDAL which in turn made the car slam into, DEAD ON, in ANOTHER TREE! A few seconds went by and I think I realized what happened, I started to cry and scream because I realized I was pinned in my seat. At this point I think my windown wasn't broken out... because I distinctly remember seeing it. But I don't know. I lost my phone and couldn't find my glasses. Minutes went by and I realized my door wouldn't budge. I couldn't grab my phone. All I wanted to do was to call for help. Finally I reached my phone and dialed 911. After this was HELL. In short, a half hour went by and I was trapped in the car, in pain. Two more wrecks occured, which in turn made the cop think one was my wreck and didn't see me. My manager who I called crying to say I got in an accident, got in one herself. They had to use the Jaws of Life to get me out, which are very scary. I was put into the ambulance which got stuck and almost wrecked itself! Another half hour went by as we waited for salt trucks or someone to help us. As were sitting there, the driver is saying to brace ourselves, a car is coming right for us. This happened twice. Then I could hear him say, "a car just took out a mailbox, that car just wrecked" etc etc. It was hell. And the ER is a whole different story. I'm thankful for my friends and my family and I am thankful I came out of it. My car is demolished and that's sad. I really liked that car.

No one asked me if my life flashed before my eyes. Something did... I can't say exactly what it was, but I remember thinking about something... or more importantly someone. I'm not sure.

Another weird thing, Pat asked me before I walked out, not to go to work that morning. And of course I said no, I have to work. Amd he asked me one more time, "don't go to work today".

December 6, 2009

Sundays are not fun days.

its been a while since I've posted, just been really busy. got a new phone and contract. So far no problems with Sprint. I got the HTC Hero, its sweet! I also completed the STNA(state tested nurses aide) course at TDDS School of Allied Health. I got my certificate and I take the state test on December 17th. I'm a little nervous. But I'm going to try my hardest and study. I'm back at work too, that's fun... yea...

moving on...

I don't know what to get Pat for Christmas. I don't really know what to get anyone, actually. and I don't have too much money, which sucks! I know what I want for Christmas, but I can't bring myself to say it and I know I shouldn't be asking... but it is what I want and I can't help thinking it. I know its not going to happen but its worth a dream, right? :c I know you probably don't understand what I'm talking about... its ok though.

I'm using this new app in my phone so I guess we'll see if this posts.
♥ jes

October 23, 2009

More priceless quotes by Pat

ME "I said... 'more to come'." ...
PAT "on your mouth!"


PAT "it's 42 inches, it's 42 inches!!"

October 13, 2009


Halloween's coming! :) One of my favorite holidays. This weekend were going to Fear Forest, I think its a hayride and a haunted house. After Wendy's having a bonfire, which I know will be a lot of fun. I want to have a scary movie night, but Pat never wants to :( I wish we had a Halloween party to go to, I want to dress up so bad! One of the girls from work is having a bonfire. I don't know if I work that day though and I'm sure Pat won't want to go.

I have to get back on track with my dieting, or at least exercising. There's days I eat really bad... I just eat when I'm bored. Or upset. And even when I'm happy! Its a no win situation.

Pat has to go to PT in a little and I don't know what to do. I don't feel like staying at his house and I don't want to go to mine... :(


September 24, 2009

things are looking better

things are looking better... we've worked on some stuff and i feel much better. im still a little unsure and uneasy. but im trying my best to stay positive. i don't want to screw up or do the wrong thing... i love him and i want this to work. :) things are starting slowly to be like they used to. he's doing things he hasn't and it makes me so happy to feel that love again. there's still things we need to work on. but i really think its going to be okay. i love you. ♥

September 13, 2009



-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

September 11, 2009

If I knew what I know now, back then...

[1] I wouldn't be so stubborn
[2] I would have gone straight to a tech school for a medical program instead if YSU
[3] I wouldn't be so selfish
[4] I would have told you I loved you more
[5] I would have never gotten any credit cards. NOT ONE
[6] I would have gone to class
[7] I would have thought things through before doing certain things... Instead if being dumb about stuff.
[8] I would take better care if my car
[9] I would learn to bite my tongue
[10] I would visit my other family members more often
[11] I would have never started smoking
[12] I would have watched what I ate
[13] I would ask more questions
[14] I would communicate better with my boyfriend
[15] I would loosen up
[16] I would do more for you
[17] I would travel more
[18] I would learn to let things go
[19] I wouldn't let everything bother me.
[20] I wouldn't be SO hard on myself
[21] I would love myself more.

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

September 7, 2009

let's make everything okay.

lets lay in a field, miles away from civilization, and just stare at the clouds. we'll giggle, laugh, and forget that we have friends, family, enemies, and problems. let's just focus on us. lets stay here until the sun sets or until it starts to rain. let's listen to the leaves as they fall, and then call it the soundtrack of our lives. let's talk about all our wishes and pretend to set balloons free for each one of them. let's remember this everyday and regret that we can't do it as often as we'd like. let's not ask questions, but just wait for the other to tell. we can disappear together and leave them all questioning.

the only truly painful goodbyes are the ones that are never said and never explained. strange how laughter looks like crying with no sound and how raindrops taste like tears without pain.

September 5, 2009

Realizing what I'm losing.

I feel like all my dreams were shattered into pieces right in front of me... I screwed up and I wish I could go back and fix it. I wish we didn't have to go through any of this. I don't think I'll ever get over this... It just hurts so much. I love you too much.

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

September 2, 2009

'here i go again on my own' ♥

--Life can be so complicating. Once you think you're ahead, things just turn bad again. Take one step forward, then 3 steps backward! When will it ever end? Its a gruesome, vicious cycle and I'm getting very tired of it. I don't know what to do. I thought I found the answers, I definitely found out somethings that explained some other things and helped a little. But now... I'm even more lost. I'm even more confused and I don't know what is right and what is wrong. I don't know what are lies and what aren't. What's sincere? What's bullshit? I need a little help. And no one is helping.

How much longer is this going to go on? And how much longer will I continue to think its all worth it? I'm impatient and I think its been long enough. Everything should be figured out and fixed. I just want to be stress free and happy. I want to live life and enjoy it. :(

August 30, 2009

Not sure who said this but I found it amusing.

"You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the American Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and what use to be the three most powerful men in America were named Bush, Dick, and Colon."

August 29, 2009

where did summer go?

Its already the Canfield Fair... where did summer go?? I feel like I didn't do much at all and it went SO fast. Every season feels that way anymore. Ever since I realized I wasn't a kid anymore. Ever since then, things have gone down hill. I want to be optimistic. Right now looking back at what I've done and looking into my future, doesn't provide anything to be optimistic about. That light of hope is diminishing and with everything else. Eventually things will turn around, but who knows when that will be. If I had three wishes, one would be to make everything okay tomorrow. The other two wouldn't matter. I just want everything to be OKAY. Be BETTER. Be GOOD again.

Ehh, enough of that. I'm not in the mood to think about my problems.

On a positive note, I quit smoking about a month ago and feel GREAT! I also lost 10 pounds! Which for anyone who forgot, I'm losing weight to join the Marines! I did talk to the Navy also... they have all the medical jobs/fields. And I would rather do something medical. But I'm not sure the Navy is what I really want. I really want to push myself and put myself through something that will show me what I am capable of and make me happy. The Marines can do that. And Sgt. Petronio was assigned me(even though he's at the Salem office and I'm from Canfield) but he's awesome! I love him and I barely know him! He makes me motivated and is very encouraging! I don't think he even knows it lol.

I'm debating on whether to go to the Hookah Bar with Bobbi and Wendy. I have to work tomorrow and I'm really tired. But I really want to go out with them. Maybe I'll go out for like a half hour.

I better go get ready then. Peace out.

August 23, 2009

Sean Kingston - I'm At War

(I'm at war)
Fightin' for the one that I love and the one that I truly need
(I'm at war)
Shawty I take a bullet for you girl cause you mean the world to me
(I'm at war)

[Sean Kingston]:
Me love you girl, you lovin' me
So dont fight together cause it was meant to be
Me feel like, I'm in the army
Cause to be with you, thats where my heart wanna be
It's like I'm about to die just to get with you
Feel like youre putting me through World War II
Got my soldier suit and my Timberland boots
Girl I'm down for whatever cause my love is true
(So I tell her) I'm at war with the love of my life
Sweat from my brows running down to my eyes
Everything you are is what I need in my life (My life, my life)

(I'm at war)
Fightin' for the one that I love and the one that I truly need
(I'm at war)
Shawty I take a bullet for you girl cause you mean the world to me
(I'm at war)

(At war, at war, at war, at war, at war. I'm at war)
(At war, at war, at war, at war, at war. I'm at war)

[Lil Wayne]:
Salute to all the veterans
And girl your love's like a nuclear weapon
I'm a five star purple hearter purple sparker camoflauger
Follow my every command and order
You can just call me Captain Carter
So let the missiles rain on your parade
Cause my love is a soldier and my heart is a grenade
I'll bomb any platoon, just call me World War Tune

(I'm at war)
Fightinn' for the one that I love and the one that I truly need
(I'm at war)
Shawty I take a bullet for you girl cause you mean the world to me
(I'm at war)

[Sean Kingston]:
Your mother said, don't talk to me (No!)
But it went through those ears girl, as I can see
So make me know whats your fantasies
Cause baby girl I think that stands to me
I'm on the front line and Im risking my life
I'll make a sacrifice just to have you by my side
Youre the one I love, youre the one I trust
I'll hurt someone that come between us
(So I tell her) I'm at war with the love of my life
Sweat from my brows running down to my eyes
Everything you are is what I need in my life (My life, my life)

(I'm at war)
Fightin' for the one that I love and the one that I truly need
(I'm at war)
Shawty I take a bullet for you girl cause you mean the world to me
(I'm at war)

August 22, 2009


There are not enough words in the dictionary to describe what I am going through inside. These past weeks have been hell and now I come to realize that its been going on for years. There's so much I didn't know and I thought we were good at communicating. So much has been damaged and I don't know if it will ever be right. I have no reassurance and its frustrating. I don't know if it will be okay. I feel like I'm losing my soulmate. My best friend. My only true friend. I can't live my life without him. I'm not prepared to nor do I want to. But nothing seems right. Now we have trust issues and more problems then I think we had before! I don't get it. Love isn't suppose to hurt.

