July 30, 2010

Day 60 [Excited to be Mrs. Jessica Ann Carey!!!]

I'm so excited to marry Pat!!! And it's ten times better because he SOOO excited too! It's all he talks about in his letters! I want to put them on here, but I think they're too personal. I read them to my sister (which I love doing, we analyze everything) and I read snippets to other people. I decided to make them their own scrap book for right now. I didn't have anything from before when Pat was a poolee so I can't really do much with all that until graduation and after. So I decided I'll put them in the scrap book and then I'll have them forever! =) I'm so excited to see him. He told me in Sunday's letter that he was going to hate when I go to work and he can't see me, but he knows I have to work =( I wish he wouldn't have told me that because now it's going to be really hard for me to want to go. I would have been better off if he didn't say it LOL. I can't wait though. There's so much I want to do and talk about and I feel like I need to start prepping now!! I want to pack already!!! LOL and I want to get his goodie bag together now, but I'm afraid of the candy/chocolate/etc getting hard or not tasting good. So I'm going to wait till like the week before. (And I have to remember to get the bag for the goodies from Walmart. They have the present bags really cheap)

There's so much going on and so much I need to do. I've become unorganized the past few weeks and it's messing everything up =\ I don;t even know where I am!

Need to figure everything out and get grounded again.

I love Patrick

July 29, 2010

Day 59 [11 Pages of Love]

Well thankfully, I got deferred from jury duty. I almost cried when I listened to the voice message the jury clerk left me. I was so happy. That night though, Dad broke some bad news about my car. I'm getting screwed left and right with the car. Because we waited to tell them to do it (had to make sure I was going to be able to use all the money, mom FREAKED, it's going to cost $4800) someone else bought the head! There's only a few in the US!!!!!!!!! What are the chances of someone needing one really?!? UGHHH. I'm so pissed. Barry said they can't find any. It could be weeks. I don't know what I'm going to do. Dad's coming with us to the graduation which is AWESOME. I'm really happy about that because I was stressing about it. I thought he wouldn't be able to. But now, how am I going to get to Hocking Hills???? I'll have to rent a car and I didn't factor that into anything because it wasn't supposed to ever happen. Now I think I'm going to have to not make big payments on my bills the next two paychecks, so I can save money for a rental car and then there's other things. Gas money, clothes for Pat- he's not going to fit into anything he owns, I have to get contacts, my hair done, nails- maybe ?, food for the cabin, goodie bag for Pat, food in South Carolina, I don't even know what else. I'm sure I'm missing tons of stuff. It's really stressful.

I have to work till midnight tonight, fun fun. I don't feel like doing anything. I've been having weird dreams and not sleeping well...

I dreamt of Pat last night, but I don't remember =(=(

July 27, 2010

Day 57 [Good luck ran out]

I got summoned for JURY DUTY! On AUGUST 17th! That means it would interfere with Pat's grad dates of August 25-27 and then our get-away August 28-30 and ALSO us going to the court house to get a marriage license and MARRIED!!! UGHHHHHHH. I feel horrible. I'm so upset. I called and the lady said they'd "defer" me, but I don't want to be at jury duty during Pat's 10 days of leave!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I feel sick. The lady said I had to write about my plans and I added about Uncle Eddie. I don't know if she'll care, or if it even matters but I wrote that I had no faith in our judicial system and I don't feel comfortable being apart of a decision that will change the rest of someone's life whether they are a criminal or not.

Maybe I'll take that part out... I don't know. She said the way the deferral works is if there's another trial, so there could not be one for later and then I can deal with it then. I hate stuff like this! I'm so stressed now!! AND NOT TO MENTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111

last night the confirmation number and invoice for our Cabin at Hocking Hills... was....


omg.... I'm going to freak out.

i need to lay down.

