Day 81 [Crucible is almost over!]

6 more hours and my love will be a United States Marine!!!!!! I can't believe it, I thought this day would never come! And I definitely thought I'd never make it to this day!!! I would like to thank the best family and close friends in the universe for my strength and also all the new friends I have met along the way!!!! All the ladies of Hotel Company and a few USMC gals I have also met! I couldn't do it without you guys. I really thought I wouldn't be able to. It feels good to know as sad as I was when Pat first left, I was able to overcome that and it got better as the days went by! I love you all!

And I especially love Patrick Carey!! I can't live without you and I don't even want to fathom what it would be like if I didn't have you in my life! You deserve this babe and you will make a fine Marine :) I'm so excited to be your wife and spend the rest of my life with you. I can't wait to see you. 4 more days babe. I love you truly. ♥

Semper Fi
[Ooh-Rah]
My ♥ belongs to a United States Marine

Day 79 [Crucible!]

The Crucible started at 2am this morning! Please keep all of Hotel Company and their friends and family in your prayers today! In 42 hours our men will be United States Marines!

1	The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2	He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:          he leadeth me beside the still waters. Rev. 7.17
3	He restoreth my soul:          he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4	Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,          I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5	Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:          thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6	Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:          and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Day 78 [Getting so close!]

How ironic is that, I decided to post exactly 10 days after the last one ;) Maybe 8's my number, or 10?! Lol...


I have been super busy. Which is a good thing. It keeps my mind running and not being depressed. I think that's why I'm not sure where July went!! I really, honestly can not say what I did in the month of July, that is how fast it went. Weird, huh? I remember it being rough sometimes, but honestly it's really like we just skipped the whole month all together! Now these last 8 days... ya they're dragging just a little bit. Nothing to bad, just every once in a while, during the day-- I'm like "Okay, come'on, let's move on. Let the sun go down" lol... I have been a little bothered by something else too. And I don't know what to make of it. I don't know if it's bad or good, or what. I feel like I need to and I want to definitely, cry sometimes. And I can't. Like I literally can not cry. And I feel like it's a horrible thing. I think of Pat and how much I miss him and how I need him, and the tears shouldn't come like they should or like they would have a month ago. Is that bad? I'm always afraid of "forgetting" about Pat. Like waking up one day and totally forgetting the idea of him and everything he is. I feel like its a bad thing I can't cry right now. But maybe it's because I know I'll see him soon ???? I DON'T KNOW! But the worst part is, I don't cry when I read his letters over! I might get teary-eyed, but I don't BALL like I was before. ????? It's frustrating. I just don't know what it means.


Anyway, I've been working a lot. And trying to work on the scrap book. I'm going to take some pics and post them on here. I know I don't get ANY traffic to this site, but eventually maybe I'll get some USMC gals and they'll appreciate the stuff I post. LOL.


I've been hanging with my bestest, Amanda lately. It's been great. Really what I needed and I missed her. We used to be inseparable and then I guess, life happened! LOL, she went to cosmetology school and was working and I was working and dealing with Pat and we just lost touch. But now we're back together and even thinking about getting a place together! I want to move with Pat so BAD because I hate being away from him, but if I had to wait until he was done with schooling and stuff, I would totally move in with Amanda. It would be awesome. Honestly, it probably should have happened a long time ago!! 


=) I'm writing Pat's last letter today I think. That will give him a letter on Monday, or the latest Tuesday, before we see him on Fam Day. He starts the Crucible at 3am tonight/next morning. I'm praying for him. I want him to do great. I don't think he'll give up. He's not that type. But I don't want him to get hurt if he's pushing himself harder than he should. I'm scared. Yes, the Crucible scares me a little. They expect 1-2 casualties every Crucible, what if Pat's that one... I would die. I think he would die. It would be horrible.


I don't mean to cut this short, but when I don't post for days, I tend to ramble in one big post. And then nobody would read it even if I did get traffic =) I have to take a shower though. 


----If any of you girls are going through the Marine Corps stuff, feel free to contact me
jubie2o@gmail.com
I know I'm only at the beginning of our Marine Corps journey, but I have learned A LOT already about the Corps and I want to help other girls. =)----


I love my hero♥

Day 67/88 !!! [Getting close!]