I just want someone to fight for me to stay too.

August 18, 2009

There's so much I want to do but I feel like I'm not good enough to do it.

"Cater 2 U"

[Verse 1 Beyonce]
Baby I See You Working Hard
I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
The More If I Need To Reassure You, My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You (Yeah)
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter

Let Me Help You
Take Off Your Shoes
Untie Your Shoestrings
Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn The Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy

Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man;
I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You

[Verse 2 Kelly]
Baby I'm Happy You're Home,
Let Me Hold You In My Arms
I Just Want To Take The Stress Away From You
Making Sure That I'm Doing My Part (Oh)
Boy Is There Something You Need Me To Do (Oh)
If You Want It (I Got It)
Say The Word (I Will Try It)
I Know Whatever I'm Not Fulfilling (Oh)
Another Woman Is Willing (Oh)
I'm Going To Fulfill Your Mind, Body, And Spirit

I Promise You (Promise You)
I'll Keep Myself Up (Oh)
Remain The Same Chick (Yeah)
You Fell In Love With (Yeah)
I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right
I'll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits
When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You, I'm Here To Serve You (I'm Lovin It, I'm Lovin It)
If It's Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy
All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy


[Bridge Michelle]
I Want To Give You My Breath, My Strength, My Will To Be Here
That's The Least I Can Do,
Let Me Cater To You
Through The Good (Good)
The Bad (Through The Bad)
The Ups And The Downs (Ups And Downs)
I'll Still Be Here For You
Let Me Cater To You
Cause You're Beautiful (You're Beautiful)
I Love The Way You Are (You Are)
Fulfill Your Every Desire (Desire)
Your Wish Is My Command (Command)
I Want To Cater To My Man
Your Heart (Your Heart)
So Pure Your Love Shines Through(Shines Through)
The Darkness We'll Get Through (So Much)
So Much Of Me Is You (Is You)
I Want To Cater To My Man
[Chorus Out]

August 5, 2009

No subject

If you liked it then you should have put a ring on it.

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

When our biggest problems were which boy to like and what clothes to wear tomorrow...

--> Facebook album <--

Check that album out! Its old school! From back in the day... the good times. :) Good memories with good people! ♥it!

I also want to commend former Pres. Bill Clinton. I think it was really cool he went over and 'saved' those girls. I heard that they were told that's how they would be let free... if Bill Clinton would come to the country... doesn't that say something? Instead of our current president, or George Bush... they wanted Bill Clinton... hmmm??


August 4, 2009


I was planning a trip to Washington D.C. but then I realized, I should be saving money for North Carolina. I really want to go to D.C. though. I'm torn. It was a really nice package too. I think about it some more, I guess.
I haven't heard anything from the NC district manager yet, which is really frustrating too. She called the store back but Annette wasn't there that day, so its been like two weeks since then. I know she's busy but, I'm moving regardless and I need the information immediately. And I should be the one talking to her anyway, not Annette. I could easily just send in my resume right now, myself. But I need them to know, its not a "maybe". I need to know about the areas and which stores I can even look at. I can't do anything until I know which store are available. Aghhhh. I'm so frustrated.

I haven't been having a very good week and it just makes me hate this place and EVERYONE here even more. I can't wait to move and start ALL over. I won't regret it one bit.

♥ its whatever.

July 31, 2009

I ♥ roller coasters!

Sheetz continued the new tradition of taking any employee who has been with the company for three or more years, somewhere this summer. Yesterday we went to Kennywood. (In Pittsburgh, PA) It was awesome! They provide transportation, food, and the tickets. But we were allowed to bring family/friends(pay for themselves) and drive separately. I rode with Amanda and Wendy who wanted to stay later and drove separate. We had a blast! It was so much fun and I was surprised and excited that Wendy would go on the roller coasters! I just never thought she was like that. I love roller coasters, but I won't lie. Before I get on them, I'm freaking out inside and I get a little scared. Not enough that I'll turn around and get off but I get really anxious, excited, and nervous all at the same time. After the ride is over, I'm fine and I could go back on the same one a hundred times if I could! I definitely want to thank Sheetz for taking us there. Last year(the first year) we went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which was cool but not much fun for some people. This year, they asked us for suggestions and I didn't think they would take us somewhere like an amusement park. (I suggested the zoo, because I really want to go) But they chose Kennywood which was PERFECT!

I really want to take Pat too. I don't know why but I really want him to go. I think he'll really like it and for some reason really want to share that experience with him. I don't know... its weird. I don't know what is going on between me and him, and I have no clue what I want from him. I'm so confused. There's days I hate him and wish I'd never met him, then there's days I want to make it work, but I don't see it being anything better than the worst. I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY HEAD. And he doesn't help at all! He just makes things even worse and does nothing to make me want to spend the rest of my life with him. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever gone through. And no ones advice helps me figure anything out. UGHHH.

I have to work a few afternoon shifts this week because of all the people who went on vacation this week. There was 8 people or so! And I got fucked. Royally. And its not like anyone thanks you or anything like that. People are so conceited and ignorant. I can't wait to get out of here. Anyone who tells me, "you'll have the same problems down there that you have here." doesn't know what they are talking about. If you leave this state and come back, just driving around here you can see how depressed it is! And people aren't mean and unhappy other places! Yea every once in a while you'll encounter someone like that, but its not all the time. And I'll be glad to leave this rotting place.

If you want to pursue your dreams, you have to get out of Youngstown, Ohio. Ohio is only good for coming back to later in life where you just want an easy, quiet existence.

♥ Jessica.

July 18, 2009

The Cleveland Show - Extended Trailer

The Cleveland Show - Cleveland Extended Trailer

I don't watch much tv but when I do, Family Guy is one show I'll watch. I'm excited for this one. I don't think the trailer showed the potential it has, so I'm hoping it's as good as Family Guy. ((Airs Sept 27; FOX 830pm))


July 9, 2009

I don't know what I want

I'm lost. I need help finding my way back.
I can't help myself, how can I help anyone.
I'm alone. I don't even know me.
Where am I going when I can't even see.

Nothing feels right. This skin doesn't fit.
Just drifting through the light.
Not hearing, feeling, or seeing.

If change is constant, why does it feel like nothing is changing.
Feels as worse as it did before.
Is the hope still worth fighting for
I don't know anymore...

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

July 4, 2009

I'm not afraid to die

Today wasn't a good day. It must be that time of the year... I've noticed every year for a while, there's these periods where I get really depressed. I can feel it starting again. I know it will pass, one way or another. But sometimes I get really afraid for myself. I don't know what God's plan is for me... But I see a few options. And I'm not sure he'll agree with one of them.

It's going to be a tough weekend. And nothing seems to go right. I just don't know anymore. I'm trying to cope but it seems to get harder and harder every year.

What should I do?

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

July 3, 2009

A deserted island fantasy

I wish I was trapped on a deserted island.

No human contact for however long! I would love this. People make me so mad and I think this would help me cope with it. I try to let it go and I can't. I try, I try different things, but I can't get my mind off how stupid, irritating, and disrespectful people are. It sucks when you go out of your way for people you THOUGHT were your friends!

Also here is my deserted island survey:
1) 5 movies you would bring (the only movies you'd have to watch for eternity over and over again)
*The Mummy*Aladdin*any Harry Potter movie*Twilight*The Office(any season)

Weird mix huh?

2) 3 books you would bring?
*The Quest*Ship of Fools*House

3) One electronic handheld?
My itouch and it's charger! Even if there is no Internet, I still have the games on it!!

4) 2 pictures?
*this one of me and Pat from Prom*and one of my dog, Harley

5) 1 CD
Marian Carey doesn't matter which one.

6) Which one would you bring? Favorite hoodie or favorite sweats?
Favorite hoodie, it's black and really cozy!

7) If you could only bring one huge case of canned fruit or canned beans, which would you bring?
Canned fruit

8) Handheld CD player with earphones or big radio/cd player with speakers?
Definitely radio/cd player so I can play my MC cd loud!

9) One phone call when you get to the island, who would you call?
My YiaYia

10) Would you want a fire already going or a little hut already built?
A hut, I could just figure out how to build a fire myself but I don't know if I could build a hut.

That was fun {:

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

July 1, 2009

Not funny.