July 20, 2010

Day 50 [I Love Pat Carey]

I want a new layout for this but I can't find any cute Marine/Military layouts =( 
I may have found Pat's grad present! I wanted to get him a Ka-Bar, but Sgt. Grit's are pretty expensive and I know he wants us to go on a get-away before anything else. So, I've been saving money for that. BUTTT, my dad gets BudK Catalogs in the mail and it's full of guy stuff. Like hunting stuff, military stuff, movie stuff, weapons, gadgets, etc etc. SO, while I was looking through it, I found some really sweet knives that are military and their cheaper. So I think I will order one from there. =) I have to watch though, Pat said he def. wanted me to try to get my contacts. Well I feel like the eye infections aren't gone and the doc even told me to use the rest of the medicine because he still saw a little bit. Well I have to keep in mind the contact exam appointment is going to be $80 because my insurance is horrible and then 6 months pair of contacts are $80 too. So I have to get on that and decide if I'm going to do it or not. I also looked into the cabins at Hocking Hills and found some awesome ones. I just don't know though. I feel overwhelmed with all this planning. And I need dad to call about his Marriott Rewards so we can book the rooms and I have to get my car back, which is a whole other problem that got real bad again. I got totally screwed by them. It's costing a little more than half of what I PAID FOR THE CAR, to fix!!! I hope karma kicks them all in the ass. How could you sell a car THAT broken? And the crazy part is they rigged it SO well you would have NEVER known anything was wrong with it. We HAD a mechanic look at it too. Ugh. I'm so done with that crap. I just want my own car and leave all this behind me.

I miss Pat.

July 15, 2010

Day 45 [I stand by my Man]

It's Thursday and I got Sunday's letter today!!! =)=) They just keep getting better and better! And he had two of my questionnaires that he sent back, which was nice. I know what size he wears so I can look into shirts for him. He said Large, but then said maybe M... We'll stick with large. I hope he's not a medium, that might be too thin for me. I like my guy buff =) I think this is one of the best letters yet. Just reading it you can see the love and emotion pouring out of it. It makes me feel really good inside. And makes me think "Ya, that's my guy" ::Sigh:: I can't wait till he gets home. I think it might be bad though! How am I going to go to work and not just want to quit and walk out and go be with him?! Or how am I really going to want to do anything or see anyone else besides, Pat?! I feel it already... we're like magnets already pulling ourselves together and once we finally are, nobody's going to be able to pull us apart!! I'm so excited for our future. There's so much we're going to do and all this stuff he has planned. I finally feel like my life is on track. Or at least I know that I have things I have to prepare for and look forward to. Before I didn't know. I couldn't tell you what my life would be like 6 months down the road. But I feel better now =) It's a great feeling and even better knowing I'll be spending it with him♥

I'm a busy little lady =) Gots things to do!

July 11, 2010

Day 41 [Sunday Funday.. not.]

Well, no letter yesterday. With today(Sunday) that makes 5 in a row. Mrs. Carey hasn't received anything since Father's Day. Which she should have at least received a letter or two. I've heard they were on bed rest at the beginning of the week. And there's a possibility Pat decided to or was mandated to go to medical to get better. I just find it hard to believe since Thursday before the 4th of July, he didn't write one letter. The last  letter I go was from Wednesday the 30th and it came on Tuesday of last week. With all the free time on Sunday the 4th and apparently more free time on Monday because of the 4th and bed rest, I'm sure Pat would have written at least one letter. At least. I hope he's okay. Mrs. Carey hasn't received a call but it's still nerve racking not knowing. Maybe tomorrow I will have letters in the mail box. One of the Mom's got 5 letters yesterday. I understand the mail is very messed up I just don't understand how one could arrive last Tuesday and then nothing? On Sunday's he always writes and I should have gotten that letter(because of the holiday) Friday, at the latest Saturday?? I really believe the Ohio mail system is faulty. Mail is always missing or arriving late. Being sent out late. It's horrible. And now it comes whenever it wants. Unlike years ago when it was literally the same time every day. For years. So how can I not believe mail is constantly getting lost or ruined when it's in transit.

Today is day 8 of 8 at work! Then I'm off for 3. I really don't want to work. I'm just tired and exhausted. And I don't feel good this morning. 

Amanda and I are going to get coffee before I go to work so I should probably go get some things done =) peace.


July 10, 2010

Day 40 [Our 6 and a half year anniversary!]