Ahhhh!! We're so close! I can't believe how fast July and now August, have gone compared to June! June was horribly long and dragged out! It sucked so bad. But now I only have 18 days till I'm driving down to SC to see my babe! I can't wait for Family Day. That will be Thursday and it will be the first official day I see Pat. I think it's like 3 or 4 hours with him and he'll show us all around PI and we'll have lunch. I'm not sure if we should bring lunch in a cooler or just stick it out in the lines. I don't know yet. I'm so excited! Our cabin get-away is going to be perfect too! Then on the Monday we get home, we'll get the marriage license and schedule an appointment with a judge!! I can't wait to be married to my other half!! He makes me so happy!


I've gotten a few letters in the last two weeks, more than I though I would. They're supposed to be really busy. Maybe next week I won't get so many ? Idk... but Pat had his wisdom teeth, all 4, removed and they cracked one of the other teeth while they were doing it. He said it hurts really bad but he goes back on admin week to get it fixed. What else has he said? .... He made me something!! I wouldn't say what and he said his materials were limited but I'm going to die when I see it! He said some of the other guys tried to call him gay and make fun of him for making it but he said "You know me, I squashed that shit right away" He said he loves me so much and he doesn't care what people think :) I have the best guy ever. He said a lot of the guys keep asking about our wedding and want to be invited.


I love getting letters from him! They're so nice and I love reading them over and over. =) I have lots to do today (it's my day off) So I better start now, or I'll end up doing nothing all day!


xoxo
♥ I love Patrick!

Day 41 [Sunday Funday.. not.]

Well, no letter yesterday. With today(Sunday) that makes 5 in a row. Mrs. Carey hasn't received anything since Father's Day. Which she should have at least received a letter or two. I've heard they were on bed rest at the beginning of the week. And there's a possibility Pat decided to or was mandated to go to medical to get better. I just find it hard to believe since Thursday before the 4th of July, he didn't write one letter. The last  letter I go was from Wednesday the 30th and it came on Tuesday of last week. With all the free time on Sunday the 4th and apparently more free time on Monday because of the 4th and bed rest, I'm sure Pat would have written at least one letter. At least. I hope he's okay. Mrs. Carey hasn't received a call but it's still nerve racking not knowing. Maybe tomorrow I will have letters in the mail box. One of the Mom's got 5 letters yesterday. I understand the mail is very messed up I just don't understand how one could arrive last Tuesday and then nothing? On Sunday's he always writes and I should have gotten that letter(because of the holiday) Friday, at the latest Saturday?? I really believe the Ohio mail system is faulty. Mail is always missing or arriving late. Being sent out late. It's horrible. And now it comes whenever it wants. Unlike years ago when it was literally the same time every day. For years. So how can I not believe mail is constantly getting lost or ruined when it's in transit.


Today is day 8 of 8 at work! Then I'm off for 3. I really don't want to work. I'm just tired and exhausted. And I don't feel good this morning. 


Amanda and I are going to get coffee before I go to work so I should probably go get some things done =) peace.


i♥pc

Day 35 [No mail two days in a row]

It really sucks that there's no mail today (because of the 4th) Maybe tomorrow I'll have 2 letters! Hopefully, I think I would cry if I had to wait till Wednesday for letters! I doubt the guys did anything special for the 4th, maybe extra pt, who knows! But it was a Sunday so maybe they took it easy on them. 

I watched some of Jarhead last night when I went to bed. I want to watch it with Pat when he gets home. I think I'm going to watch it tonight when I get off work. 
I wonder if the UPS and FedEx guys are off today... it would be really cool if I got some of my stuff in the mail today! I think I ordered from 3 different store. Sears, Best Buy, annnddd.... Victoria's Secret. Not having a car sucks and sometimes I find it easier to buy clothes online, even though I can't see them in person. But sometimes I get so frustrated and pissed when I'm in a store and can't find anyyyttthinnng! 
I was thinking about finding a different dress for the graduation then the one I got from Gap. I don't know, I'm not in love with the way it looks on me. 


Wet Seal has these really cute military styled dresses. The blue one also comes in an off-white and has like tie/bow in the back. It also looks like a thicker material. The green one I think is stretch and plain in the back. I think they are really cute. The green one comes in red too (not a bright red). I think I might buy the green one. I wonder how short they are though. Sometimes Wet Seal's dresses and skirts are sooo short. And I don't want to be worried the whole day that my ass is hanging out!
Its so hot in the house. These next three days are supposed to be in the 90s and feels like it today =\ Mom and Dad should put the air on. For sure. I'm gonna go and try to do some stuff


♥ Peace

Day 33 [So Bored]

Still no car and it's starting to really suck.

