February 28, 2009

puzzle fighter is the best game EVER.

Myspace disabled my link(to this blog) on my layout! It takes you to a page that says it was phishing, or spam, or inappropriate bullshit. I don't see anything inappropriate besides sometime my language and there's no spam and I'm not trying to phish anyone! I'm so pissed. I wrote them and told them it wasn't fair to me and that my personal blog wasn't any of those things. Its not like a lot of people even read this and I that's the only way I get my blog out there, by having that one link on my page. Fuck them. I wrote the URL out and put it on my page twice. Asshole.

I started my daily workout routine. I did it for 4 days straight then got sick. So I have to start again. I've also been watching what I'm eating, even at work. And its easier at work to eat healthier. We just got our RTE (ready-to-eat) products from Sheetz Bros. Kitchen. We offer amazing fresh fruit cups(pineapple, strawberry, grapes, cantalope, watermelon), yogurt, hummus and pretzels, cheese/crackers, apples/caramel dip, hard-boiled eggs, cheese sticks/blocks, and lunch meat sandwiches and different wraps and salads. Not everything is completely healthy but its a lot healthier than what you order from MTO. So I've been getting a fruit, string cheese, and a sandwich(had to try a few). I'll probably cut down to a bagel though instead of a sandwich or just a turkey sandwich. The wraps have dressings that are fattening. And I stopeed drinking pop. = )

Now, I can't wait for the weather to get a little warmer and then I can go walking! I'll bring Harley too, he needs to lose some weight!

February 21, 2009


i decided to become a Marine! i found out how much i have to lose and took the practice asvab test. i scored low though(but passed) because i don't remember any kind of math, at all. i'm studying right now so i can get a better score than pat, when i take the real one! they don't offer jobs that are strictly just nursing. so i thought about military police. i think that would be cool and i thought about becoming a police officer last year. i also found out i would start at e-3 because of college. that means i'm higher than patrick!!! i really really want this. i've never wanted something so bad. it just clicked for me about two days after the meeting with Sgt. Dudley. This is what i want to do. i want to serve, i want to be apart of something, i want to do something with my life. i started my diet but it will take a few months. after 5 years with patrick, i gained a lot of weight. all the eating out and lounging around, partying... i hate him for it. but i know its not all completely his fault. i hope it doesn't take too long. i want to go know!

i'm going to do this. and i'm so excited.

February 17, 2009

"Authority doesn't work without prestige, or prestige without distance." - Charles de Gaulle

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

Some much needed R&R is coming the next few days. I'm on 'vacation' because Pat was suppose to leave on the 20th. Well he got sick and gained weight so obviously, he has to get better and lose the weight. But I'm still taking the vacation days. If I don't I'll probably burn the store down and tell them all to fuck off. Its been that kind of year, already. Not a great way to start the year but I guess you can't control how stupid, ignorant, disrespectful, incompetent, and insensitive people can be. Especially the people you thought were 'friends' and still act like everything's okay! But whatever, I'm moving on and I'll just forget about all of you. You don't need me, I don't need you.

I have to take YiaYia to the doctors tomorrow and then Patrick made an appointment for me to talk to Sgt. Dudley. That douche-bag wants me to join the Marines. HA. I mean I totally would. Good job security, benefits, schooling, traveling, all the bonuses... but I don't think I can cut it in boot camp. Actually I already know hard it would be. I'm not the athletic type and I HATE being yelled at. I'll be crying every day. I know if I tried, I could. But do I want to? I know I can be a bitch and mom says it would be perfect for me (but she doesn't want me to do it) but can I actually be that stern and mature? I like to laugh and have a good time. I can be a girly-girl! Can I control those urges for 13 weeks? And then after, what if I don't change back to my old self? I mean, Pat's recruiter is cool and normal and all the other sergeants that he knows, are too... but what if I can't relax again? I don't know. I need to get some kind of schooling for something and I don't know if I can afford it on my own. This would be the best opportunity to use the government while they use me. Its a big decision. But I really have nothing to lose (besides my life if I have to go to active duty). But I have nothing serious going on for me right now. Nothing. Doesn't matter where I live, I'm not going to school right now, I hate my job. You know, I can actually just drop and leave tomorrow (after I make the weight requirements). Luckily, I would have to lose weight. This is a good thing because if I stay with Sheetz until my 5 year anniversary which is this July, they will match 100% of my 401k. I already have about 2500 saved which right now they're only matching 4%. But 100% will be AWESOME. So that gives me months to think about this and lose weight. I know it sounds weird for me to even be considering this, but I don't want to go to a traditional college and I don't know if I want to do any programs around here. Plus everyone I've talked to, said "you can't even do real-life" and said there's no way I could do it. So that kind of make me want to show them up and then tell them to fuck off.

