February 11, 2011

if I could live in my dreams...

I haven't been sleeping at night. Which means I haven't had very clear dreams, not like normal. Or they're short and I don't remember them. Some mornings I do wake up and remember, vividly what has happened, though. Last night, I had a dream that wasn't a repeat but the setting was. I think Pat and I buy this house. This amazing, big, beautiful house. He's nowhere in the dream, though. He wasn't in the first one either. The house has furniture from the last owners and it's beautiful furniture. Antique kind of, but in very good shape. Dark mahogany. Intricate designs. Something from years ago that you would keep 'in the family'. They have cleaned almost everything out of these pieces of furniture. (They're bureaus, desks, stands, cabinets, pieces like that) Not everything was cleaned out, like note book papers are folded up still in the drawers or notepads with letters and lists. I go through the house showing my mom every room and every time I walk past the furniture I can't wait to have the house to myself so I can go through it and see what they left inside them. It's strange, but I didn't have a bad feeling about this house. I was in love with it. There were at least 4 bedrooms that I can remember. A den with large mahogany, office furniture that exits out onto a private deck. Off of almost every room is a deck/balcony that I fall in love with every time I walk on to. The way the rooms were built, the size, and the uniqueness is everything I would love in a house. I wish I could print out my dreams and save the blueprints to that house!!! It's my dream house! and I didn't even see all of it! 
The dream was going all good until the end..
My dreams shift from places to places. I was in the house and decided to walk out from the den to the deck. As I walk outside, the outside setting doesn't match the inside of the house. From the outside, you don't see the house you see this kinda like a resort building. Something you would see on a Caribbean resort. Dark wood, circular buildings/bungalows. The only difference is this building is enormous. And there's decks that connect the whole thing. It's very pretty and I would love to stay in a resort like this. In the middle, where the den in 'my' house would be, is the main commercial part of the 'resort' (or whatever this place it). By commercial I mean, each deck (picture a cylinder shaped building with 5 or so floors, that are open and decks circle them and stairs) has a restaurant or shop. Well there's tons of people here. And we're walking around these decks. I don't exactly know where I was heading but basically the deck just abruptly ends. And actually at that point I think I was scaling the side of the building... like on a ledge. Well I'm not alone remind you there were people following me also. But what happens next is crazy. Basically, like I said these floors/decks are open and are restaurants or shops. Well the side I was one, that 'ended' was near a back door. There was a 'back door' on each floor. As I'm standing on this ledge wondering what to do next, while people are laughing and eating and talking all around me, a waitress, steps out backwards through the door. The thing is, even the ledge I'm standing on ends at that door. She's holding plates or something and literally falls to her death right in front of me. Naturally, in my dream I didn't know how high I was up until I watched her fall probably 2 floors or something. I saw her make contact with the ground and people all around us, just stared or screamed. It was sooo weird. I saw someone die! What kind of message is that?! I don't even know what to think. I woke up shortly after this, I ended up walking through 'my' house and my mother was there. I think I felt like I wanted her to leave and packed her stuff maybe ? (There may be truth to this part of the dream. She's visiting and has been here with us in the apartment for a month. In a week we'll both be going back to OH and she isn't coming back with me) 

Ughh... all I know is I wish I could draw the house and all the detail in the rooms. I wish I could draw the floor plans. I want that house.

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