June 1, 2010

Day 1 of 88 [i think] ♥

Well... I cried a little bit last night. And for the second night in a row, I had a nightmare as a fell asleep. It started the other night. As I was falling asleep, I thought there were bugs flying around my head... I could hear the buzzing plain as day. (Like when we were at the farm the other day and all the flies, dragonflies, and bees) And I swear in my sleep I was swatting at them. It was really freaking me out and I was still half awake. Well last night it was similar. I kept jolting half awake because of something. I don't know what's going on. BUT, last week I woke up in a panic, pretty much from a nightmare. I saw a spider on my pillow, like a daddy-long-leg. And literally jumped up and woke pat too (which he was really really irritated and yelled at me) After I made sure there was no sign of a spider, I went back to bed. And had a horrible horrible dream about bugs and cockroaches. It was so weird and creepy. Yuck. What's going on in my head?!?!

Everyone keeps telling me I should work on 'me' while Pat's gone. Its the perfect time to do it. And its what I plan on doing. Work though, is not helping. This week, I work till midnight every night. I was going to go to the Y today, but I really don't want to drive Pat's truck. Its just big and makes me so nervous. Especially when there's more people on the road. I don't mind driving it at night, when traffic has slowed down. But not during the day. Blah. Maybe tomorrow? I am starting my diet. Or I should say, today I'm beginning to watch what I eat. I don't have a lot of money this week or the time to go grocery shopping for diet food. SO... I'm going to 'watch' what I eat. Which means, smaller portions, no fast food, and not eating when I get off work, late at night!

I wish Pat could call me :( I miss him so much. And we tell eachother everything so not knowing what he's doing every day, sucks. I like when he tells me about his day. :( I just want to hug him one last time.

I have so much to do in my room. ttyl.

No comments: