February 7, 2008

Too late.

I'm relieved that you understand now. You actually understand what I've been trying to tell you for the last three months. I know you don't understand everything, but you understand enough that I think we can actually start moving on. I know it hurts, it still hurts me. But its different this time. I know I'm not supposed to be with you and I know this in my heart. You know I don't hate you. I never could actually hate you. I don't forgive you for the things you've done, though. No matter how many times you say sorry. And yes, I hold them against you. Even when I know you've changed, I probably still will. Its just hard to believe someone can actually change their ways and habits. Like last time, you didn't do the things you did but the habits were still there. You subsided and hid them. But every once in a while, you would slip and I saw the signs. The habits were coming back. And you can't make excuses and blame it on what you were doing at that point in time. I don't care, I admit that what you were doing does change people, but You could have taken control over it. I did. You didn't see me change.

I'll never forget what we had and I never, never will regret Us. We had our good times, there just was alot of bad times. And it got bad enough, that I realized we're not meant to be. I'll always be in your life, if you want me to. I'll never deny you a friendship. In the end I know you'll always be there for me. Our love isn't just a 'relationship love' its a 'life long' love. No matter what I'll always care about you. I could never not care. We've been through too much. I'll always be here. And I know You will too.

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