When God Created The Military Wife

The Good Lord was creating a model for military wives and was into his sixth day of overtime when an angel appeared. She said, "Lord, you seem to be having a lot of trouble with this one. What’s wrong with the standard model?"

The Lord replied, "Have you seen the specs on this order? She has to be completely independent, possess the qualities of both father and mother, be a perfect hostess to 4 or 40 with an hour’s notice, run on black coffee, handle every emergency imaginable without a manual, be able to carry on cheerfully, even if she is pregnant and has the flu, and she must be willing to move to a new location 10 times in 17 years. And oh yes, she must have six pairs of hands." The angel shook her head, "Six pair of hands? No way!"

The Lord continued, "Don’t worry, we will make other military wives to help her. And we will give her an unusually strong heart so it can swell with pride in her husband’s achievements, sustain the pain of separations, beat soundly when it is overworked and tired, and be large enough to say "I understand" when she doesn’t and say, ‘I love you’ regardless".

"Lord," said the angel, touching his arm gently "Go to bed and get some rest. You can finish this tomorrow". "I can’t stop now", said the Lord "I am so close to creating something unique. Already this model heals herself when she is sick, can put up six unexpected guests for the weekend, wave goodbye to her husband from a depot, pier or runway and understand why it’s important that he leave."

The angel circled the model of the military wife, looked at it closely and sighed, "It looks fine, but it’s too soft". "She might look soft", replied the Lord, "but she has the strength of a lion. You would not believe what she can endure."

Finally, the angel bent over and ran her finger across the cheek of the Lord’s creation. "There’s a leak", she announced. "Something is wrong with the construction. You are trying to put too much into this model."

The Lord appeared offended at the angel’s lack of confidence. "What you see is not a leak", he said, "It’s a tear." "A tear? What is it there for?", asked the angel. The Lord replied, "It’s for joy, sadness, pain, disappointment, loneliness, pride and a dedication to all the values that she and her husband hold dear." "You are a genius!" exclaimed the angel.

The Lord looked puzzled and replied, "I didn’t put it there".

_____________________________________________

This brought a tear to my eye and I had to share. It's so true. I'm so thankful to have my fellow Marine Wives that I have met so far. I guess only a military wife would truly understand this. Love you ladies ♥

Deployment, You suck.

Motomail is finally up. I caught up on writing Pat. Sent a few cards(his year anniversary of being a Marine was June 1st) and letters. And of course now a few motomail letters. I don't think he's received any of it yet. I sent out one of his pkg's too. I know he doesn't care, as long as he gets his essentials. But it bothers me that we have no extra money right now and I can't even finish pkg #2. I had to wait to get $15 to send his first pkg! Blah. Hopefully when depo pay kicks in, I'll be able to send more regularly. But Pat wants me to save a large amount of his depo pay, which is fine but I want to send him stuff! I want to send him treats and things. Someone I know has sent out 7, SEVEN, pkg's already! Granted, they're not married, don't have the house/utlilty bills we do, and she probably doesn't have other bills, but still... it's not cheap to make these pkg's. 


It's a job to stay behind and take care of everything. I normally always handle most of the bills, while Pat does a few, but now for some reason it seems overwhelming. I don't know why. And taking care of the puppy(Norm), who's a BRAT, and the apartment.... and working *luckily* 40 hours a week, is catching up to me. On top of that, I'm not sleeping, and because Pat put us on the waiting list to get on base, I have to deal with that. And because of Norm, it is a pain in the ass. And I will have to deal with the moving/tmo because Pat wants in a house before he gets home. Ughhh. And my sister's wedding... and trying to get home for that and the shower... and all the baby showers coming up! It's one busy year.


I just needed to bitch for a min. I guess it's just starting to annoy me.


On a better note, my bestie is in Myrtle Beach!!!!! Which means they're coming up to Wilmington for a day and I get to see her!!!! I wish she would move down here. I think the perfect guy for her is a Marine and she'd love it here. I know she wants to move now but I'm not sure where she's thinking. I can't wait to catch up with her! I wish we could meet at North Topsail beach but I think they're looking at houses in Wilmington.


Man, I miss Pat.

Time to start a new countdown.

This one I can't post but you better believe I've got it in every calendar I own and the app on my phone! 


