February 17, 2009

"Authority doesn't work without prestige, or prestige without distance." - Charles de Gaulle

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

Some much needed R&R is coming the next few days. I'm on 'vacation' because Pat was suppose to leave on the 20th. Well he got sick and gained weight so obviously, he has to get better and lose the weight. But I'm still taking the vacation days. If I don't I'll probably burn the store down and tell them all to fuck off. Its been that kind of year, already. Not a great way to start the year but I guess you can't control how stupid, ignorant, disrespectful, incompetent, and insensitive people can be. Especially the people you thought were 'friends' and still act like everything's okay! But whatever, I'm moving on and I'll just forget about all of you. You don't need me, I don't need you.

I have to take YiaYia to the doctors tomorrow and then Patrick made an appointment for me to talk to Sgt. Dudley. That douche-bag wants me to join the Marines. HA. I mean I totally would. Good job security, benefits, schooling, traveling, all the bonuses... but I don't think I can cut it in boot camp. Actually I already know hard it would be. I'm not the athletic type and I HATE being yelled at. I'll be crying every day. I know if I tried, I could. But do I want to? I know I can be a bitch and mom says it would be perfect for me (but she doesn't want me to do it) but can I actually be that stern and mature? I like to laugh and have a good time. I can be a girly-girl! Can I control those urges for 13 weeks? And then after, what if I don't change back to my old self? I mean, Pat's recruiter is cool and normal and all the other sergeants that he knows, are too... but what if I can't relax again? I don't know. I need to get some kind of schooling for something and I don't know if I can afford it on my own. This would be the best opportunity to use the government while they use me. Its a big decision. But I really have nothing to lose (besides my life if I have to go to active duty). But I have nothing serious going on for me right now. Nothing. Doesn't matter where I live, I'm not going to school right now, I hate my job. You know, I can actually just drop and leave tomorrow (after I make the weight requirements). Luckily, I would have to lose weight. This is a good thing because if I stay with Sheetz until my 5 year anniversary which is this July, they will match 100% of my 401k. I already have about 2500 saved which right now they're only matching 4%. But 100% will be AWESOME. So that gives me months to think about this and lose weight. I know it sounds weird for me to even be considering this, but I don't want to go to a traditional college and I don't know if I want to do any programs around here. Plus everyone I've talked to, said "you can't even do real-life" and said there's no way I could do it. So that kind of make me want to show them up and then tell them to fuck off.

Decisions, Decisions.

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