January 27, 2010


Every time my phone rings, I hope its you. Every time I say I love you, know it's the truth. Every time we kiss, I never want to stop. And everything I do is the start of the rest of my life with you.

I love you Pat

January 25, 2010

Dear God

Its a rough time for all of us. I'm not asking you to help me. I'm asking you to please help my Uncle. Please give him my strength to stay positive and hopeful in his struggling time. Please let him not give up. I know he's strong but I think it gets harder and harder each time for him. I believe his heart is good and he really will continue to do what he has to even if he doesn't deserve this. Please God.


January 21, 2010

need a fix.

I quit smoking. Again, for the 3rd or so time. We'll see how long this lasts. Honestly this time's probably the worst... I want one SO bad.

Pat finished Army of Two: 40th Day. I spent almost $60 and he finished it in 2 days! I'm still playing Tomb Raider.

I gotta cut it short, Pat just informed me we have to go to the Y immediately. Blah, I don't want to!


January 20, 2010

mini vacation from work!

I'm off from work for FOUR DAYS IN A ROW! :) I'm so happy. Its well deserved and needed! Although last night, before my days off even began on of the kids called me. It was really late though, almost 11. Naturally I didn't even bother listening to the message, I was asleep. Oh well.

I made a ham, egg, and cheese wrap this morning! Its really good. I must say, I am a good cook! I'm continuing to eat healthy but I'm not making much progress. Its probably due to not exercising enough. I keep fluctuating between 2 and 5 pounds, weekly. Its rather upsetting! One week I'll be doing good and then the next week I'll have gained 5 pounds! Hopefully I can control this while Pat's gone. I think it will be a little easier, maybe I'll be less stressed because he'll be away rather than dealing with the stress of "OMG he's going to be gone for THREE MONTHS!" There's a big difference.

I can't remember if I've updated you on my car situation lately. Still haven't received the insurance check. (The holiday may have thrown that off though) and I don't even want to look at cars. Period.

I'm going to do my laundry and play some Army of Two 40th Day and Tomb Raider: Anniversary! And maybe clean up Pat's room and do the dishes for Mrs. Carey.

:D It might actually be a good day!
♥ you all!

January 11, 2010


1) laptop.
2) xbox360

*I need these things asap. Donations are welcomed :)

Today is January 11th, 2010. Today is mine and Pat's six year anniversary. S I X year ANNIVERSARY. Wow, I know. We're not doing anything because we don't have money and frankly, I think Pat forgot or decided NOT to recognize it. Like all the other monthly anniversaries, he doesn't recognize them because "they don't matter". I'm not saying we have to recognize each one, but he could treat me special on that day or we could have a nice dinner... but no. "They don't matter". Well obviously neither does a YEAR, because were not doing anything special AT ALL. He didn't even think to save a FEW DOLLARS and do something NICE. I on the other hand, DID. He has two things arriving in the mail. Yes they are mostly for his birthday, but on the gift message for one of them I did note that I was saying happy anniversary by getting him that. And to make things worse, he has to watch what he eats and constantly be working out so even though today should be OUR day... its not because he has to put the other shit before it. Now mind you, I work the rest of the week. And I would love to be taken out to dinner and to eat a dinner with my boyfriend. I don't care if he has to lose weight, he can eat healthy with me.

I'm so pissed. And he can't and won't make this up for me. He'll be gone for Valentine's Day, my birthday, Easter, uhmm... Ashley's birthday. What else? I know there's other things he will be missing.

I'M SO MAD that you can't even do something nice that DOESN'T cost money! There's TONS of THINGS TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I can bet you a million dollars he will treat me like he always does. Just joking around and irritating me and doing stupid shit. All I ask for is one day when its not ALL ABOUT HIM!

January 8, 2010

mediocre life.

another night in.
doing nothing but relaxing
and NOT liking it.

im so bored and I don't want
to watch tvi don't want to sleep
I'm going to go nuts if I don't have some fun, soon!

and I'm irritated which makes
even worse.

I. h a t e. t h I s.

January 7, 2010

i ♥ winter


I'm so happy! :D Apparently, there's a storm coming later tonight and it looks like it already started! Its not snowing very hard but fast and consistently. Its so pretty. I love the snow!

You know what else I love? SHOPPING! And even better doing it online! There are so many benefits to shopping online! More to select from, better and more deals, its easier! Instead of scrummaging through a store and through tons of racks, I have it all at my fingertips! Even though I shouldn't have I bought some stuff from Victoria's Secret. A girl can never have enough panties and bras! Plus they had a TON of sales! Really good prices. Now I'm at Old Navy looking for something to buy with my Reward Card. :) Shopping solves EVERYTHING!

I finished most of the laundry and have to finish cleaning up Pat's room. It bugs me when its a mess. Its like all the clothes and disorganization, clutters my head! I hate it, it makes me feel out of control and lost. I think I'm going to take a shower though... and then call Pat to come get me and we'll go back the Y. I started up again, going regularly. I feel good. But I don't seem to be losing weight like I should... I think I'm doing something wrong but I can't figure it out. I dunno.


January 6, 2010

its been one of those weeks

Stress consumed this week. If it wasn't one thing it was another. I won't go into details but here's a few key words to the problems. Boyfriend, no car, insurance claim, missed phone calls, exercising, weight, dog, work, test, school, money. I feel like I haven't breathed all week! I wish I could press the skip ahead button and jump to three weeks from now. That would be awesome. On the other hand, I enjoyed ALL the snow we got. It was BEAUTIFUL. Peoples driving was not though. I'm thankful I didn't have to actually drive in it and I'm very thankful for my wonderful boyfriend's big truck. Even though he drives like a complete ass in the bad weather. His truck can almost handle anything, its really nice. Oh yeah, I should probably update you on him. He leaves for bootcamp in February! I'm excited and happy he made it this far, I know its been stressful for him, but at the same time I don't want him to leave. I'll miss him a lot. Three months is a long time away. I'm dreading it... I'll stress about it another time though. (I try not to think about it). Well were having movie night, so I'll be back another time! Peace ♥