I wrote a blog about my sister and how great she is last night. When I published it, it said it was successful. So I pressed 'view post now' and it wasn't there!!! I was sooooo pissed. I'm still pissed!! Uggghhhh. I hate technology sometimes. It's more frustrating and a nuisance then a gift! Maybe I'll re-write the post later. I'm so mad.

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

June 26, 2009

Some quick Randomness...

♥ I have a blog about MJ and Farrah Fawcett but its in a draft on an APP on my itouch... and I can't connect to the apartment's internet because I don't have the password. SOOO... later today when I go to the house it will be POSTED.

♥♥ I want to learn how to ride a motorcycle! FOR REAL!! I really want to!!

♥♥♥ I have to remember to post a blog about MOVING TO NORTH CAROLINA!

♥♥♥♥ I'm going to the gym to workout and SWIM! :) The pool is AWESOME! And my tan is coming along very nicely!

♥♥♥♥♥ I don't know if I told ya'll this... (apoligize if I already did) Pat went to Cleveland and made it into the Marines! He just has to wait for a date to leave for bootcamp!

♥♥♥♥♥♥ I passed the shifters test!!!

I think that's enough for right now ;)
Have a good day!

June 25, 2009

Death of Icons

Rest in peace Farrah Fawcett and Michael Jackson

Today seemed to start of great. I woke up to news of the Cleveland Cavaliers, my home state pro basketball team(Ohio), receiving Shaq through the draft! Not only is Shaq a great player but he's like a legend! I've known his name since I was little and for him to be a part of my home state, is like a dream! I'm very excited to see him play in Cleveland next season and I will definitely be at, at least, one game.
The day went on being very relaxing and fun. Then while we were at Happy Hour for drinks, at the Youngstown Sports Grille, mom received a phone call. Thinking nothing of it, Pat and I continued eating. After a minute mom blurted out that Michael Jackson died! Only an hour before this I told her that I saw on Twitter, Farrah Fawcett had died. So when she said this, I was like "No way, you're lying!"
It's unbelieveable! Putting anything he's ever done wrong aside, he's an icon and he's gone! Icons are not suppose to die. He's one of those celebrities you just don't think will ever die. It puts things in perspective. That life really does end, even for the rich and famous. It's hard to grasp that he's really gone. I'll never be able to see him in concert ever. I envy people who have. It's crazy. He really will be missed. But he'll live on through his music. Which no one can deny he was and will always be the King of Pop.

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

June 23, 2009


I do not have all the information but there is proof. As soon as I get the sites I will post them so you all have an idea of this problem.

Ohio companies/employers are sending out advertisements and job listings for opening positions in their companies. Obviously this is normal. But is it normal when they are trying to see how bad you want a job in this economy that they will not pay you? They are offering positions that you will not make a wage or salary. This is not a joke. The positions are mainly you running around doing numerous things at once and not being compensated for it. Some positions allow you to make a very low wage (around minimum) but you must use your car, gas, etc and will not be compensated for it at all. Other positions are hiring you but you are agreeing to not have pay for this amount of months and expected to wait it out until you qualify for a wage. Which in that case they will probably lay you off before this can happen so they can save money and not fulfill their commitment. In the end it comes down to companies using you for all things possible. Knowing the economy is bad and people NEED jobs, they will see how much YOU will do for it. Making you work excess amount of hours with no overtime pay, putting wear and tear on your own vehicle, using your own gas, running errands multiple times a day and more. Please be careful while you are job hunting. There are always jobs available but they might be hard to find and sometimes you do need the right timing. If you can or can not get unemployment, you should still speak to the unemployment office or places like One-Stop. They can help you be aware of job openings, schooling, and so much more. They will also tell you if a job is honestly worth it or not. They are here to help and you should use them! Its like paying all these taxes and not using what you paid for! Don't fall behind, get educated!

June 19, 2009

Important websites that you should know about!

Its all about me :) Everything you want to know about me, you can find within these sites! You can find out what I am doing at this very second, what kind of books I read, what kind of movies I love, what my hobbies are, what my interest are, what my friends look like! Its all here! ::

1.) This database is *brand new* for me! I love it. It has my complete movie collection and many movies/tv shows I have seen. It also lets you rate or vote them, so you guys can see what I think about any movie!

2.) Twitter! I usually tweet up to 20 times a day. And its never spam and I'm never trying to make money! I am actually tweeting about what I am doing RIGHT THEN. Or how I feel about something! (I'm actually using twitter for the reasons they made it; to tell you what I am doing)

3.) Myspace I hate myspace and I think they are very stupid in how they run it. I do keep it because my pictures are stored there and its easy. So if you ever ask to be my friend you can learn about my friends, see my pics, read some past blogs, and etc!

4.) My Google Profile! I ♥ GOOGLE! Here you can also find this list of useful sites and more! It has a little more about me, personally. It also has pics and my contact info.

5.) My Google Library A list of books I have read and decided to keep track of. Provides ratings and reviews!

6.) Facebook Maybe more information about me than Myspace.

I think that's all for right now. I'm sure there's other sites but that's good enough for right now :)

June 18, 2009

American Pie 2; Review

Got my free DVD from Columbia House in the mail the other day! I ordered American Pie 2 because it brings back memories! I love it, no matter how raunchy it is! It always makes me laugh and puts me in a good mood. Yes it is a sexually humorous movie about a group of friends just out of their freshman year of college, but its dead on! It portrays exactly how young people are! About having a good time with friends, their crazy relationships, sexual encounters (and you can't tell me, no one is trying to have sex!), and one crazy summer that they will remember forever! I love the cast: Jason Biggs, Tara Reid, Seann William Scott, Chris Klein, Shannon Elizabeth, Alyson Hannigan, Mena Suvari, Thomas Ian Nicholas, Eugene Levy, Eddie Kaye Thomas, and all the others! The soundtrack to this movie is probably one of the best soundtracks ever. Not only is it great music and songs, it fits this movie perfectly. The music is exactly right. The movie also teaches lessons in funny ways. Take for example, Jason Biggs's character Jim. He has all these embarrassing things happen to him and he stays strong and doesn't let them discourage him. All in all, this movie is always good for a laugh!

I have to cut it short tonight... I'm getting tired and I have lots to do tomorrow. Its my only day off! :) And don't forget to follow me on twitter to get to know me more!

June 17, 2009

Don't forget me when I'm gone

I saw a funeral procession today. I always get sad when I see them or if I pass a funeral home and there's a funeral going on right then. Then it makes me think, who would really show up at mine? Or how many cars would actually follow me to the cemetary?

I would want my friends and family to celebrate my life, not mourn my death. I think I would leave in my will directions and money for them to have a party and have a good time remembering me. I don't want them to be sad that I'm gone, but to be happy I was here and happy they got to share my life with me. And I do belive death isn't the end. I don't know what's out there for us or our souls but I think it a beginning to something new.

-- via the iTouch!

June 14, 2009

Patrick, oh the things that come out of your mouth!

"You know you're a fat ass when you can name every fast food/resturant in your city. You know you're an extreme fat ass when you can name their menus." Pat Carey

"He can shine my parts whenever he wants!"
Pat Carey

"Lets get nautical, baby" Pat Carey

"Forget your laptop, you just got the best 'PC' on the market!" Pat Carey

"I don't dodge it, I RAM IT!" Pat Carey

"Who are you twattering now?" Pat Carey

And the list goes on, more priceless expressions by Pat Carey coming soon.

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!zc

Beautiful Sunday ♥♥

Have you ever gotten too much sleep and then woke up groggy and have that sick feeling? I did this morning! When it happens I feel like I have a hangover and my eyes are going to pop out or something... its the weirdest thing ever and it sucks. On a better note, its sunny and beautiful outside! Its going to be a great day.

I want to get this straight for anyone reading my blogs (present/past). I know I haven't really mentioned this but I think now would be a good time before it gets complicated. Pat and I dated for almost 6 years. I broke up with him this past Memorial Day. I still see him and he is like my best friend... I just think he needs to focus on other things and show me he can treat me better. Now with that said, when I say we still see eachother, WE SEE EACHOTHER EVERYDAY. I can't kick him out of my life and we do a LOT together. SOO....

We're going to go to the park today. I think we're going to hike, picnic, and paddle boating! And we actually might hit the gym for the weight room.

[ Other big news: PAT IS A MARINE NOW!!!!! HE MADE IT AND WENT TO CLEVELAND!! He just has to find out when he can leave now! I'm very happy for him! )

June 10, 2009

so I don't forget (;

Shopping List!:
[1] The Sandlot (DVD)
[2] 10 Things I Hate About You (DVD)
[3] Son-In-Law (DVD)
[4] Drives Me Crazy (DVD)
[5] Can't Harldy Wait (DVD)
[6] She's All That (DVD)
[7] Ever After (DVD)
[8] Love Don't Cost A Thing (DVD)
[9] Contact Solution
[10] grocery shopping
[11] socks

:) now i gotta wait til Friday to get PAID!!

June 9, 2009


My dreams are so messed up sometimes! I had a dream that Jay (Ash's boy) and I got in a physical fight! And I beat him up, ha! He does make me really angry... Maybe that was my way of dealing with him LOL... In my dreams!

I've been watching tweets about the new iPhone... Those prices ATT wants for a new 2 year contract are rediculous. Our economy isn't good enough to buy the phone and plan for $699! Who really can afford that? And is it really worth it?

