June 6, 2010

Day 6 [real bad.]

I don't know what it is today. But its real bad. And I keep making it worse by thinking of all kinds of other things, too. I think I'm going to make myself sick until I get a letter from him. That has to be what it is. Maybe this week will go fast, real fast.

I went to the Y after work today. I did an elliptical for 30 mins and then walked the track. I didn't keep track of how many times... I was there a while. Just walking and thinking. Then I did the sauna for 10 mins straight. Although that really didn't do anything, I felt good afterward. And my phone started to get hot. I guess Pat was lucky to have the Otterbox on his iPhone. He could go in there for like an hour and nothing would happen to his phone. That's okay, I'm going to use my bluetooth wireless headphones, leave my phone in the locker and go in the sauna that way. I should be able to walk that far away from my phone. We'll test it out sometime this week. I don't know about tomorrow... I work 3 to 11 and I have to find out what the warranty co. is going to do about my car. And I have a bad feeling. So if all that goes bad, I have to deal with it before work. And I don't think I'll have time to go to the Y. Although I do want to :(

I'm trying to keep my mind off of Pat right now. It seems like that's ALL I'm thinking about and to make it worse one of the kids who left before him is graduating in a few days so he has liberty now... and he's been on facebook... and yea I had to read everything and it made me sad and miss Pat more. Then I had to see everyone else's statuses. And they scare me. One was something about going out on in the field for training for ten days... no cell phone. UGH... or others bitch about where they are. And I don't want Pat to hate it... what if he does? UGH. And then another minor problem... all the girls that try to talk to these guys... I don't know how I'm going to deal with that! Just another problem to think about! I'm burying myself!!

I wonder if Pat thinks about me throughout the day? I'd imagine he's to busy to... everyonce in a while I whisper I love you to him, hoping he might hear it♥

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