Decisions, Decisions.

February 15, 2009


i have a

i think i slept in too long.

im bored and i havent even
been up for

theres things
i should be doing
i just dont feel
like it.

February 10, 2009

i want to pull my f'n hair out!!!!!!!!!!

OH MY GOD I AM SOOO PISSED!!!!!!!!!! I want to fucking break something. Or kick someone. I knew it this whole fucking time! I'm so happy I'm not a fucking idiot but at the same time, it sucks being right!!!! I can't believe I actually was given this chance to see how people can really be and prove my thoughts correct! I really didn't think it was going to be like this. That I was given proof. Now, I just have to get past it, which may be hard. I keep saying it doesn't bother me, but of course I'm lying. I hate not being needed. I hate not being in the 'know'. I hate not having my spotlight. I hate confrontations, I hate problems. All that stuff. But I knew this is how it was. I just have the fucking proof and I don't have to pretend to myself that there is some little bit of hope out there. I guess I don't want there to be any way. I'm better off. And I've done it before. I just like to think I'm a good person and I can put things behind me. That's why I don't hold grudges and I look for the good in everything and hope for the best even in the worst of times. I get over things fast. Sometimes I just need a few minutes to rant and rave and bitch and complain. Every girl needs that! We need to get the stress out of our systems. Sometimes I have a short fuse but I put it out shortly after exploding. I can do this. I'm lucky to be as independent and smart as I am. I can rely on myself. And I don't need anyone. (Sometimes I just don't let that be known) I don't need people. And I know people don't need me.

its funny how things work out. in the end that gut feeling is usually right. and its funny. i feel like having a good laugh.

February 8, 2009

intriguing. . .

Ash read this book and said it was good. I usually take her word on books because she has good taste. Good writer's taste. Its called Candy by Luke Davies. Its about two heroin addicts and their life as a couple. Its really good. It opens your eyes to the life of a hardcore addict. Heath Ledger and Abbie Cornish starred in the motion picture. I think I might try to rent it after I finish the book.

I got my movies I ordered today =) I bought Independence Day. It had been on tv the last few weeks and seemed like a must-have for our collection. We really like it. I also watched Home Alone 2 a few weeks ago and decided I should add that to the collection. Love those movies. And then I decided to buy something new. I bought My Best Friend's Girl, with Kate Hudson and Jason Biggs. It looked funny. I have a growing collection of movies, but they never seem to stay in my book shelf. I gotta stop lending them out to mom. I might never get them back! We bought Man of the Year and Made at Buy Backs today, too. Love that store. You can get movies for under $5.00! And even though they're not new and don't look new, they work perfectly.

Gotta go to bed. We have Breakfast at Mrs. Carey's tomorrow morning!

February 7, 2009


Pat and I planned a little road trip yesterday. We were going to drive to Indiana and surprise Dad. It would have been funny. Dad would have been like "check out these muthafuckers". Haha, I can picture it now. We were gonna act real cool about it too, like we didn't expect to see him at the hotel. We were going to drive my car, so he could see it. We got packed after I got off work. Went to the bank. Left about 3 hours after our original departure time. Talked about it in Sheetz's parking lot and decided to go through with it. We drove an hour on the turnpike and stopped at a Service Center. Ate and decided to turn around. Although this is probably the last time we could have gone on a trip, before Pat leaves- the 20th, I think we made the better decision. We didn't go through much gas so it wasn't a waste to turn around. Plus, I can save my money now. All my bills except for one come out within the same week. The first week of the month. And with my new insurance bill, and my paychecks being split between two accounts, I kinda got screwed at the beginning of next month. One half of my paycheck goes to Mom, its my payment on the $3500 I owe her for loaning me the money for the car. Even though its half of my paycheck, I can still survive. I might still change that though to it being split %60/%40 or something. Now instead of spending all the money I took out for gas and a hotel, I can save it for two weeks from now when I get paid and combine it with the other paycheck and make a bigger payment on my credit cards. I was disappointed but I don't think it was a good idea we went to Indiana.

When we got home we were going to go to the movies. That didn't happen.