Were going for a walk this morning. Have to be in Salem around 9:30... I better get goin!

Loves ♥ (:

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

June 6, 2009


__I want to go to Wal-Mart and buy the Vitamin Water10 that is on sale for a DOLLA a piece.
__I also want to go to Wal-Mart and buy lunch meat.
__I'm in the mood to spend money
__Ash got these cool books from Jay's Uncles Estate Auction... they are sweet. Once I start reading them I will update with more info. (They're not normal books... I don't think they are story books... I'm not sure what they are, yet!)
__Pat's getting on my nerves. He doesn't get it.
__I need gas in my car but I think I don't have any more money until I get paid-- NEXT FRIDAY
__I have a headache and I feel sick. I think I woke up with a hangover and I only had ONE beer last night. Ugh.
__My mother is annoying.

Gonna find something to do. Deuces. ♥ ♥

June 5, 2009

ring ring ring!

I'm waiting for my mother to get home so we can go to the gym... She's taking forever! I had even told her that we'd go early today (right after my eye appointment at 4pm) So much for that. We'll probably end up not going if she doesn't hurry.

I got this new wireless mouse for my laptop... I thought you all should know how awesome it is! It has these buttons on the side and the left one will go back to the previous webpage you were on, and the right one magnifies! Its pretty sweet! I'm really amused by it because when I bought it, I didn't know it had these features. And it was on the clearance rack at Wal-Mart, half off... and you know how clearance stuff is! Never really know if your buying something good until you get it home. Haha, I love the little things in life. :D

Right now, I LOVE:
Bow Wow + Soulja Boy's MARCO POLO! Even though its not a new track, I can't stop listening to it! And it bumps in my car. MAADDD BASS!!!

Bow Wow and Nicki Minaj- kiss my ass. Great song.
"K I S S my A S S." That's for everyone hatin!

Vitamin Water10 xxx- i usually HATE Vitamin Water but this 10 cal acai-blueberr-pomegranante is pretty good and doesn't have the nasty after taste that the other ones do!

I'm gonna surf the web and see if I can find anything interesting to blab about :)


June 2, 2009

Where the beats at?

I am so tired of there not being good music out. Where did all the artists and beats go? What is going on? 8 out of 10 songs, suck anymore! And even worse, artists who had good songs, can't seem to keep bringing good ones. Its very frustrating for me. That's why I refuse to buy CDs. ITS NOT WORTH MY MONEY AT ALL!! If you can't make good music, then I'm not spending my hard earned money on you. If, after I download something, and it sounds good, I might buy the album. (But normally I don't because I'M THE WORKING POOR!) And its summer which makes it more frustrating, I want good music during the summer and I'm only finding good, old songs from previous years. And even those, are getting boring to listen to. Music is very important to me and I take this seriously! [I needed to vent about that, sorry]

♥ jes

June 1, 2009

Another Cloud Over the City

A few years ago a building was built in Youngstown. It was built to generate money, jobs, and entertainment and in hopes of bringing people back to Youngstown, Ohio. This entertainment center would host hockey games, shows, concerts, ice skating, football, circus's and more. It was beautifully built and represents the people of Youngstown. Since its birth, it has failed. It has changed management two times already and has changed owners three. The first name was The Convocation Center, then The Chevrolet Centre, and now just recently the Covelli Center. Does a name really matter? Obviously not. The Steel Hound hockey team has been pulled from the hockey world and now we no longer have a hockey team. The semi-pro indoor football team isn't as popular as the big shots hoped to be. The Phantoms, a AHL Hockey team has replaced the loss of our Steel Hounds, and it is not the same. Although most concerts, events, and shows that come to the Covelli Center generate large crowds, sales have dropped and the want to attend is diminishing. Prices are rising, advertising is almost nothing, and the events are not attracting the majority of the consumers. Is this another effect of the curse over Ohio? Will the Covelli Center be able to make a come back this summer? For the sake of the future of Youngstown, Ohio, we still have some hope.

Staying busy keeps you young!

Busy week:
Monday: Doc appt. at 1145am/Pay car insurance(I go to the office to do this)/walk with Jenn and Tar-ah/Paint toe nails/Gym at 530pm/Intervention Party starting at 900pm in Salem/At some point, do bills

Tuesday: Help Uncle Tommy pay a bill online at YiaYia's (His computer is older and his Internet Explorer it out of date, it can't load most sites)/Leetonia Bike Trail- walk or bike/Gym at 530pm/Walk with Melissa at 700ishpm

Wednesday: Relaxing. Going to go with the flow, what ever comes up, comes up. ((Def gym though!))

Work 600am to 300pm/Movie afternoon with Melissa!/Gym at 530pm/Walk with Mel at 700pm/working on resume

Friday: Work 530am to 300pm/Eye appt. 400pm/Gym 530pm/Maybe walk with Mel(Friday's laundry day for her)/Shopping Day {maybe Wal-Mart}/Party in Salem {possibly}

It might not seem like a lot to you guys... but with work in between there and if I'm not sleeping well at night, it'll really takes a tole on me. Not to mention any stress or drama that happens this week. :\ life is life, right?

Drama update:
Wendy transferred to ATown Sheetz (every ones still talking about this)
Kristys Shower/wedding... heard some gossip about this
Sisters friend drives all the way to NCarolina (from Ohio) to pick up a boy, lies to 'rents
MTV MAwards, Eminem fiasco
Cousin has friend move into apartment complex that annoys the eff out of her
Mom has two jobs pending this week, which one does she choose?
Something happened to co-worker... dealing with cheating...
... seems like our lives revolve around drama.

May 31, 2009

Get over it

I am so tired of hearing about people going back and forth about about how hot or how not hot Robert Pattinson. Why does it matter what someone else thinks? Why ask other people what they see in something they like? It's not you so don't worry and they don't have to justify themselves.

Oh and PS my moms a tattle tale so watch out! Hahah!

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

May 30, 2009


I agree when people say Cleveland's cursed. Maybe all of Ohio is. Eventually that curse will break though and you better be prepared! We all just gotta hold out. And keep supporting our teams! What happens when the curse breaks and we didn't support our teams? I'll tell you what, they'll pull the Ohio teams/players to other cities, then Ohio won't have anything. So stay hopeful and optimistic!

<3 king lebron (:


-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

May 28, 2009

Things I love this month...

Lady gaga- she's so different and fresh! I was listening to her before she went fully mainstream and I remember telling my mom she was like the next Madonna! He music is unique and fun and I wish her the best of luck in her career!

Flo Rida- I love his music!!! Everytime I hear a new song of his, I love it. Words can't even explain. I would love to see him in concert.

Twitter- I refused to try it before but I can't get enough of it now!! I'm addicted. I just wish there were more people I personally knew on it. The real celebs that ACTUALLY tweet though are awesome.

Astre gym- our gym! I feel great when I leave. They have tons of equiptment and they're clean. I'm glad we tried this place out.

Quizno's Torpedoes- DELICIOUS and CHEAP!! $4! How can you beat that???

AMP Energy Drinks- any flavor especially the Lightening!! OMG I can't go a day with out one!

So there's a few things I'm into at the moment. Try one, maybe you'll love it as much as I do!

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

May 24, 2009

Live for the day.

Do you ever notice when you stay up all night and you're awake for dawn, you get this weird feeling? I do... In Bram Stoker's, Dracula, he describes this sensation perfectly. He compared it to the tides turning and how it really is the beginning of the new day. I really don't like the feeling I get when this happens. I feel slightly sick and completely helpless. It's very strange.

Well this happened this morning, because we didn't get home until 6am! So after spending the whole previos afternoon and night partying, and being completely trashed, I was not happy to realize it was light outside. I would have much rather been asleep before dawn. And to make matters worse, I was going to be sick this whole day. And I was until about 7pm. It sucked. I have to work on realizing when I've had enough. Which is after maybe 4. Yeah, I'm lightweight. I think it's because in 8th grade I had to go to the ER for severe dehydration and I remember them saying my kidneys were shutting down. I was close to dying. But I think my kidneys never fully healed and are messed up still. That's my theory to why I get drunk after 1. At least I'm a cheap date. (=

I'm getting sleepy again, I'm gonna go.

PS eminem's new album, 'relapse', is pretty good. He really is a lyrical genius, even if he is crazy. Which some of the songs are fucking insane.

-- Post From My iPhone

Hah I don't know what's goin on!

Sooo fuckeddd up. Probably going to regentet this tomorrow! And ihave to go to a wedding shower tomorrow/todayy

-- Post From My iPhone

May 22, 2009

Drama, it'll be the end if you.

Seriously? Is that all we revolve around... drama? I would love for everyone to just get along and love the shit outta eachother for one day. You guys are gonna grow grey hairs and die young if you keep this stress and bullshit up. Life is suppose to be hard and challenging, at times. But mostly we should be learning and living and experiencing friendship/experiencing people!. Having fun and NOT being stressed.
Live your life don't let other people or problems live it for you. Damn.

-- Post From My iPhone

May 18, 2009

Surgery; first ever!

It is 2:24 and I'm feeling better! The surgery was a success! No complications. Southwoods Surgical Hospital is very nice and comfortable. (Southwoods is off of Market Street, the Metro College and the new Dunkin Donuts are also located there). I would definitely recommend going there for surgeries.

