pow! pow!

Mom, Pat, and I went to the Sportsman's Lodge! I was definitely nervous to shoot at first. Infact, it took me around 10 minutes to stop jumping at the sound of every gun shot. But you get used to it very quickly. Mom and I were sharing a Beretta m9 and Pat was shooting a Springfield XD .45. He let me try the .45 and if I had shot with it more, I would have gotten used to it. This being the first time I've ever shot a pistol, I did fairly well. I was happy :) The first 15 minutes, I was anticipating the shot before I even pulled the trigger which told me I was still 'afraid' of the pistol. Almost 90% of the time I was afraid to pull the trigger but I wanted to see if I could shoot the little x in the silhouette. So I was determined to overcome the fear. Besides I can't hurt paper. I know now that it would be hard for me to pull the trigger if I needed to shoot someone. But when am I going to need to shoot someone?! Hopefully my house never gets broken into.
I do want to go to the shooting range now, every week! And Rachel and Kailey want to come too. Keith got Rachel a pistol for their wedding day gift. I think that's so cute! I would love for Pat to buy me one. And I'd probably stick to the girly gun, 9mm. But I think I want to try the .45 again! I'm still 'afraid' of guns though. I can't get the thought out of my head that I'm going to accidentally drop the gun and its going to fire and shoot me or someone. Or that I'm going to fire it and a rogue bullet with a mind of its own is going to go for the nearest human. OR that by some strange act of God, I'll be mentally challenged for a second and have the gun pointed at myself! I know, sounds crazy, but I'm not stupid, I realize what one bullet can do. And when you feel the power, even in a little Beretta 9mm with its smaller sized bullets, its like you're God. You can choose who dies and who doesn't. Provided you're a good shot. Which I'm not a pro. And I think my eyes are royally f'ed up. I know I have astigmatisms in both eyes. Well this old fellar, Marine, was telling us to try not to close one eye. And to aim with both open. I can't see when I do this. Focusing on or past the pistol sights. I tried when I was at home too, with anything. For example, bringing my finger back and forth to my face. No go. I can 'see' my finger but nothing around it or past it. And when I close my eye I still do have problems. My eyes are so messed up and I'm pretty sure with astigmatisms, I don't qualify to have lasik eye surgery. Bummer. I don't want to be blind, and I'm definitely headed that way. My prescriptions for both eyes, changes every couple months. I just got these contacts in August and by November, I was having trouble seeing with them. And my glasses don't help anymore and they were from March.
Ughhh. And I'm putting off going to the doc for my stomach problem. Which is probably a huge mistake but, I  don't mind right now. I just don't want to know.

Pat's asking me to clean his boots for work tomorrow. So I'm gonna make the best of that and watch Step Brothers ;) peacexoxo