I want to go to the gym.
I need to go to the grocery store.
Mom's at work and I didn't ask her for her car today
(and she doesn't drive her other one, because she doesn't want to put miles on it!)
and Dad's really busy doing stuff with his Corvette,
and his truck is a company truck anyway, so I wouldn't ask to drive it.
And I refuse to talk to the Carey's right now.
They lied and I really don't want to see them anyway.
Ash lives 40 mins away so that's a no go.
... Everyone's either working, out of town, or busy with family stuff. Which is fine,
I just am getting antsy after being home ALL day long. I'm running out of things to do and I really don't want to take a nap. :( And when I get bored I miss Pat even more

and it gets harder and harder to not be depressed! And not to eat. I eat when I'm bored and nothing fills me up. Its horrible. Its like having the constant munchies. Uugghhh...

I did get a letter today though. He apologized for not being able to write as much. He got his name plates he says he keeps looking at them. [They say Carey and US Marines] he says "its so COOL!" haha... I can picture him saying it too and hearing his voice =) I bet he's really proud of himself for getting through phase 1. He said he's now am "aquatic warrior" or "a hazard to an aquatic environment" haha... he also said he's an "iron duck" =) That's my babe! I'm so happy for him. Little nervous for TD24 which I think is next Saturday... it's the gas chamber and rappel tower. =\

I'm almost finished with my letter to him, not much to write about because not much has happened since, last night! I think I'll take a shower and do my hair too.

[ILovePat]

Day 32 [The Marine Corps has my bf, but I have his heart]

Okay... well yesterday was a busy day and I wanted to type a letter for Pat and answer all his questions from the letter I got. I was semi-successful. I wasn't able to add pictures to it like he wanted but I told him from now on I would just type them and include a pic every day. (I was putting pics of like jokes or things off of news sites, but I guess he wants more of me!) Well I also decided to take the "shout-out" pics I've been planning, yesterday. It went well. =) I did my hair, makeup, and chose 4 different tops. I had to take them myself because no one was home to but they came out good. Then I picnik'd them, which of course I'll show you in a sec. It was my first time using picnik so I was just getting used to and I was having some trouble on the collage part. The program/site wouldn't let me make the individual pic smaller in it's own box so some of my sheets of paper are cut off. You can still tell what they said though. Pat will get the point.

I was hoping for a letter today but I didn't get one. I should have known. I'm starting to see a pattern in his letters. There's a few days a week he doesn't write or he'll combine the letters, which is fine. I like reading long ones instead of short ones. The short ones leave me wanting more! I got my 2nd Batt. hoodie and my "boyfriend is a marine" shirt(yellow for 2nd batt) in the mail today. I'm excited! Now I don't know what to wear... I got my dress yesterday in the mail, which I like but I'm not sure... maybe if I keep losing weight I'll like it better. It's a black summer dress, empire waist. And it has two sheer layers, which I think makes it look a little bunchy, I guess ?? I dunno... we'll have to see.
I working on getting a bunch of pics picnik'd now so I have them and can just add them when I write letters. I'm going to be really busy with work for 8 days in a row. And I work till midnight like all those days. Plus I HAVE to make time to go to the gym. So either I'll go before, or I'll go when I get off.

Hopefully my car will be done by next Monday. There was some miscommunication between Barry and his mechanics, and some were sick, and he wasn't there last week. They told my Dad the the heads were being sent out then. On this past Monday, Dad called Barry and Barry apologized saying all this stuff, but the HEADS WEREN'T EVEN SENT OUT ON MONDAY!!! :( and with the Holiday weekend... I'm getting royally screwed and I need my car!!! I honestly don't know how I'm getting to work those 8 days in a row. This is horrible. From now one I'm buying brand new!!!

[ILoveYouPat]
xoxo

Day 29 [Love has a curious way of finding its way through oceans and skies; distance is never a barrier.]

Got a letter from Pat today. It was from three days, combined. They were obviously busy last week. Apparently he had pneumonia and didn't tell me. He's doing fine though! He sounds happy and content. He talked about all the pt'ing and obstacle course kicked his ass but he did well. He also told me about what he eats and how he realizes all the things he takes for granted down there. And how he reminisces to himself about me and about all the things were going to do =) It was a nice letter. Swim week started today, and I hope he's doing good. He was nervous about the floating. But Shuler had informed us that its not normal floating. They wear these jackets and they blow them up and they have to float for a few minutes or something and you just keep blowing into the jacket. Pat will be fine, I know it.