I wasn't really nervous but right before I went into the operating room, I became overwhelmed. I dont know what happened but I was able to control myself (not quite calm myself down though). They gave me something in my IV to take care of that. And before I knew it, I was semi aware if voices! I was still completely out of it but I was beginning to understand that people were talking to me. Apparently, it only took like 25-30 mind and they told my mom it would be an hour, so she went to the apartment. I think at this point I passed out and then I saw Pat. He was asking if I was hungry, then mom showed up. Remember I was still out of it so all the stuff that was happening was like dream to me. Eventually we left and went to the apartment because it was closer. I was starving so Pat got Subway, then I went to sleep. I don't know how long I was asleep but it took till now for me to feel not so weird(i just feel queasy and still pretty hungry). And now I'm laying down going to read while Pat washes his truck.

((because I was out of it I don't reallyknow what was removed. I remember hearing it was very very deep and some puss came out. I don't think we have to worry about cancer and I have to go back to see Dr. Lyras in 2 weeks. Those were some little snippets I remember))

I was prescribed Darvocet for the pain so I might not get much reading done haha, I'm a light-weight when it comes to drugs. I'll probablybe sleeping with in 10 minutes!
-- Post From My iPhone

May 15, 2009

Oh life, why do you blur by me? Can't we slow things down and make memories?

It's been a very busy week. I've worked every day and it caught up to me like, the second day! I'm exhausted and tired and by the end of the day I get snappy. But I haft to make that money and I'm grateful I have a job. We've Bern doing very good at the gym this week too! Every day except for sometimes Sundays. I still haven't weighed myself but I've lost inches. I already can fit in certain pants that are a size smaller! And I don't feel like crap! I <3 astre!

I have to get back to work. I'll try to update more later! Luvyas!

-- Post From My iPhone

May 11, 2009

Day 1 of 7! Hectic Monday

Got to sleep in this morning! I don't have to be at work until 10. It's going to be a hellish week though. 7 days of working full shifts in a row plus very important eye exam right after work on Friday. Then surgery on Monday... I hope it goes by fast! Sometimes it really sucks being a grown up.

I guess I should be getting ready for work.
Peace (:

-- Post From My iPhone

May 9, 2009

Finally found an app!

It's been a busy week! Going to the gym, working, and dealing with family stuff has really absorbed all my time. I finally found an app that hopefully works on my itouch! I figured if I got a blogging app it might be easier to blog! Hopefully this one works, the first one I installed(a free one) didn't! This one was only three bucks so not too bad. I'll update ya later, gotta get back to work!

Love yahs!

-- Post From My iPhone

April 27, 2009

kick start!

Mom got me a gym membership at Astre today for my birthday! Very excited. Its perfect! They have two pools, a whirl pool, weight room, free weights, classes, ellipticals, steppers, bikes, and so much more! We went today and did an hour. Its great to have help from my mom. She's very motivating and I know she'll go every day with me! And of course I'll go myself. I need to get in shape! I think I've let it go long enough and I don't want health problems. (And I'm still contemplating the Marines... or maybe the Navy.) I don't know yet. I just want out of OHIO. =)

My 22nd birthday weekend was AWESOME! Too much drinking though. (Gotta work double time at the gym!) We had a bonfire the family dinner Wednesday (before Dad left) at the Ice House... 40 cent wings! Friday, bonfire at the house with Ash, Jay, Pat, Andre, Mel, and Mom. Saturday, Twilight afternoon with Mel! and then to Relic's show at the Cellar with Wendy, Mike, Mel, Pat, Mom, Amanda, and her sister Rachel. Then Sunday we had the cookout at the house. Mel and Mike brought Sebastian! And they got me a cake =) My 22nd years have been up and down, sad and happy, brutal at times... but there are so many memories. We reminisced at the bonfire it was really entertaining! Hopefully there will be tons more, with old and new friends and family!

I also had my doctor appointment this morning. My surgery is the 18th of May. Crossing out fingers that its benign, not a tumor and just a sebaceous cyst! There's a small chance it could be bad... and when you push on it it feels like it runs down into my back which could be a tumor and not a cyst. I'll take it as it comes, though. No worries!!

Watching Intervention and gotta take a shower! Work in the AM!
Love all!

April 22, 2009

Gone baby gone

I'm moving into the apartment!! Finally my own place, again! It's going to be soooooo nice! It's a little further from work but not too bad. I can't wait! Mom will stop over still, which sucks, but I'll get over it.

We went to The Ice House for 40cent wings. I'm so stuffed. And the beer didn't help. blah. I'm so tired too. I'm always tired, maybe there's something wrong with me. I feel like an old lady!! And I hurt like one too. My back, heels, my effing eyes. Everything! I've never felt this shitty. Mom better get here soon so we can leave.

I'm going to take a nap.
Happy earth day!

April 21, 2009

Pathetic. But I can't seem to let it go

I wish things didn't bother me so much. I always let them get to me and I shouldn't. Even when I know these things are going to happen or change... I let it bug me like I had no idea. It's hard to deal with. This stuff is hard to deal with. Life sucks. And it's not that its unfair... I just think I put too much faith in people that don't care. Or I always think people are good at heart and will make unselfish decisions ??? I don't know. I don't know how people can be so mean, forgetting, selfish, greedy, uncaring... All if that. I don't get it. And I hate not knowing.

You can't trust anyone but yourself. And maybe that will never change

Going to bed to sleep it off

April 20, 2009

bad habit :: happy 4.20 :P

I finished the fourth Twilight book, Breaking Dawn! It was good. (I still think S.Meyer isn't a passionate writer and lost the love story part after the first book) But it was good and of course I was happy it ended happily! I have to get started on getting things together for the Book Club! (; I need a list of some books and ideas of how to go about this. Lindy and some others are getting lists together too! Its gonna be fun.

Interventions on tonight! Half hour to the best tv show ever starts! I'm excited its the first Monday in a while that I will be able to watch my show with out being late or being interrupted or any of that!

Mom's moving back in this week and Pat and I get to move to the apartment! SO EXCITED! I can't wait! Its hard going 19 years living with your parents, then one year moving into an apartment and then the next moving into a house!!... and then HAVING TO MOVE BACK IN WITH YOUR PARENTS! Its been good, don't get me wrong. Saved money, had fun with my dad, ate better... but I'll live on my own any day. (In fact, don't tell Pat, but if half the year I could leave and go live completely by myself, on an island in the middle of no where... I totally would. People piss me off.)

Oh, wouldn't it be cool to say you were a groupie for 8 Solid Inches!!!! HAHAHAH.
Guess you had to be there!!

Love you all!

((Remember my birthday's this Friday =)!!))

April 17, 2009

beautiful ohio

My doctor's office called this morning. They made the appointment for my surgery. Its on the 27th and its being done by my mom's cousin. I'm so thankful that I got insurance! =) The cyst is hurting really bad. I can't stand it any longer. Thankfully my doctor made the appointment so soon. I called Annette to tell her that I needed that day off and she called me later and asked if I wanted the next day off too. I didn't think about the stitches and the location of the cyst... my collar on my work shirts rubs right on it. And that's why she's the boss ;) always looking out and thinks of everything!

I have a lot to do and just now, 2:56pm got one of those things done. I finished my bills. (And put some clothes away) I meant to be tackling everything as soon as I got up this morning, but I was sleepy and then Pat asked if I wanted to play the Simpsons on xbox 360. And then race. We always rent games but never get to play them together so I felt obligated to him. PLUS, I want to read my book and he'll throw a hissy fit. I'm going to start cleaning my car right after I finish this and then I might have to get eggs for the cake. I forgot we ran out the other day!

Well its a beautiful day outside. I hear the birds chirping, the wind blowing, the hot rods next door revving... =) Summer's almost here!


April 16, 2009

total eclipse of the heart.

I'm nearly done with Eclipse! i decided to take a break from reading though, I was starting to get a headache! I definitely like this book better than the second, New Moon. The first is still my favorite. Ash gave me the fourth one so I'll start that probably tonight.

I made my appointment for the doctor's today! 2pm. Finally. I can't wait to get this checked. Its a cyst or something similar, on my back near my neck. It hurts really bad and its just unbearable now. I can't even sleep well because of the location of it! The pillow irritates it and its very tender. Its getting bigger every day too. ((Keep in mind I didn't have insurance for a whole year that's why I couldn't get it checked! I just got my insurance through Sheetz a couple of weeks ago)) Dad gets cysts but his don't hurt. Pat and Mom said I have little ones all over my back... that's a scary thought. At least you can't see them. They don't have heads and they're so small they look like bumps. None of those ones hurt, as far as I can tell. My back is sensitive and always hurts, but I assume its not the cysts doing that. Who knows. I hope y co-pay isn't a lot... Ashley's was only $30. I probably won't be so lucky. I was told that Sheetz's insurance is sucky.

I'm baking a cake today! Caramel with caramel icing. Its been in the cupboard forever so I decided it needed to be used. I also have to clean. CLEAN. !!! Yea, we'll see when that happens! I' just to absorbed in the book and I'm tired... I'll get to it. Eventually.

I have a project I have to start =} Its badddd. But its hilarious and he deserves it! Maybe I'll upload it when I'm through. Heehee. I feel so devious!


