Got a letter from Pat today. It was from three days, combined. They were obviously busy last week. Apparently he had pneumonia and didn't tell me. He's doing fine though! He sounds happy and content. He talked about all the pt'ing and obstacle course kicked his ass but he did well. He also told me about what he eats and how he realizes all the things he takes for granted down there. And how he reminisces to himself about me and about all the things were going to do =) It was a nice letter. Swim week started today, and I hope he's doing good. He was nervous about the floating. But Shuler had informed us that its not normal floating. They wear these jackets and they blow them up and they have to float for a few minutes or something and you just keep blowing into the jacket. Pat will be fine, I know it.
On a bad note: I lost Pat's letter from the other day. The REALLY GOOD one =( I had it on the bed shelves the other night because I was going to read it before I fell asleep and decided I was too tired. I left it there, like I always do, and now its missing. I'm really upset because it was the best letter I've received and it had all the things I needed to hear in it. I'm so upset. I don't remember putting it anywhere else and the only other place could have been my gym bag. (I take it to work with me and sometimes I think I'll want to read the letters on break, although I never do) But I really don't remember putting it in there! I'm so pissed at myself. Hopefully it'll turn up.
I have to work today and I don't want to. I think I've been complaining about not wanting to work a lot because its always the same shift. 3 to midnight. And I never get a break from it! Everyone else gets 4-10s, 3-10, 6-2am, but I'm stuck with 3-12s the whole month?? UGH. And then to make matters worse, for whatever reason I was scheduled EIGHT days in a row... they're ALL TILL MIDNIGHT. Really now? What exactly did I do to deserve that. Uhm, I'll tell you. NOTHING. Because I bust my ass at that place and they're lucky they have an employee like me. I'm so pissed. I really hate them.
I'm gonna get ready for work.
[Good luck to the recruits of platoon 2058 on their first day of swim quals!]
Showing posts with label letter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label letter. Show all posts
June 29, 2010
June 5, 2010
passingtime
I noticed I'm missing a few dvds... :( I'm really upset about this because they were my favorites and I have no idea where they could be! Missing: Tranformers, Twilight, and The 5th Element. And those are just the ones I've noticed so far. The 5th Element was at my house last, I know for sure and its not in here. Transformers was at Pat's and I could only think that maybe Stephen has it because he had my other movies. And Twilight... I don't know... maybe at Pat's ??? I cleaned his room out completely though, and nothing of mine is left in there. So where could they be? Ugh.
So I found out that days off are even harder. Throughout today I have cried three times and I find myself completely empty. Completely lost. I know you might not want to continue to read about this but Pat told me he would read all my posts when he got back. He used to read my blog and not tell me, so I figured since I can't write to him yet, I'll explain how I'm feeling on here. And I just need to tell him. I really hope he gets to write by next week. This is so hard and I just keep thinking about everyone else who's gone to boot camp and has come back. They all were gone for months before they came home for memorial day. Some are still here, some were only here for the weekend. Some didn't get to come home. What am I going to do when its the same for Pat? Go the rest of the year without him? Because that's pretty much what it will be. And I know if I write to him and tell him all that, he'll get scared that I'm going to leave him like last time. --(When we rented a house a few years ago, he traveled with my dad and was gone a lot. And it was hard and I was young and didn't know what I wanted. so we had some problems and I told him I couldn't do it and we were breaking up. It sent him into a downward spiral that was really really bad and he ended up lying to come home from New York to save our relationship and getting fired at the same time)-- So I know what he'll think. He'll freak out and there's nothing he can do about it down there. I don't want to scare him at all, because that's not what would happen. I would not leave him because of this even though I say its hard. I'm just nervous that I won't be able to handle it and need him to tell me it will be okay. Its just how I am. I need to be reassured and deal with it day to day like I am. And some of it is because I feel like I'm not in control with any of this. Its not a normal job where he can say he wants time off and come home. I just needed to vent.
I'm watching Two and a Half Men Season 2 right now and reading College Humor's Guide to College, with Shadow in the room. I miss Harley a lot, but I'm thankful Shadow's still around. Dad's bringing something to eat, I haven't eaten all day and I'm down to 217.8 [Initial weigh in was: 221] That's something to make me smile. But I'm afraid when I do get my appetite back I'll put it back on. And if I don't start going to the Y, I'll never lose this weight. I feel really pressured.
♥youPat.
So I found out that days off are even harder. Throughout today I have cried three times and I find myself completely empty. Completely lost. I know you might not want to continue to read about this but Pat told me he would read all my posts when he got back. He used to read my blog and not tell me, so I figured since I can't write to him yet, I'll explain how I'm feeling on here. And I just need to tell him. I really hope he gets to write by next week. This is so hard and I just keep thinking about everyone else who's gone to boot camp and has come back. They all were gone for months before they came home for memorial day. Some are still here, some were only here for the weekend. Some didn't get to come home. What am I going to do when its the same for Pat? Go the rest of the year without him? Because that's pretty much what it will be. And I know if I write to him and tell him all that, he'll get scared that I'm going to leave him like last time. --(When we rented a house a few years ago, he traveled with my dad and was gone a lot. And it was hard and I was young and didn't know what I wanted. so we had some problems and I told him I couldn't do it and we were breaking up. It sent him into a downward spiral that was really really bad and he ended up lying to come home from New York to save our relationship and getting fired at the same time)-- So I know what he'll think. He'll freak out and there's nothing he can do about it down there. I don't want to scare him at all, because that's not what would happen. I would not leave him because of this even though I say its hard. I'm just nervous that I won't be able to handle it and need him to tell me it will be okay. Its just how I am. I need to be reassured and deal with it day to day like I am. And some of it is because I feel like I'm not in control with any of this. Its not a normal job where he can say he wants time off and come home. I just needed to vent.
I'm watching Two and a Half Men Season 2 right now and reading College Humor's Guide to College, with Shadow in the room. I miss Harley a lot, but I'm thankful Shadow's still around. Dad's bringing something to eat, I haven't eaten all day and I'm down to 217.8 [Initial weigh in was: 221] That's something to make me smile. But I'm afraid when I do get my appetite back I'll put it back on. And if I don't start going to the Y, I'll never lose this weight. I feel really pressured.
♥youPat.
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