March 9, 2011

Semper Gumby... I can be flexible, but not THAT flexible

Horrible day in our Marine Corps world. It was to be expected, obviously. I'm not stupid and if you have enough pieces you can fit it all together. But the drastic-ness of this is, ignorant. I hoped it was a rumor, knowing that most likely it wasn't. But at least hoping the dates were wrong. Then unofficially it was confirmed by other wives. See, if you're a smart Marine wife, you already have a list of criteria you go by to determine what someone else or even what your husband tells you, is the truth.

For example:
1) The source? Is this someone you can trust? Has good past experiences? Uses their brains before they speak?
2) Taking in to account past situations that are the same. The way a judge or lawyer looks at past cases of the same, and sees how they were dealt with. Do the same with your situation. What happened in the end to someone this was told too.
3) Asking details. What, when, where, why, how? Yes, this is the Marine Corps, no answer is needed. REGARDLESS, I will ask, and I will get answers. 
How did this come about? Who did they hear it from? Was it from a casual or formal conversation? Etc.
4) FB helps with this one. Watching other wives/SOs and what they say on the internet. How they say things. And their emotion. Further creeping on convo's they have with their friends. Some people put it all out there and you can get all the info you need from one single status update.
5) The amount of people that know what you've been told even though, 'officially' it wasn't told to the Marine.
6) Keeping your mouth shut and just gathering information. Do not influence the informant even if you have heard something different.

Afterwards, you must keep calm. Hold your breath, scream, do whatever you need to do until you talk to your Marine. At this point, you take everything in to account but do not make judgement or tell anyone of importance(family) anything. Only after your Marine has been briefed OFFICIALLY(not by eavesdropping, informal conversations, or being told by someone who's rank doesn't make it OFFICIAL) do you tell anyone who needs to be told.

So I'm holding my breath. Of course my mother, who is visiting again, knows. I had to tell her. I tried not to for about an hour. I couldn't sit in the same room as her, while this tension was suffocating me. I needed to get it off my chest. Of course, I told her hopefully it's not true. But we were just discussing the other guys who were told the same and friends of friends, who were told the SAME, in the last week! Its not surprising, like I said, but this is more drastic than the other people's situation, we were talking about. Of course 'I can't say anything'. I hate that. When I hold things in, it eats away at me. I get sick, nervous, frantic, crazy.

I need some valium or SOMETHING TO CALM ME DOWN. 

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