April 14, 2009

heaviness falls upon you.

I bought the third installment to Twilight today at Barnes and Noble. =) The paperback doesn't come out until August so I spent more than I wanted to. It better be worth it.

The second book, New Moon, I read in about 3 days. (I worked A LOT this past week) I read it that fast because I wanted to see if Bella and Edward were going to be together. I really wanted them to be together! I don't really like the character Jacob. And I didn't know most of the book was about him. Something I didn't see coming. I started the third one today. Not that far in to it but enough to be irritated that Bella hasn't 'changed' yet. I don't know why she just doesn't get married to Edward and get it over with! And Jacob's back. That character is such an ass. If he was my best friend, he'd get his butt kicked! He doesn't seem to care about Bella's happiness, only to keep her in safety. I'm going to borrow the fourth book from Ash. And I asked for the movie for my birthday!

(the 24th of this month!!)

I talked to Colleen and we're going to start a book club! Its going to be so much fun! We'll meet places and talk about the books, and have movie nights if there's movies based on the books we read! We have to come up with a name. Something good. I don't want anything normal like The Book Club. Any ideas?

Pat rented some games so I'll see ya later!

reading the words that are written.

I finally gave in and surrendered. I decided to buy the book Twilight. I refused to become a part of that fad. But I gave in when I saw the book at KMart. It was like ten bucks or something so I decided, "What the heck". It wasn't bad. I like the story and the characters. And I already knew that Robert Pattinson was playing Edward in the movies, so I had a good picture of what I would want Edward to Look like. (Our little secret: I think Robert Pattinson is absolutely perfect.) The story is easy enough to understand. And there's love, action, regret, sadness, all of it. I thoroughly enjoyed it. On the other hand, I don't like the way Stephanie Meyer writes. She's not as passionate as the authors I normally read from and that was a disappointment. Maybe she wrote it for all different ages to read and understand, but I think it could have been better.

I watched the movie too. Edward♥
I'm also done with the second book, New Moon. I'll talk more about that later.
Gotta go! =) Peace.

April 5, 2009

loving life. <3

I might have had that vision. The one that tells you everything is going to be okay. That everything is turning for the better. I think this year might actually be a good one! Last year was bad. The year before that, almost worse. But I think this summer might actually be, well, awesome! Things have changed. My life seems brighter! I haven't felt this way in a long time. Like nothing is truly wrong. Everything if falling into place. A stress has been lifted from my shoulders. Maybe I'll finally be able to calm down and live life slowly. I still know things are going to go wrong, things will still change. But I think for once in a long, long time, there might actually be more good than bad! Its usually the other way around. A few good sprinkled on a LOT of bad. I'll take it as it comes, and I thank whatever divine being granted me this!

P.S. I started reading a new book. Its AWESOME. Title: Acheron Author: Sherrilyn Kenyon -- Definitely up there with The Quest and those types of adventure books. A must read!

April 1, 2009

I want to move to Australia

I think it would be fun to live in Australia. It would be different and exciting. I want to do something adventurous. Maybe I'll plan a trip and save money to do it this summer. Sounds like a plan.

March 30, 2009

Thank You Ohio

I woke up to snow this morning. I normally wouldn't mind... but its Spring!

Please do me a favor and vote for Brittany here:
College Humor Match-Up

I ♥ the Disney Channel.
I'm such a kid.

I think I'll make myself some eggs this morning. I'm still on the Adkins diet. A few times I slipped but I'm going to stick with it. Except... I think... I gained weight! ???? I'm pissed. I don't know how I could have. I wasn't eating more because of the diet... I don't know. I feel like a Holy Fat Ass though. Very disgusted.

Intervention's on tonight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

March 29, 2009

tensions were high in the kitchen.

follow me on twitter!:

watching the office. cant wait for tomorrow, intervention! that is my all time favorite show ever. its just the best thing to ever be created. period. i dont care what anyone says. best. ever. =) had a blast last night with the family! plans got a little messed up. the new bar in boardman, the iron shamrock, doesn't serve food. but its sign says eatery??? we left there and went to the icehouse... well you couldnt even stand. which meant you couldnt sit and eat. so we went to quaker steak and lube. we were surrounded by almost 40 teenie-boppers. but we dealt. i got very tipsy (after like 2 and a half!) and we got ton of pictures. =) i wish aunt chrissy and uncle rick didnt live so far away. =( theyre alot of fun.

we went to ash's tonight. pat screwed with her soooo bad. it was hilarious. shes so ticklish! and we watched the incredibles! lots of laughs!

i'm tired. got a lot of cleaning to do tomorrow. hopefully i wake up motivated. ugh, and i have to do laundry. blah.

love youz!

March 28, 2009

So you came to the master for guidance?

Guess what I got in the mail today! The first season of the Office! I'm watching it right now! So funny!

Tonight's family night with the Buxton's! I think were going to dinner and then to the bar to party! Can't wait! I love my Aunt Chrissy and Uncle Rick! They're awesome. They live in Florida now so I never get to see them. I always want to go visit them, but making a trip all the way to Florida is a little expensive. One day I will. And I'll probably stay in Florida when that happens.

I guess I should be getting ready. I'm so exhausted though. Completely wiped out and I have to work tomorrow! =( Sucky. I don't know what to wear tonight. Blah. I have to go clothing shopping.


March 27, 2009

kung fu panda.

I'm watchin Kung Fu Panda, its a cute movie.
I wish I could kung fu all the people I hate =)
I'm really irritated. Girls are so stupid.
Fuck everyone.

I want to move so BAD. I can't wait for the chance. Its coming soon.
As soon as I do this Medical Assisting program. I'm Out.

I watched Wall-e yesterday. Maybe the best Pixar movie, ever. It was soo cute.
And sad. I cried. I'm really emotional this week. I hate being emotional.

Whatever. Work tomorrow in the AM.
Peace Out.

March 25, 2009


Busy day tomorrow:
Only Day Off
7:45am - Hair
9:30am - Visit Trumbull County Technical Center
12:00pm - Lunch (Applebees I think)
1:00pm - Whitehouse with Pat (Buy green beans)
Then the rest of the day I have to clean, organize my room, visit with the Buxton's!, dinner at some point, play xbox with Pat, and watch Erica's movies so I can give them back to her.

Then I work Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.
I never get anything I need done, though.
There's never enough time in the day.

We're watching Quantum of Solace. Its definitely not the best Bond movie. I prefer Pierce Brosnan or Sean Connery. In fact, I want to buy all the James Bond movies. I recently just bought College and How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Haven't watched either of them. But I'll tell you how they are when I do!

I need to get to bed! I'm so tired. <3

March 18, 2009

iJessica got an iTouch!

=) It is sweet.
The battery sucks though. Very poor. I'm kind of disappointed that something that costs $250.00 and is made from a well known company, sucks. I found some tips to save battery life. The wifi drains it so bad, though. I wanted a mp3 player and Best Buy had nothing. Literally, they didn't have much of a selection at all. I was pissed at first. But I was in a very pissy mood and was not leaving Best Buy without one. I should have just gotten the iPhone. My bad. Oh well. I like my blackjack anyway. I just need to send it in and get a new one! =)

peace out homes.

March 17, 2009


I hate people.
If I don't figure this out, I'm going to scream!
Its one of those days.

So pissed off

My Bravada!

March 15, 2009

Diva is a female version of a hustla.

Well, we made it to Salty Grogs, but there was a wait to get in and like 200 hundred some people. It was insane. We ended up not even trying and went to Cedars where the Zou was playing. We stayed for one beer and about 6 minutes. It was pretty lame. And not worth $5.00. So we left and went to O'Donalds. The Huckin Fillbillys were playing in the tent, they were pretty good. It was crowded there too. But it was fun. I of course had two beers and was gone, but I didn't wake up with a hangover. That's always nice! Megan met me, Bobbi, and Pat at O'Donalds. Mel wouldn't pick up her phone! Which pissed me off because I asked if she'd know (if she wanted to come) by 8:00 and she said yea. I knew she didn't really want to but she could have just said NO, not "well I dunno" when I called her at 8:00. But she wouldn't pick up. Whatever. When she wants me to do something with her, it probably won't happen because I think Annette's starting to schedule me on weekends (for some stupid f'n reason).

I'm really pissy today. And I think I'm going smack Pat. He's being retarded. Last night he was too. Its like he has MALE PMS. I swear to God! He's so ignorant and mean to me. I hate it. Sometimes I don't know why I'm dating him. Its like every so many months we have to take a break. I know other guys would treat me better than he does, but I always hope he'll change. He probably never will. Its a lost cause.

Jeepers Creepers 2 is on.
Peace Out.

March 14, 2009

Where your Boss at?

Yesterday I played Rock Band for the first time! Pat and I were addicted immediately! It was so funny! I can't believe Pat actually got the hang of it. I always thought he didn't have a musical bone in his body. But he understood pretty quickly. We spent like 3 hours playing with Ash and Jay. Now we're in withdrawal. =)

Tonight were going to Salty Grogs pre-St. Patrick's day party! I can't wait. There will be good music ((5 Elements!!!)), green beer, and my girls! I know I shouldn't be drinking a lot... (still losing weight for the Marine Corp) but I just want to party!