Its 52 degrees out!
I hope I don't get sick, though. And its not like the cold weather and snow is gone. Its only February! And the weather man's always wrong [=

I've been using this BWM Diet Manager, its awesome. I has hundreds of different foods, their calories, and info in a database. You can add more, too. Which is awesome because Sheetz has a nutrition calculator so I know exactly what I'm eating. After you "eat" the items it calculates all the calories and shows a chart and compares different things. (Exercise, your budget, calories, target, and BMR). Then you can add your exercises. And it has about a hundred different things and how much you burn. Its very helpful and I also haven't been eating after 6:00pm. That's going good. For about a week I was doing the treadmill at night. I have to start that up again. Mom did say she thinks I've lost a few pounds and coming from mom that is a HUGE deal.

My baby's at M16 training with the Marines today. He asked if I wanted to go, but I think I'd be embarrassed, and I have things to do at the house. Its getting close to the date he's supposed to be leaving. And I think we're both getting nervous. I know there's always a chance he won't pass their health tests and such. Maybe they'll find something bod, maybe they won't. I talked to some other people and they said they knew someone who was disqualified for having bad eyesight... I don't know if they're that strict... but who knows. I told him health-wise, if he doesn't pass their test, he can always try the army or navy. He was already told by them that he could join right now, but he wants to lose the extra couple of pounds and be a Marine. I love him.

<3 I gotta peace.

February 2, 2009

So, here's what happened.

Maybe I'm not supposed to have a Bravada. We've looked at how many in the last two months? And I've gotten screwed, every way possible. Now before you say, "it sounded to goo to be true!" let me tell you, I did have a slight feeling something was wrong. When dealing with the salesman from the Bravada I wrote about previously, I had this gut feeling that something was up. I didn't want to believe it. I admit that. I just wanted out of my car so bad that I ignored my women's intuition, I guess you could say. =) Yea, we women have a kind of sixth sense.

That, and excuse my language (not very lady like) motherfucker sold the car out from underneath us!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's the story: Friday we went and 'made the deal'. Saturday the loan places weren't open and blahblah SO, Monday we were coming with $500 for a hold/down payment. Either Mom was co-signing or Dad was going to see it and we'd buy it when he got home. Pat talked to Mom, she said we'd finance through our bank. We'd have the money on Monday. Pat called Monday morning(today) to say he was coming down with the money. The guy, Dave said okay, come on down. They got there (I was at work), the fucker proceeded to tell them his boss sold the car on SATURDAY! Mom was furious and walked out right there. Pat said he told him that someone came in with $9000 cash. Ok? First off, we were getting it for 6, so that person's a fucking idiot. Well, needless to say Pat told him how it was and the guy tried to say he'd get another one. Where are you going to find another Bravada??? With that low of miles?! And that perfect?! We've only come across a handful in the last two months, its not like there a normal SUV, at least not around here! I cried, of course. I was sooo upset.

So Mom, Pat, and I went looking at some other lots. There was a sale pending on a LandRover, but we'd be called as soon as they found out if they could get financed. Pat and I went to Medina to look at another Bravada that was really cheap and had a little more miles but still under average for its year. Well that one was all messed up. That one should have been at Dave's, "I'm A Crook" Car Lot, and his should have been at this big dealership... and the deal was just ignorant, basically. There was a lot wrong and it just wasn't nice. So that fell through. Even though the guy thought we were set on it. Then pretty much our last hope, called back. Another big dealership had a Bravada and the sale fell through on that because the people couldn't get financed. Well, long story short... I BOUGHT IT! AND ITS BETTER THAN ALL THE OTHER ONES!!!!! I think I was meant to have this one and not the other ones. This ones almost the same but has a few better features. Instead of having heated seats(which would have been AWESOME), I get a moon roof! And the mirrors defrost! And It has the information system that tells you when your oils low, gas mileage and all that good stuff. It also has side window defrosters, rear windshield wiper, the mirrors(all of them) dim headlights and... the big one, AIR RIDE!!! I guess the air ride compensates for the way the car rides at different speeds, or something along those lines. Its sweet! And the other Bravadas we looked at didn't have any of those, but did have the heated seats. But to be honest, I think I'd rather have the moon roof then heated seats. Its more fun. =)

I ended up, luckily getting $2000 for my piece. And all the paper work is done. I just have to go in with the money tomorrow and get my insurance situated. I'm so excited.

And I have Pat to thank for all of this. Without him I would have never gotten the deal we got. I got the Bravada for $5500 out the door!!! I love him so fucking much!!!!