On a bad note: I lost Pat's letter from the other day. The REALLY GOOD one =( I had it on the bed shelves the other night because I was going to read it before I fell asleep and decided I was too tired. I left it there, like I always do, and now its missing. I'm really upset because it was the best letter I've received and it had all the things I needed to hear in it. I'm so upset. I don't remember putting it anywhere else and the only other place could have been my gym bag. (I take it to work with me and sometimes I think I'll want to read the letters on break, although I never do) But I really don't remember putting it in there! I'm so pissed at myself. Hopefully it'll turn up.

I have to work today and I don't want to. I think I've been complaining about not wanting to work a lot because its always the same shift. 3 to midnight. And I never get a break from it! Everyone else gets 4-10s, 3-10, 6-2am, but I'm stuck with 3-12s the whole month?? UGH. And then to make matters worse, for whatever reason I was scheduled EIGHT days in a row... they're ALL TILL MIDNIGHT. Really now? What exactly did I do to deserve that. Uhm, I'll tell you. NOTHING. Because I bust my ass at that place and they're lucky they have an employee like me. I'm so pissed. I really hate them.

I'm gonna get ready for work.
[Good luck to the recruits of platoon 2058 on their first day of swim quals!]

Day 23 [♥]

No letter today, second day in a row. =( I know I shouldn't think he's going to be able to write every day, but its hard not to wish for it. It sucks, even though the letters are 4 days behind, still getting one gives me this [false] hope that he's okay. Because if he's fine, he'll write. His last two letters on Monday sounded different, but maybe it was just in my head. He didn't sound upset or sad, or home sick, just different. He does say he's loving it there and thinks he was born for this. I'm so happy and proud of him. I'm glad he's liking it and if he's liking it, I know he's trying his hardest. Hopefully I get my car back soon [crossing my fingers for sometime this week!] As soon as I get it, I'm going to the roadside chapel and lighting a candle for him and the other guys in platoon 2058. =) [Maybe the mailbox will have a surprise for me tomorrow]

Day 22 [I finally figured out the Matrix!]

I'm so excited, I finally figured out the Matrix. I printed it out yesterday and its in calendar form but without dates and I figured out when Pat had arrived at Parris Island and it all adds up so now I can follow him! On the Parris Island forum they put the week up and what the recruits are doing day to day. But I couldn't figure out if those were the current week or the week before but now I got it all figured out. I'm so happy. I saw when the Gas Chamber is, and that makes me a little nervous but I know Pat will over come anything put in his way!

I colored my shout out signs for Pat. I might try to take a few pics before I go to work today. I wrote I love and miss you xoxo, and split it between four papers. So, I'll have four photos then I think I'll put them together instead of sending them separately. He'll like it. And I just got my hair colored so he's going to LOVE the blonde =)

I wanted to update real quick but I gotta go.
I didn't get a letter today, so my day's a little thrown off but there's always tomorrow!!

♥youPat!
--Jessi

Marine Girlfriend Boot Camp Statement

Marine Girlfriend Boot Camp

I feel like I’m in boot camp
Boot Camp for Marine Girlfriends
I’m learning how to become self sufficient
I’m learning my true feelings for my man
I’m learning how to sleep on my own

To not eat, to not sleep, to be deprived of what was “normal living” for me
I’m being questioned and learning how to answer the hardest ones of all.
How do you do it without him?
Why do you put yourself through this?
Why do you stay with him?

My love, my body, and my mind are going through rigorous training.
My heart will face a Crucible
In the end I will come out a Marine Girlfriend
One that knows her duties, commitment, and place in the Marine Corps.

I will learn how to engage in conversation with complete strangers.
I will learn to use and be patient with the United States Post Office.
I will learn how to train my mind, not to break down every second of the day
I will do all of this in 13 weeks, miles away from my man.

And on his graduation day, I too will have accomplished something.
I will have stood behind him and stood there for myself.
I will come out with honor, courage, sacrifice,
and above all commitment to my Marine.