I remember our first big date. It was our 1/2 year anniversary. Pat wanted to go all out and bought tickets for the Gateway Clipper in Pittsburgh. It was amazing. No, it was magical. We had a really nice time and I will never forget that day. I was so happy! I wish I could relive that day over and over. The second big date was our year anniversary. Pat bought me a beautiful, diamond promise ring. We made the promise to always be together and be faithful and I have been wearing the ring ever since, rarely taking it off. We have had our problems and our fights, but we always learn from them. I know that we can't live without each other. It would be like losing a part of ourselves. We're soul mates and we know it. I don't look at anyone the way I look at Pat. It just deep down, there's that feeling that you know he's the one. Even if I tried, I couldn't love anyone the way I love Pat. It's hard to explain. We've come a long way. We battle our problems and rough times together. It will always come down to me and him against the world. I put him before anyone, even myself. He might not realize that or think I don't, but I do. I do it even when I don't realize. I'm always thinking about him. The last few years have been bumpy, but things are starting to smooth out. We've learned a lot in the last few years and our love is even stronger. Today, our 6 and half year anniversary, is being spent apart. But I know in spirit we're together. I know our love can withstand the distance. It's already been proven in multiple letters and we're strong and we know this is what we want. I want him to know how much I love him and how proud I am of him. I wish we could be together, but maybe we need this to prove to ourselves how strong our bond is. I pray every night for his well being and for God to watch over him. And tonight I pray that he knows how much I do love him and that I will never leave. ♥ I love you Patrick Sean Carey ♥

July 6, 2010

Day 36 [Wishing for a Letter]

So, its 12:11... and the mail is STILL not here! I understand the holiday threw it off, but she still only has the same number off houses to visit as normal, just a few more envelopes for those boxes... so why is it almost 2 hours late? Being impatient makes this so much harder. And on top of that the anxiety is getting to me. =\ Also, I have new stress -- from work.

I looked at the new schedule up yesterday, I only have 25 hours that week. ??? I can't afford to lose my health benefits and I'm a full time worker not part time. I understand it may be a mistake, but she's going to hear about. Its the second time this year and the first time she didn't apologize either. Luckily someone needed a day covered and I ended up getting 39 hours that week. I asked Colleen at work if I could take a day from her on that week. I have bills and with me paying my car out of pocket- that's thousands of dollars... I can't not work full time. I was going to call before I came in and ask her if there was a problem with me or something, I know there's not but she's going to own up to this. She told she'll 'punish' us but cutting our hours. Well, what did I do? I want to fucking know. And if she doesn't let me have Colleen's day, I WILL use my vacay hours and if she doesn't, I'll call the fucking office. I'm so sick of their shit. I feel constantly disrespected, undermined, not wanted. I will tell her flat out if there's a problem, I will gladly transfer to get out of whoever's hair. I can't believe this is happening. I might cry.

I thought I heard the mail truck, but think I'm imagining things. I also should get my stuff from Best Buy today, but the UPS guy hasn't come yet. I don't want to work. I'm on day 3 of 8. This sucks. 

I want my babe home.

July 5, 2010

Day 35 [No mail two days in a row]

It really sucks that there's no mail today (because of the 4th) Maybe tomorrow I'll have 2 letters! Hopefully, I think I would cry if I had to wait till Wednesday for letters! I doubt the guys did anything special for the 4th, maybe extra pt, who knows! But it was a Sunday so maybe they took it easy on them. 

I watched some of Jarhead last night when I went to bed. I want to watch it with Pat when he gets home. I think I'm going to watch it tonight when I get off work. 
I wonder if the UPS and FedEx guys are off today... it would be really cool if I got some of my stuff in the mail today! I think I ordered from 3 different store. Sears, Best Buy, annnddd.... Victoria's Secret. Not having a car sucks and sometimes I find it easier to buy clothes online, even though I can't see them in person. But sometimes I get so frustrated and pissed when I'm in a store and can't find anyyyttthinnng! 
I was thinking about finding a different dress for the graduation then the one I got from Gap. I don't know, I'm not in love with the way it looks on me. 

Wet Seal has these really cute military styled dresses. The blue one also comes in an off-white and has like tie/bow in the back. It also looks like a thicker material. The green one I think is stretch and plain in the back. I think they are really cute. The green one comes in red too (not a bright red). I think I might buy the green one. I wonder how short they are though. Sometimes Wet Seal's dresses and skirts are sooo short. And I don't want to be worried the whole day that my ass is hanging out!
Its so hot in the house. These next three days are supposed to be in the 90s and feels like it today =\ Mom and Dad should put the air on. For sure. I'm gonna go and try to do some stuff

♥ Peace

July 3, 2010

Day 33 [So Bored]

Still no car and it's starting to really suck.