I started the Atkins diet a few days ago. I already don't feel as bloated and yucky! I don't feel as weighed down from all the carbs either! Its so nice! Its easy to follow, especially if you plan ahead (like for lunches). And If I have to buy something with bread, I just don't eat the buns. My dad did tell me he got sick when he went on it because he didn't eat any carbs. So he told me in moderation I have to throw some carbs in the diet. To me its not really a diet, I don't feel like I'm following a 'diet'. I'm just watching how many carbs I eat. Which even when I'm not trying to lose weight, I tend to make a note, to myself, of everything I'm eating. Now I just have to get back on track with exercising daily. That's kind of hard with the long hours at work. Today starts the new cycle for me and Pat. We're going for a walk in a few. I love the park!

Favorite song of the moment: Beyonce - Diva
Peace out girl scout.

March 11, 2009

music survey!

Favorite pop artist/band:
pink, britney spears

Favorite R & B artist/band:
r kelly, boyz ll men, mariah carey

Favorite hip-hop artist/band:
ciara, flo rida, beyonce, t-pain

Favorite rap artist/band:
eminem, 50 cent, young jeezy, t.i., ludacris

Favorite rock artist/band:
theory of a dead man, nickelback, foo fighters

Favorite alternative artist/band:
jack johnson, john mayer

Favorite punk artist/band:
i don't really keep up on the punk anymore

Favorite country artist/band:
i don't really like country

Favorite heavy metal band:

Favorite 90s boy band:

Three favorite 80s songs:
new kids on the block - right stuff
tone-loc - wild thing
madonna - material girl

Favorite local band(s):
5 elements! relic!

Country vs Rock?:
def rock

Rap vs Rock?:
I like both

70s rock vs 80s rock?

P Diddy or Jay-z?
def jay z.

Classical musical?:
i love playing classical music on the piano

Song that starts with the letter I?:
In love with a stripper! - t-pain

Queen or Elton John?
love both!

Britney Spears, new stuff or old?
new stuff

Favorite Madonna song(s):
Material girl, like a virgin

Are there any artist you hate?:
there are a few

Most annoying song?:
hmm, james blunt youre beautiful

How many concerts/shows have you been to?
alot... i cant even remember them all

Have you ever crowd surfed?:

Met any famous artists?
If yes, who?:
burt mccracken and the used, finch, new foud glory, my chemical romance

Ever sat front row at a big-time concert?:
yes! Blink182, Green day, 50 cent, ludacris, ciara

Favorite concert/show you've been to?:
50 cent, massacre tour. there were so many different artist, it was awesome!

What are you listening to right now?:
i don't have anything playing right now

What are you listening to in the car?:
my sweet new cd i made. its awesome

Do you listen to the radio?:
very very rarely.

March 3, 2009

happy hour!

amaretto sour anyone?

i went to the BMV. what a depressing place that is. they're always so... mean and unresponsive. i dreaded going but i figured i'd get it out of the way. i didn't have to wait long but i kinda got screwed. my birthday's in april, so either i renew my plates then or buy ones for 2010. well i would have totally bought them for 2010 except they were $81.25, I only had $80 with me!!! (Damn Haircut!) so i had to buy them for april (only $30.25). oh well. now i just have to remember to go back and get them renewed. i'll have to make a note.

i was going to visit sgt. dudley yesterday when i was at the mall... but i decided not to. maybe i should have. it might have kept my morale up. i'm still exercising and watching what i eat. its hard with it being so cold out, though. when it gets warmer, i'll have no problems going for walks and runs. it just feels like it will never get above 35 degrees!!! im tired of winter.

____ i know... i love winter, and even i'm saying i'm tired of her.

i just want to get out of here NOW. ii want to lose the weight and join and be gone from this shit hole. i can't stand anything about this place. nothing. although as much as i HATE my job and think its going to be the death of me... i will proudly say i made $16000 last year! that's awesome considering where i work and what i do. and i'm getting ALOT back from taxes =) i'm happy about that.

i think i'm going to finish cleaning.

balls out.

[We rented this movie with Seann William Scott, its called Balls out. Its pretty funny!]

Today's Agenda:
1) Exercise, 1/2 hour
2) Shower, get ready
3) BMV to buy plates
4) Maybe stop at the Dollar Store
5) Study [Spanish, Algebra]
6) Clean house
7) Laundry
8) Walk Harley

I can't think of anything else that I need to do... it feels like there's something else though. Oh well. I slept really bad last night so I got a late start today. I'm sure I won't do half the things on the list, but I'll try. Pat's out of town working with his Dad so I actually can do everything I need to without him being up my ass... but I can't seem to get motivated! [and I have this splitting head ache brewing right behind my forehead!]

I finally got my hair cut yesterday! It was only $14.95 at Master Cuts in the mall. I got 5 inches cut off and it shaped up a little. No layers though and just an angle in the front. It looks so much healthier now. Maybe next paycheck I'll get it colored and styled. I wouldn't go to Masster Cuts for that and who I would go to, is expensive. So I don't know, I'll have to see what my bills are like.

I think something happened in Pat's head. And it screwed him alllll up. He is eating whatever he wants and not caring. And since he got sick he hasn't done a minute of exercise. I don't understand. I thought he wanted to be a Marine SO bad that he would do anything. He knows this is one of few oppurtunities to start doing something with his life. And I sure as hell am not marrying him if he doesn't start doing something NOW. This is his last chance. Because once I make my mind up not to keep putting up with his bullshit, I'm not turning around. And he better not think I'm just playing around... I'm Not.

I better get started on the important stuff.

February 28, 2009

puzzle fighter is the best game EVER.

Myspace disabled my link(to this blog) on my layout! It takes you to a page that says it was phishing, or spam, or inappropriate bullshit. I don't see anything inappropriate besides sometime my language and there's no spam and I'm not trying to phish anyone! I'm so pissed. I wrote them and told them it wasn't fair to me and that my personal blog wasn't any of those things. Its not like a lot of people even read this and I that's the only way I get my blog out there, by having that one link on my page. Fuck them. I wrote the URL out and put it on my page twice. Asshole.

I started my daily workout routine. I did it for 4 days straight then got sick. So I have to start again. I've also been watching what I'm eating, even at work. And its easier at work to eat healthier. We just got our RTE (ready-to-eat) products from Sheetz Bros. Kitchen. We offer amazing fresh fruit cups(pineapple, strawberry, grapes, cantalope, watermelon), yogurt, hummus and pretzels, cheese/crackers, apples/caramel dip, hard-boiled eggs, cheese sticks/blocks, and lunch meat sandwiches and different wraps and salads. Not everything is completely healthy but its a lot healthier than what you order from MTO. So I've been getting a fruit, string cheese, and a sandwich(had to try a few). I'll probably cut down to a bagel though instead of a sandwich or just a turkey sandwich. The wraps have dressings that are fattening. And I stopeed drinking pop. = )

Now, I can't wait for the weather to get a little warmer and then I can go walking! I'll bring Harley too, he needs to lose some weight!

February 21, 2009


i decided to become a Marine! i found out how much i have to lose and took the practice asvab test. i scored low though(but passed) because i don't remember any kind of math, at all. i'm studying right now so i can get a better score than pat, when i take the real one! they don't offer jobs that are strictly just nursing. so i thought about military police. i think that would be cool and i thought about becoming a police officer last year. i also found out i would start at e-3 because of college. that means i'm higher than patrick!!! i really really want this. i've never wanted something so bad. it just clicked for me about two days after the meeting with Sgt. Dudley. This is what i want to do. i want to serve, i want to be apart of something, i want to do something with my life. i started my diet but it will take a few months. after 5 years with patrick, i gained a lot of weight. all the eating out and lounging around, partying... i hate him for it. but i know its not all completely his fault. i hope it doesn't take too long. i want to go know!

i'm going to do this. and i'm so excited.

February 17, 2009

"Authority doesn't work without prestige, or prestige without distance." - Charles de Gaulle

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

Some much needed R&R is coming the next few days. I'm on 'vacation' because Pat was suppose to leave on the 20th. Well he got sick and gained weight so obviously, he has to get better and lose the weight. But I'm still taking the vacation days. If I don't I'll probably burn the store down and tell them all to fuck off. Its been that kind of year, already. Not a great way to start the year but I guess you can't control how stupid, ignorant, disrespectful, incompetent, and insensitive people can be. Especially the people you thought were 'friends' and still act like everything's okay! But whatever, I'm moving on and I'll just forget about all of you. You don't need me, I don't need you.