Day 17 [My heart belongs to you]

I got two letters from Pat today!! He wrote that he finally received one of mine! I'm so relieved and happy. He wrote one of his letters on Sunday so he had extra time to write and it was four pages long!! He asked me all kinds of questions and told me about stuff down there.
He has 'portholes' (glasses) but doesn't have to wear them until the rifle range. The first day he wore them, they called him Drew Carey(his last names Carey) and he thought it was funny, but not really LOL. Pat's kind of a clean freak and said they change their cami's every 3 days so he's grossed out by it and they are still using the same bath towel since he got there. Now, if you know Pat, you would know he uses a clean bath towel EVERY time he showers including if he showers twice a day. Needless to say, his house has a million bath towels. Well you can imagine how grossed out he is by having to use the SAME one, for how many weeks now? YEA! haha... he's hating it! He said he's still catching hell because of his weight and when they go to chow, the menu has calories on it so he picks the healthiest. They only pt 3 times a week for two hours and I think that's why he's gaining weight. He says it sucks because he can out run 3/4 of the plt and do more crunches and pullups and does things right, but his senior DI thinks if you "don't have a good body, then you don't care about anything and are a piece of crap". So it doesn't matter how well Pat's doing in anything else. He's still "fat". That's discouraging to me but Pat says he won't let anything break him and he loves it down there. He thinks he was meant for this and really enjoys it. He said none of the name calling, quarter-decking, or messing around with gets to him. I'm happy he's doing good. I was afraid he'd hate it. But luckily he proved me wrong!

He says the whole platoon is sick now and I feel horrible. I would love to send cough drops because he said his throat hurts. I don't know how many are in his plt all together though and you have to send enough for all of them. And I'm not sure I have the money for that and shipping. But maybe? I don't know.

I feel better but I'm still anxious. As soon as I get a letter and read it over about twice, I get anxious for the next one! And what if one doesn't come tomorrow?? I'll be edgy all day today, waiting for tomorrow to come just so I can hear from Pat. Writing letters doesn't seem to curb it either. I just end up wanting to tell him more and then I'll write too much. And I don't want to overwhelm him with useless info. I hate not being able to talk to him!

Sometimes I get this aching for him to be around. I just miss him so much and it'll creep up on me out of nowhere. I'm okay for a while if I'm staying busy, but even that doesn't work all the time. Luckily I can go on that forum and read what other people are doing and it takes my mind off of Pat, for a little.

Today's my day and I know I should go to the Y but I really just want to relax. I don't feel like fighting the traffic or getting dressed, haha.. maybe I'll go...

I♥PC

Day 15 [With the good comes the bad]

I GOT MY FIRST LETTER!!!!!!!! I also got a letter today!!! I was so happy yesterday, I can't even explain. It was the greatest feeling in the world and Pat sounded good!! He even joked! I keep reading the letter over and over :) It makes my day! He wrote about how he thinks about me every second of the day and how much he misses me. And that being down there gives you a different perspective on life. He joked and said "its like hell took a vacation and came here its so hot". He also said its like summer camp from hell but he was enjoying himself. [I miss the sound of his voice]

But... I just went outside and got the second one and its not good. He sounds discouraged but hanging in there. He has gained weight and they won't let him eat less he was told he has to be 186 when he graduates and he was 223 the other day. When he got there he was around 200. He says the senior DI said he might drop him and Pat has no discipline. But he says they only eat 3 times a day and he's sweating like crazy. I cried. I feel so helpless. And of course to make the letter even worse he said that everyone else has been getting called for mail call except for him. That tore my heart apart. I hope he realizes its probably because we live further away then the other guys. I miss him so much. And he doesn't put the date on his letters so not knowing when this weighing happened makes me nervous. I hope he got my letters today.

I feel so helpless. And so bad for him :( I was up all last night because I felt really nervous and sick and anxious. I didn't know why, but this confirmed it.

And on top of all that this past weekend there were 4 motorcycle accidents or something. I heard about 2. 1 was really really really bad and the kid died and I'm not sure about the other ones. WELL... yesterday(Monday) CORY my cousin in Florida was in a really bad motorcycle accident!! I don't have all the detail but he had surgery and is still in the hospital. He was swerving to miss a dog. Today's his birthday. Scary.


I'm going to try to relax.
♥youPat

Be strong now
because things will get better.
It might be stormy now,
but it can't rain forever
♥

Found out from Shuler that Pat isn't doing anything too horrible these first two weeks. Just paperwork and issuing. That kind of makes me feel better. But then I wonder what hell he'll be experiencing next week, and that makes me sad :(