Pat made it to Afghanistan safely. He's absolutely miserable and is sick. He sounds exhausted, cranky, and "not there". I feel bad because I know his spirits are broke. And it's hard to stay positive when you feel like death. And he's already heard some bad news about a brother from a different unit. I think he knew him but I'm not sure. But of course that isn't what you want to hear. Especially this early into it. 
I asked him if he was taking pictures for me! He says it's the worst place on earth and there's nothing but sand and weird bugs. Where he's at there are no plants, mountains or anything. I told him to take pictures anyway. I want to travel the world too and right now only he is able to so he can take a few pics for me ;)
I hope he realizes the easiest thing to do it just make the best of his situation. I understand the water is near boiling temperature. And no, Pat would not lie about that, so when you read that there is "cool" water, it's definitely not where wpns company is! He said he can't/won't use the internet because it's NOT free. Like $10 a day I think he said. I told him it is NOT worth it and we'll stick to phone calls for now. The calling card he was given by the USO, he can't use. He could only use ATT calling cards. Also they told us where they are going is a safe area but they will be doing a 'historical' push if they succeed. I've already heard from units near there that, that is not the truth. I get trying to ease our minds but how about just not saying anything, instead of lying. I told Pat and he told me not to listen to anything they say on the facebook page and don't even bother with it. 


Which I'm about to do exactly that. I'm so tired of everyone on there. Most all of the 300some members. And I want to tell them all to just shut the hell up.


I'm so annoyed.


And I miss Pat. And the end of the year is SOOOOO far awayyyyyyyy y y y y y   y   y     y      y          y   


And he better come home safe and in one piece. He knows I will kick his butt if he doesn't.


Love you baby.


♥Jessi[31.1.15.43.59]

Osama - World Hide and Seek Champion 2001-2011

Woke up to a text from my mom that Osama was dead. That's cool. OBAMA didn't kill him! Please remember that! Just because a person of interest died conveniently before an election does not mean that president killed him and should necessarily be re-elected! I hope people educate themselves on the candidates before just randomly choosing our next president. Yes, Donald Trump is unbelievable but educate yourself on his stances and ideas. Same with Obama. GOOGLE WHAT HE PLANS TO DO IF HE IS RE-ELECTED. Then at least you know what your voting for. 


Second, where is the proof that Osama is dead? I know it is fresh news, but I see no proof. And for everyone thanking ONLY the SEALS involved, I've come across a few articles stating that yes the seals were a large contributor but it wasn't all seals. It was a group of troops. And the one person who killed him, may not have been a seal... JUST SAYING(haven't seen any article declaring the one person) The other guys deserve credit too. (AND OBAMA DOESN'T). 


Also, please realize it's not over. But people don't need to run around all debbie-downer and think the world's going to end and its going to be ten times worse now. 


And to the people who don't agree with any of this and are bashing our troops because only "a little over 2000 people died in 9/11 and over 100000 Iraqi's have died because of the US lead invasion to Iraq" You really believe everything you read too? Do you do your research? Do you watch countless documentaries to form this opinion? I GUARANTEE half of you DON'T and shouldn't be bashing anyone. You don't know the truth, you're not over there. My husband, yes may be a Marine, but was not when we invaded any of these countries. He does not deserve to be BASHED. He is getting ready to see combat, but until then he can't even say shit. When he gets back, you can ask him what it's really like and then form an opinion. Don't sit there and bash something you know nothing about and if we didn't have a military that WORKED, we'd be like a third world fucking country. so count you fucking blessings and be happy you live the damn life you do. Thing's can be a lot different. Fuck. You can't change shit over night people.


I needed to vent. 


Just want to through this out there. Osama may have been dead for years. There's documentaries out there with ex-Taliban stating that Osama was extremely sick years ago, liver problems I believe, and died of natural causes. There's MANY docs about former CIA and White House officials ARGUING about intel on Osama and what they saw when they were in, him being DEAD YEARS AGO. Do your research people. And just because the gov't lies to us does not always mean its bad. Would you really want to know every time a meteor was going to impact Earth and destroy us? Supposedly it happens quite often, and we don't know about it ??? JUST SAYING. Look at all possibilities of everything.

pow! pow!

