June 13, 2011

The worst feeling in the world...

...is to miss a call or a Facebook chat from your husband in Afghanistan. 

And I did today. 
I figured something was up because he never came on last night. I waited and waited and waited. So today I got off work, went to the grocery store and the gas station and came home. Got on the computer and realized the little green dot next to Pat's name at the bottom of my screen. I clicked on the chat box and there were a few chats from him :( He was on this afternoon and I was at work. I think it was right after my 'lunch' break. Ughh. Every time, I don't know what comes over me, but this drowning feeling happens. Knowing I could have talked to him and now I have no idea when the next time will be. It could be weeks. Or worse, months. My heart drops every time.

I miss him so much. It's "deal-able" if I can talk to him. But even then it's still hard. Like when I do get to talk to him and it's only for a few minutes. Then I'm left with this sick, empty, lonely feeling. 

I know I should be happy I even got a few minutes but it leaves you with this hopeless feeling. Like you didn't get to say enough or anything at all. 

:( I hope this depo goes a little faster. It's starting to kill me and it hasn't been that long.

I love you Patrick, till forever. ♥

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