I want to go to the gym.
I need to go to the grocery store.
Mom's at work and I didn't ask her for her car today
(and she doesn't drive her other one, because she doesn't want to put miles on it!)
and Dad's really busy doing stuff with his Corvette,
and his truck is a company truck anyway, so I wouldn't ask to drive it.
And I refuse to talk to the Carey's right now.
They lied and I really don't want to see them anyway.
Ash lives 40 mins away so that's a no go.
... Everyone's either working, out of town, or busy with family stuff. Which is fine,
I just am getting antsy after being home ALL day long. I'm running out of things to do and I really don't want to take a nap. :( And when I get bored I miss Pat even more

and it gets harder and harder to not be depressed! And not to eat. I eat when I'm bored and nothing fills me up. Its horrible. Its like having the constant munchies. Uugghhh...

I did get a letter today though. He apologized for not being able to write as much. He got his name plates he says he keeps looking at them. [They say Carey and US Marines] he says "its so COOL!" haha... I can picture him saying it too and hearing his voice =) I bet he's really proud of himself for getting through phase 1. He said he's now am "aquatic warrior" or "a hazard to an aquatic environment" haha... he also said he's an "iron duck" =) That's my babe! I'm so happy for him. Little nervous for TD24 which I think is next Saturday... it's the gas chamber and rappel tower. =\

I'm almost finished with my letter to him, not much to write about because not much has happened since, last night! I think I'll take a shower and do my hair too.


Obsessed with Picnik. Thanks Ash!

July 2, 2010

Day 32 [The Marine Corps has my bf, but I have his heart]

Okay... well yesterday was a busy day and I wanted to type a letter for Pat and answer all his questions from the letter I got. I was semi-successful. I wasn't able to add pictures to it like he wanted but I told him from now on I would just type them and include a pic every day. (I was putting pics of like jokes or things off of news sites, but I guess he wants more of me!) Well I also decided to take the "shout-out" pics I've been planning, yesterday. It went well. =) I did my hair, makeup, and chose 4 different tops. I had to take them myself because no one was home to but they came out good. Then I picnik'd them, which of course I'll show you in a sec. It was my first time using picnik so I was just getting used to and I was having some trouble on the collage part. The program/site wouldn't let me make the individual pic smaller in it's own box so some of my sheets of paper are cut off. You can still tell what they said though. Pat will get the point.

I was hoping for a letter today but I didn't get one. I should have known. I'm starting to see a pattern in his letters. There's a few days a week he doesn't write or he'll combine the letters, which is fine. I like reading long ones instead of short ones. The short ones leave me wanting more! I got my 2nd Batt. hoodie and my "boyfriend is a marine" shirt(yellow for 2nd batt) in the mail today. I'm excited! Now I don't know what to wear... I got my dress yesterday in the mail, which I like but I'm not sure... maybe if I keep losing weight I'll like it better. It's a black summer dress, empire waist. And it has two sheer layers, which I think makes it look a little bunchy, I guess ?? I dunno... we'll have to see.
I working on getting a bunch of pics picnik'd now so I have them and can just add them when I write letters. I'm going to be really busy with work for 8 days in a row. And I work till midnight like all those days. Plus I HAVE to make time to go to the gym. So either I'll go before, or I'll go when I get off.

Hopefully my car will be done by next Monday. There was some miscommunication between Barry and his mechanics, and some were sick, and he wasn't there last week. They told my Dad the the heads were being sent out then. On this past Monday, Dad called Barry and Barry apologized saying all this stuff, but the HEADS WEREN'T EVEN SENT OUT ON MONDAY!!! :( and with the Holiday weekend... I'm getting royally screwed and I need my car!!! I honestly don't know how I'm getting to work those 8 days in a row. This is horrible. From now one I'm buying brand new!!!


July 1, 2010

Day 31 [love like this...]

Got my a letter today! Its the Sunday one so its 6 pages long! =)=) The first half isn't good, they were hazed sometime last week. Actually the day after the hazing class. [There's no hazing in the Marine Corp] riiigghht... it went on for hours and I won't go into full details, but all the letters I wrote to Pat were ruined. He says he has none and it really bothers him. He's pretty mad and upset. He said he'd read them over and over and saved all of them. I feel horrible. Once you write those letters with all that emotion behind them, you can't rewrite them. You could have seen the feelings and love pouring out of my first few letters, I was having a really hard time and really told Pat how I felt about him and our relationship. I can't get that back because now I'm doing better and I'm excited for when he comes home not freaking that he's gone(although I still do sometimes). I will write him double though to make up for those lost letters =)

I gotta cut it short today, I'll post when I wake up =)