Mom, Pat, and I went to the Sportsman's Lodge! I was definitely nervous to shoot at first. Infact, it took me around 10 minutes to stop jumping at the sound of every gun shot. But you get used to it very quickly. Mom and I were sharing a Beretta m9 and Pat was shooting a Springfield XD .45. He let me try the .45 and if I had shot with it more, I would have gotten used to it. This being the first time I've ever shot a pistol, I did fairly well. I was happy :) The first 15 minutes, I was anticipating the shot before I even pulled the trigger which told me I was still 'afraid' of the pistol. Almost 90% of the time I was afraid to pull the trigger but I wanted to see if I could shoot the little x in the silhouette. So I was determined to overcome the fear. Besides I can't hurt paper. I know now that it would be hard for me to pull the trigger if I needed to shoot someone. But when am I going to need to shoot someone?! Hopefully my house never gets broken into.
I do want to go to the shooting range now, every week! And Rachel and Kailey want to come too. Keith got Rachel a pistol for their wedding day gift. I think that's so cute! I would love for Pat to buy me one. And I'd probably stick to the girly gun, 9mm. But I think I want to try the .45 again! I'm still 'afraid' of guns though. I can't get the thought out of my head that I'm going to accidentally drop the gun and its going to fire and shoot me or someone. Or that I'm going to fire it and a rogue bullet with a mind of its own is going to go for the nearest human. OR that by some strange act of God, I'll be mentally challenged for a second and have the gun pointed at myself! I know, sounds crazy, but I'm not stupid, I realize what one bullet can do. And when you feel the power, even in a little Beretta 9mm with its smaller sized bullets, its like you're God. You can choose who dies and who doesn't. Provided you're a good shot. Which I'm not a pro. And I think my eyes are royally f'ed up. I know I have astigmatisms in both eyes. Well this old fellar, Marine, was telling us to try not to close one eye. And to aim with both open. I can't see when I do this. Focusing on or past the pistol sights. I tried when I was at home too, with anything. For example, bringing my finger back and forth to my face. No go. I can 'see' my finger but nothing around it or past it. And when I close my eye I still do have problems. My eyes are so messed up and I'm pretty sure with astigmatisms, I don't qualify to have lasik eye surgery. Bummer. I don't want to be blind, and I'm definitely headed that way. My prescriptions for both eyes, changes every couple months. I just got these contacts in August and by November, I was having trouble seeing with them. And my glasses don't help anymore and they were from March.
Ughhh. And I'm putting off going to the doc for my stomach problem. Which is probably a huge mistake but, I  don't mind right now. I just don't want to know.

Pat's asking me to clean his boots for work tomorrow. So I'm gonna make the best of that and watch Step Brothers ;) peacexoxo

My YouTube Channel!

Youtube Channel; Slow Wind


Please check out my YouTube channel! I have uploaded new videos of Catherin and Robert and what Marines do in their spare time! 

43 Dayssss!! Ughhhhh

Pat graduates from SOI on November 5th, that's 43 days away!!!! Seems like a lifetime. I hate waiting. I'm so impatient and I'm running out of motivation to stay happy and not depressed. I'm running out of things to do. I need a hobby or something. A serious hobby, one that will keep my busy, possibly make me money, make me feel good, and one I can actually complete and probably would be easiest to repeat. I have ideas. But no money to get anything started. Nor really the time, like if I wanted to start something I may need a class or two for... I work to much for that.


I miss Pat. It sucks that I only have one paycheck before Columbus Day and he gets a 96. I don't have any money though. I owe Dad and my car will be getting done in the next 2 weeks. And the worst part is, I have the days off then, I totally could come up for like a day or two!!! Knowing it's an off base libo too... that would have been nice. We could have checked out the area since he's probably going to be stationed there. Well, I guess it'll be his one time to party with the guys. I'm SURE that's what they will end up doing. I wonder if he will drink... ??

Ahh! Not going to stress myself about wondering what he's going to do being that I'm not there! He goes every day wondering what I'm doing and if I'm partying and etc. Even though he knows damn well I'm not!


:) I love you Pat.


♥

[Day8]

You can keep your Army khaki, 

you can keep your Navy blue, 

I have the world's best fighting man, 

Uncle Sam ever knew. 

His uniform is different, 

the best you've ever seen. 

The German's call him "devil dog" 

his real name's Marine

♥

Day 2 of Pat being in the field. Kinda wish I would have gotten an email or something, but I don't think he took his phone. Which is probably a good thing, he doesn't need to get in trouble and needs to have his full focus on his task at hand. Waiting for Sunday!