I have to take YiaYia to the doctors tomorrow and then Patrick made an appointment for me to talk to Sgt. Dudley. That douche-bag wants me to join the Marines. HA. I mean I totally would. Good job security, benefits, schooling, traveling, all the bonuses... but I don't think I can cut it in boot camp. Actually I already know hard it would be. I'm not the athletic type and I HATE being yelled at. I'll be crying every day. I know if I tried, I could. But do I want to? I know I can be a bitch and mom says it would be perfect for me (but she doesn't want me to do it) but can I actually be that stern and mature? I like to laugh and have a good time. I can be a girly-girl! Can I control those urges for 13 weeks? And then after, what if I don't change back to my old self? I mean, Pat's recruiter is cool and normal and all the other sergeants that he knows, are too... but what if I can't relax again? I don't know. I need to get some kind of schooling for something and I don't know if I can afford it on my own. This would be the best opportunity to use the government while they use me. Its a big decision. But I really have nothing to lose (besides my life if I have to go to active duty). But I have nothing serious going on for me right now. Nothing. Doesn't matter where I live, I'm not going to school right now, I hate my job. You know, I can actually just drop and leave tomorrow (after I make the weight requirements). Luckily, I would have to lose weight. This is a good thing because if I stay with Sheetz until my 5 year anniversary which is this July, they will match 100% of my 401k. I already have about 2500 saved which right now they're only matching 4%. But 100% will be AWESOME. So that gives me months to think about this and lose weight. I know it sounds weird for me to even be considering this, but I don't want to go to a traditional college and I don't know if I want to do any programs around here. Plus everyone I've talked to, said "you can't even do real-life" and said there's no way I could do it. So that kind of make me want to show them up and then tell them to fuck off.

Decisions, Decisions.

February 15, 2009


i have a

i think i slept in too long.

im bored and i havent even
been up for

theres things
i should be doing
i just dont feel
like it.

February 10, 2009

i want to pull my f'n hair out!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD I AM SOOO PISSED!!!!!!!!!! I want to fucking break something. Or kick someone. I knew it this whole fucking time! I'm so happy I'm not a fucking idiot but at the same time, it sucks being right!!!! I can't believe I actually was given this chance to see how people can really be and prove my thoughts correct! I really didn't think it was going to be like this. That I was given proof. Now, I just have to get past it, which may be hard. I keep saying it doesn't bother me, but of course I'm lying. I hate not being needed. I hate not being in the 'know'. I hate not having my spotlight. I hate confrontations, I hate problems. All that stuff. But I knew this is how it was. I just have the fucking proof and I don't have to pretend to myself that there is some little bit of hope out there. I guess I don't want there to be any way. I'm better off. And I've done it before. I just like to think I'm a good person and I can put things behind me. That's why I don't hold grudges and I look for the good in everything and hope for the best even in the worst of times. I get over things fast. Sometimes I just need a few minutes to rant and rave and bitch and complain. Every girl needs that! We need to get the stress out of our systems. Sometimes I have a short fuse but I put it out shortly after exploding. I can do this. I'm lucky to be as independent and smart as I am. I can rely on myself. And I don't need anyone. (Sometimes I just don't let that be known) I don't need people. And I know people don't need me.

its funny how things work out. in the end that gut feeling is usually right. and its funny. i feel like having a good laugh.

February 8, 2009

intriguing. . .

Ash read this book and said it was good. I usually take her word on books because she has good taste. Good writer's taste. Its called Candy by Luke Davies. Its about two heroin addicts and their life as a couple. Its really good. It opens your eyes to the life of a hardcore addict. Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish starred in the motion picture. I think I might try to rent it after I finish the book.

I got my movies I ordered today =) I bought Independence Day. It had been on tv the last few weeks and seemed like a must-have for our collection. We really like it. I also watched Home Alone 2 a few weeks ago and decided I should add that to the collection. Love those movies. And then I decided to buy something new. I bought My Best Friend's Girl, with Kate Hudson and Jason Biggs. It looked funny. I have a growing collection of movies, but they never seem to stay in my book shelf. I gotta stop lending them out to mom. I might never get them back! We bought Man of the Year and Made at Buy Backs today, too. Love that store. You can get movies for under $5.00! And even though they're not new and don't look new, they work perfectly.

Gotta go to bed. We have Breakfast at Mrs. Carey's tomorrow morning!

February 7, 2009


Pat and I planned a little road trip yesterday. We were going to drive to Indiana and surprise Dad. It would have been funny. Dad would have been like "check out these muthafuckers". Haha, I can picture it now. We were gonna act real cool about it too, like we didn't expect to see him at the hotel. We were going to drive my car, so he could see it. We got packed after I got off work. Went to the bank. Left about 3 hours after our original departure time. Talked about it in Sheetz's parking lot and decided to go through with it. We drove an hour on the turnpike and stopped at a Service Center. Ate and decided to turn around. Although this is probably the last time we could have gone on a trip, before Pat leaves- the 20th, I think we made the better decision. We didn't go through much gas so it wasn't a waste to turn around. Plus, I can save my money now. All my bills except for one come out within the same week. The first week of the month. And with my new insurance bill, and my paychecks being split between two accounts, I kinda got screwed at the beginning of next month. One half of my paycheck goes to Mom, its my payment on the $3500 I owe her for loaning me the money for the car. Even though its half of my paycheck, I can still survive. I might still change that though to it being split %60/%40 or something. Now instead of spending all the money I took out for gas and a hotel, I can save it for two weeks from now when I get paid and combine it with the other paycheck and make a bigger payment on my credit cards. I was disappointed but I don't think it was a good idea we went to Indiana.

When we got home we were going to go to the movies. That didn't happen.

Its 52 degrees out!
I hope I don't get sick, though. And its not like the cold weather and snow is gone. Its only February! And the weather man's always wrong [=

I've been using this BWM Diet Manager, its awesome. I has hundreds of different foods, their calories, and info in a database. You can add more, too. Which is awesome because Sheetz has a nutrition calculator so I know exactly what I'm eating. After you "eat" the items it calculates all the calories and shows a chart and compares different things. (Exercise, your budget, calories, target, and BMR). Then you can add your exercises. And it has about a hundred different things and how much you burn. Its very helpful and I also haven't been eating after 6:00pm. That's going good. For about a week I was doing the treadmill at night. I have to start that up again. Mom did say she thinks I've lost a few pounds and coming from mom that is a HUGE deal.

My baby's at M16 training with the Marines today. He asked if I wanted to go, but I think I'd be embarrassed, and I have things to do at the house. Its getting close to the date he's supposed to be leaving. And I think we're both getting nervous. I know there's always a chance he won't pass their health tests and such. Maybe they'll find something bod, maybe they won't. I talked to some other people and they said they knew someone who was disqualified for having bad eyesight... I don't know if they're that strict... but who knows. I told him health-wise, if he doesn't pass their test, he can always try the army or navy. He was already told by them that he could join right now, but he wants to lose the extra couple of pounds and be a Marine. I love him.

<3 I gotta peace.

February 2, 2009

So, here's what happened.

Maybe I'm not supposed to have a Bravada. We've looked at how many in the last two months? And I've gotten screwed, every way possible. Now before you say, "it sounded to goo to be true!" let me tell you, I did have a slight feeling something was wrong. When dealing with the salesman from the Bravada I wrote about previously, I had this gut feeling that something was up. I didn't want to believe it. I admit that. I just wanted out of my car so bad that I ignored my women's intuition, I guess you could say. =) Yea, we women have a kind of sixth sense.

That, and excuse my language (not very lady like) motherfucker sold the car out from underneath us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the story: Friday we went and 'made the deal'. Saturday the loan places weren't open and blahblah SO, Monday we were coming with $500 for a hold/down payment. Either Mom was co-signing or Dad was going to see it and we'd buy it when he got home. Pat talked to Mom, she said we'd finance through our bank. We'd have the money on Monday. Pat called Monday morning(today) to say he was coming down with the money. The guy, Dave said okay, come on down. They got there (I was at work), the fucker proceeded to tell them his boss sold the car on SATURDAY! Mom was furious and walked out right there. Pat said he told him that someone came in with $9000 cash. Ok? First off, we were getting it for 6, so that person's a fucking idiot. Well, needless to say Pat told him how it was and the guy tried to say he'd get another one. Where are you going to find another Bravada??? With that low of miles?! And that perfect?! We've only come across a handful in the last two months, its not like there a normal SUV, at least not around here! I cried, of course. I was sooo upset.

So Mom, Pat, and I went looking at some other lots. There was a sale pending on a LandRover, but we'd be called as soon as they found out if they could get financed. Pat and I went to Medina to look at another Bravada that was really cheap and had a little more miles but still under average for its year. Well that one was all messed up. That one should have been at Dave's, "I'm A Crook" Car Lot, and his should have been at this big dealership... and the deal was just ignorant, basically. There was a lot wrong and it just wasn't nice. So that fell through. Even though the guy thought we were set on it. Then pretty much our last hope, called back. Another big dealership had a Bravada and the sale fell through on that because the people couldn't get financed. Well, long story short... I BOUGHT IT! AND ITS BETTER THAN ALL THE OTHER ONES!!!!! I think I was meant to have this one and not the other ones. This ones almost the same but has a few better features. Instead of having heated seats(which would have been AWESOME), I get a moon roof! And the mirrors defrost! And It has the information system that tells you when your oils low, gas mileage and all that good stuff. It also has side window defrosters, rear windshield wiper, the mirrors(all of them) dim headlights and... the big one, AIR RIDE!!! I guess the air ride compensates for the way the car rides at different speeds, or something along those lines. Its sweet! And the other Bravadas we looked at didn't have any of those, but did have the heated seats. But to be honest, I think I'd rather have the moon roof then heated seats. Its more fun. =)

I ended up, luckily getting $2000 for my piece. And all the paper work is done. I just have to go in with the money tomorrow and get my insurance situated. I'm so excited.

And I have Pat to thank for all of this. Without him I would have never gotten the deal we got. I got the Bravada for $5500 out the door!!! I love him so fucking much!!!!