Sleepless in Canfield.

I worked an afternoon shift today, the first in months. And now I don't know what to do with myself. I'm not tired and I want to do something. But everyone's asleep. Lame-o's. Ashley's probably out with her new geek. My mother is no where to be found. Amanda's got a uti or something. And the only other person that I could possibly call right now, is in Tennessee. My life is sweet. If I was still at "our" (pat and my) house, I would probably go for a ride. But at mom's I never feel like leaving after I've gotten home. Plus my luck, the bubble in my tire would bust and then I'd have to call someone for help. Which knowing my family members, they would bitch and leave me on the side of the road until they were "ready" to come get me. Then I would get yelled at by my mother for being out anyway! And we'd go back and forth with "I'm nearly 21 years old!!"'s and "I don't care how old you are you shouldn't be out driving with a bubble in your tire!!!". It would be mildly humorous though. It is actually pretty funny. My younger sister is allowed out 'til whenever. And I, three years older than her, isn't really allowed out 'til whenever. Even though I'm the more responsible one. Makes perfect sense? Its been this way for a while, naturally Ashley is allowed to do whatever she wants and I only get away with a few things. I've grown accustomed to it, that I don't even see getting into an argument with mom about it.

Amanda, get off of Dan and wake up!
Pat fly home from Tennessee!
I wanna DO SOMETHING!!!

And it sucks even more because, today will probably be the only day for a few DAYS, that I'll actually wanna do something. Tomorrow, I won't. Saturday, I won't. And Easter I won't. Besides I work those three days, and I'm drained after work, that its just hard to want to do anything.

This sucks.

Bottled Up Anger?

Lately, I have been super pissed. I'm not usually pissed off and agitated ALL the time. But this has become daily. To almost every hour someone or something pisses me off. And this isn't PMS. But it kinda scares me. I just find myself walking away from the agitator and calming myself down. Like literally telling myself to "calm down, breathe slowly, in and out, in and out..." I never was like that. I never used to come seconds away from freaking out on someone verbally, or worse physically. I constantly want to hit someone. Everyone lately has been stupid. Its like I'm surrounded by fucking idiots, everywhere I go. [ I'm not saying that I think I'm perfect, believe me, I'm getting pissed off at myself also! That's a whole different bitchfest though. ] Everyone's head is up their asses, and apparently they all went deaf and lost their eyesight, and their brains? Well they decided that was last years fad, so they threw them away! I'm serious, everyone acts like they are incompetent. And then gets mad at you for their mistakes. I can't stand people!

And then someone has the nerve to tell me I'm high-strung; That I need to chill out. Well if I wasn't surrounded by morons, incompetent, selfish asses, and I wasn't suffering from near coronaries everytime someone asked me something OBVIOUS, or instructed me to do something I'm ALREADY doing?! Then I wouldn't need to chill out. And I wouldn't freak so easily. I don't want to resort to smoking a blunt every day just so I can chill and deal with stupid people!! Maybe they can just THINK BEFORE THE SPEAK!

[yea, and most of this pertains to people that walk into my place of employment, fellow employees and customers alike.] Truth hurts, huh?