Marine Wife Creed

This is MY Marine.
There are many like him,
but this one is mine.
MY Marine is my best friend.
He is my life.
I must master him,
as I must master my own life.
MY Marine, without me is useless. 
Without MY Marine I'm useless. 
SEMPER FI♥
[I love PFC Carey:)]

But it helps me on those lonely nights. It's that one thing that keeps me alive. Knowing that you wait for me. Ever so patiently

Day One:
My babe's on his way to SOI. :'(
[So hard to let him go, but so proud to watch him leave]
I wanted to run after him and not let him go. It's the worst feeling ever. I don't know what to do with myself and I don't feel like doing anything. I just want one more hug and one more kiss. I miss him and it's only been like 3 hours or something. And he's not getting my texts which makes it even worse! I have to email him or FB him, or call him and he doesn't have his voice-mail set up, so there's no point in calling him if he can't pick up. Ugh. I hate saying goodbye. I know I will see him again, eventually, but it sucks having to 'survive' without him until then. I hate not being able to talk to him every day and I hate not waking up next to him. I hate not knowing I'll get to see him after work or knowing I won't be doing anything special with him for how ever long. And then when he does get back, we don't do anything we say we want to do because we'd rather be relaxing, or at least I know he wants to. And then everyone wants to see him so plans get messed up. And there's never enough time for everything.


Every time he leaves, I feel like literally he takes half my heart with him. I'm so sad. I know it will pass in a few days but it sucks. I'm always afraid that when I said good bye, it was the last time I'll ever see him. :'( 


I love you Pat♥ I'll see you soon.


Love,
Mrs. Jessica Ann Carey♥

Day 79 [Crucible!]

The Crucible started at 2am this morning! Please keep all of Hotel Company and their friends and family in your prayers today! In 42 hours our men will be United States Marines!

1	The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want.
2	He maketh me to lie down in green pastures:          he leadeth me beside the still waters. Rev. 7.17
3	He restoreth my soul:          he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.
4	Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,          I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
5	Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies:          thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.
6	Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life:          and I will dwell in the house of the LORD for ever.

Day 78 [Getting so close!]

How ironic is that, I decided to post exactly 10 days after the last one ;) Maybe 8's my number, or 10?! Lol...


I have been super busy. Which is a good thing. It keeps my mind running and not being depressed. I think that's why I'm not sure where July went!! I really, honestly can not say what I did in the month of July, that is how fast it went. Weird, huh? I remember it being rough sometimes, but honestly it's really like we just skipped the whole month all together! Now these last 8 days... ya they're dragging just a little bit. Nothing to bad, just every once in a while, during the day-- I'm like "Okay, come'on, let's move on. Let the sun go down" lol... I have been a little bothered by something else too. And I don't know what to make of it. I don't know if it's bad or good, or what. I feel like I need to and I want to definitely, cry sometimes. And I can't. Like I literally can not cry. And I feel like it's a horrible thing. I think of Pat and how much I miss him and how I need him, and the tears shouldn't come like they should or like they would have a month ago. Is that bad? I'm always afraid of "forgetting" about Pat. Like waking up one day and totally forgetting the idea of him and everything he is. I feel like its a bad thing I can't cry right now. But maybe it's because I know I'll see him soon ???? I DON'T KNOW! But the worst part is, I don't cry when I read his letters over! I might get teary-eyed, but I don't BALL like I was before. ????? It's frustrating. I just don't know what it means.


Anyway, I've been working a lot. And trying to work on the scrap book. I'm going to take some pics and post them on here. I know I don't get ANY traffic to this site, but eventually maybe I'll get some USMC gals and they'll appreciate the stuff I post. LOL.


I've been hanging with my bestest, Amanda lately. It's been great. Really what I needed and I missed her. We used to be inseparable and then I guess, life happened! LOL, she went to cosmetology school and was working and I was working and dealing with Pat and we just lost touch. But now we're back together and even thinking about getting a place together! I want to move with Pat so BAD because I hate being away from him, but if I had to wait until he was done with schooling and stuff, I would totally move in with Amanda. It would be awesome. Honestly, it probably should have happened a long time ago!! 


=) I'm writing Pat's last letter today I think. That will give him a letter on Monday, or the latest Tuesday, before we see him on Fam Day. He starts the Crucible at 3am tonight/next morning. I'm praying for him. I want him to do great. I don't think he'll give up. He's not that type. But I don't want him to get hurt if he's pushing himself harder than he should. I'm scared. Yes, the Crucible scares me a little. They expect 1-2 casualties every Crucible, what if Pat's that one... I would die. I think he would die. It would be horrible.


I don't mean to cut this short, but when I don't post for days, I tend to ramble in one big post. And then nobody would read it even if I did get traffic =) I have to take a shower though. 


----If any of you girls are going through the Marine Corps stuff, feel free to contact me
jubie2o@gmail.com
I know I'm only at the beginning of our Marine Corps journey, but I have learned A LOT already about the Corps and I want to help other girls. =)----


I love my hero♥

Day 60 [Excited to be Mrs. Jessica Ann Carey!!!]

I'm so excited to marry Pat!!! And it's ten times better because he SOOO excited too! It's all he talks about in his letters! I want to put them on here, but I think they're too personal. I read them to my sister (which I love doing, we analyze everything) and I read snippets to other people. I decided to make them their own scrap book for right now. I didn't have anything from before when Pat was a poolee so I can't really do much with all that until graduation and after. So I decided I'll put them in the scrap book and then I'll have them forever! =) I'm so excited to see him. He told me in Sunday's letter that he was going to hate when I go to work and he can't see me, but he knows I have to work =( I wish he wouldn't have told me that because now it's going to be really hard for me to want to go. I would have been better off if he didn't say it LOL. I can't wait though. There's so much I want to do and talk about and I feel like I need to start prepping now!! I want to pack already!!! LOL and I want to get his goodie bag together now, but I'm afraid of the candy/chocolate/etc getting hard or not tasting good. So I'm going to wait till like the week before. (And I have to remember to get the bag for the goodies from Walmart. They have the present bags really cheap)


There's so much going on and so much I need to do. I've become unorganized the past few weeks and it's messing everything up =\ I don;t even know where I am!


Need to figure everything out and get grounded again.


I love Patrick♥

Day 50 [I Love Pat Carey]

I want a new layout for this but I can't find any cute Marine/Military layouts =( 
I may have found Pat's grad present! I wanted to get him a Ka-Bar, but Sgt. Grit's are pretty expensive and I know he wants us to go on a get-away before anything else. So, I've been saving money for that. BUTTT, my dad gets BudK Catalogs in the mail and it's full of guy stuff. Like hunting stuff, military stuff, movie stuff, weapons, gadgets, etc etc. SO, while I was looking through it, I found some really sweet knives that are military and their cheaper. So I think I will order one from there. =) I have to watch though, Pat said he def. wanted me to try to get my contacts. Well I feel like the eye infections aren't gone and the doc even told me to use the rest of the medicine because he still saw a little bit. Well I have to keep in mind the contact exam appointment is going to be $80 because my insurance is horrible and then 6 months pair of contacts are $80 too. So I have to get on that and decide if I'm going to do it or not. I also looked into the cabins at Hocking Hills and found some awesome ones. I just don't know though. I feel overwhelmed with all this planning. And I need dad to call about his Marriott Rewards so we can book the rooms and I have to get my car back, which is a whole other problem that got real bad again. I got totally screwed by them. It's costing a little more than half of what I PAID FOR THE CAR, to fix!!! I hope karma kicks them all in the ass. How could you sell a car THAT broken? And the crazy part is they rigged it SO well you would have NEVER known anything was wrong with it. We HAD a mechanic look at it too. Ugh. I'm so done with that crap. I just want my own car and leave all this behind me.


I miss Pat.
xoxo

Day 33 [So Bored]

Still no car and it's starting to really suck.

I want to go to the gym.
I need to go to the grocery store.
Mom's at work and I didn't ask her for her car today
(and she doesn't drive her other one, because she doesn't want to put miles on it!)
and Dad's really busy doing stuff with his Corvette,
and his truck is a company truck anyway, so I wouldn't ask to drive it.
And I refuse to talk to the Carey's right now.
They lied and I really don't want to see them anyway.
Ash lives 40 mins away so that's a no go.
... Everyone's either working, out of town, or busy with family stuff. Which is fine,
I just am getting antsy after being home ALL day long. I'm running out of things to do and I really don't want to take a nap. :( And when I get bored I miss Pat even more

and it gets harder and harder to not be depressed! And not to eat. I eat when I'm bored and nothing fills me up. Its horrible. Its like having the constant munchies. Uugghhh...

I did get a letter today though. He apologized for not being able to write as much. He got his name plates he says he keeps looking at them. [They say Carey and US Marines] he says "its so COOL!" haha... I can picture him saying it too and hearing his voice =) I bet he's really proud of himself for getting through phase 1. He said he's now am "aquatic warrior" or "a hazard to an aquatic environment" haha... he also said he's an "iron duck" =) That's my babe! I'm so happy for him. Little nervous for TD24 which I think is next Saturday... it's the gas chamber and rappel tower. =\

I'm almost finished with my letter to him, not much to write about because not much has happened since, last night! I think I'll take a shower and do my hair too.

[ILovePat]

Day 32 [The Marine Corps has my bf, but I have his heart]

Okay... well yesterday was a busy day and I wanted to type a letter for Pat and answer all his questions from the letter I got. I was semi-successful. I wasn't able to add pictures to it like he wanted but I told him from now on I would just type them and include a pic every day. (I was putting pics of like jokes or things off of news sites, but I guess he wants more of me!) Well I also decided to take the "shout-out" pics I've been planning, yesterday. It went well. =) I did my hair, makeup, and chose 4 different tops. I had to take them myself because no one was home to but they came out good. Then I picnik'd them, which of course I'll show you in a sec. It was my first time using picnik so I was just getting used to and I was having some trouble on the collage part. The program/site wouldn't let me make the individual pic smaller in it's own box so some of my sheets of paper are cut off. You can still tell what they said though. Pat will get the point.

I was hoping for a letter today but I didn't get one. I should have known. I'm starting to see a pattern in his letters. There's a few days a week he doesn't write or he'll combine the letters, which is fine. I like reading long ones instead of short ones. The short ones leave me wanting more! I got my 2nd Batt. hoodie and my "boyfriend is a marine" shirt(yellow for 2nd batt) in the mail today. I'm excited! Now I don't know what to wear... I got my dress yesterday in the mail, which I like but I'm not sure... maybe if I keep losing weight I'll like it better. It's a black summer dress, empire waist. And it has two sheer layers, which I think makes it look a little bunchy, I guess ?? I dunno... we'll have to see.
I working on getting a bunch of pics picnik'd now so I have them and can just add them when I write letters. I'm going to be really busy with work for 8 days in a row. And I work till midnight like all those days. Plus I HAVE to make time to go to the gym. So either I'll go before, or I'll go when I get off.

Hopefully my car will be done by next Monday. There was some miscommunication between Barry and his mechanics, and some were sick, and he wasn't there last week. They told my Dad the the heads were being sent out then. On this past Monday, Dad called Barry and Barry apologized saying all this stuff, but the HEADS WEREN'T EVEN SENT OUT ON MONDAY!!! :( and with the Holiday weekend... I'm getting royally screwed and I need my car!!! I honestly don't know how I'm getting to work those 8 days in a row. This is horrible. From now one I'm buying brand new!!!

[ILoveYouPat]
xoxo

Day 27 [Love has a curious way of finding its way through oceans and skies; distance is never a barrier]

I missed a few days, but that's okay. Its probably better that way. It meant I was out doing stuff and keeping busy.

I got A letter from Pat yesterday(Saturday). He was 1 out of 5 recruits on the WHOLE island chosen for Presidential Duty. His senior DI told him its a really big deal. He kind of doesn't want it though, he didn't say why. But I know why. He wants to go to Afghanistan and actually be in active war zones. I think he should do the pres thing for a little. I think it would be cool. Pat doesn't understand why he was picked. I was telling Ash maybe because of the strength he's shown(they're impressed by, for his size) and his eagerness to learn and being that he's a bigger guy(muscles), maybe that's what they want. If I was the pres, I wouldn't want scrawny guys protecting me, even if they are Marines, no offense, I just like buff guys with big muscles. =) I think its honorable to be security for the pres. That letter was from like 5 days ago, so I don't know what's happened since. He said he had to go to a presidential screening and take a test. Maybe I'll get a letter tomorrow.

I hate Sundays. They are the worst and I wake up always from a bad night's sleep, with strange dreams, and feeling like crap. And then it turns into the worst feeling ever! That lonely, gut-wrenching, sadness. UGH I hate it! I don't really know why Sundays are like this. I mean, ya there's no mail- but usually that means 2 letters on Monday! And Pat and I never really did anything special on Sundays sooo why do I get this horrible feeling? It makes me not want to do anything and I work 3 to midnight and its truck night. BLAH.

There's some drama that's been going on this past week too. A) haven't gotten my car back, I hope that's not a bad thing considering Luxury Imports never contacted me so now I have to spend $2000 to get it fixed. I would hate for it to be more than that. and B) I'm still having to find rides to/from work or use mom's car (which I hate driving) when she let's me, while Stephen drives Pat's truck around. That I was supposed to have till my car was fixed. That was also supposed to be getting fixed to be sold. That has over 100000 miles on it and I was only driving 4 miles to work and back, but Stephen is driving all over Gods creation! That was to be used by Mr. Carey because "supposedly" his car broke down- that's what Stephen claimed.

I told Pat I love him, but I don't love them.
They have no respect for me and they obviously don't care about me. And then Mrs. C has the nerve to text me and ask me about my car, knowing damn well I don't have it- STEPHEN comes into SHEETZ and sees my car isn't in the DAMN PARKING LOT!!! Then when I say no. She doesn't respond. UGHHHHHH.Pat wrote her telling her Stephen was not to be driving the truck (Pat does own the truck so he can) and he told her this BEFORE he left. I can't be wait to move and be done with everyone in this area!!!!!! (No offense to the people I do like)

I hate family drama.

I have to get a shower and try to relax before work. :\
I love you, Pat♥

Day 23 [♥]

No letter today, second day in a row. =( I know I shouldn't think he's going to be able to write every day, but its hard not to wish for it. It sucks, even though the letters are 4 days behind, still getting one gives me this [false] hope that he's okay. Because if he's fine, he'll write. His last two letters on Monday sounded different, but maybe it was just in my head. He didn't sound upset or sad, or home sick, just different. He does say he's loving it there and thinks he was born for this. I'm so happy and proud of him. I'm glad he's liking it and if he's liking it, I know he's trying his hardest. Hopefully I get my car back soon [crossing my fingers for sometime this week!] As soon as I get it, I'm going to the roadside chapel and lighting a candle for him and the other guys in platoon 2058. =) [Maybe the mailbox will have a surprise for me tomorrow]

Marine Girlfriend Boot Camp Statement

Marine Girlfriend Boot Camp

I feel like I’m in boot camp
Boot Camp for Marine Girlfriends
I’m learning how to become self sufficient
I’m learning my true feelings for my man
I’m learning how to sleep on my own

To not eat, to not sleep, to be deprived of what was “normal living” for me
I’m being questioned and learning how to answer the hardest ones of all.
How do you do it without him?
Why do you put yourself through this?
Why do you stay with him?

My love, my body, and my mind are going through rigorous training.
My heart will face a Crucible
In the end I will come out a Marine Girlfriend
One that knows her duties, commitment, and place in the Marine Corps.

I will learn how to engage in conversation with complete strangers.
I will learn to use and be patient with the United States Post Office.
I will learn how to train my mind, not to break down every second of the day
I will do all of this in 13 weeks, miles away from my man.

And on his graduation day, I too will have accomplished something.
I will have stood behind him and stood there for myself.
I will come out with honor, courage, sacrifice,
and above all commitment to my Marine.

Day 17 [My heart belongs to you]

I got two letters from Pat today!! He wrote that he finally received one of mine! I'm so relieved and happy. He wrote one of his letters on Sunday so he had extra time to write and it was four pages long!! He asked me all kinds of questions and told me about stuff down there.
He has 'portholes' (glasses) but doesn't have to wear them until the rifle range. The first day he wore them, they called him Drew Carey(his last names Carey) and he thought it was funny, but not really LOL. Pat's kind of a clean freak and said they change their cami's every 3 days so he's grossed out by it and they are still using the same bath towel since he got there. Now, if you know Pat, you would know he uses a clean bath towel EVERY time he showers including if he showers twice a day. Needless to say, his house has a million bath towels. Well you can imagine how grossed out he is by having to use the SAME one, for how many weeks now? YEA! haha... he's hating it! He said he's still catching hell because of his weight and when they go to chow, the menu has calories on it so he picks the healthiest. They only pt 3 times a week for two hours and I think that's why he's gaining weight. He says it sucks because he can out run 3/4 of the plt and do more crunches and pullups and does things right, but his senior DI thinks if you "don't have a good body, then you don't care about anything and are a piece of crap". So it doesn't matter how well Pat's doing in anything else. He's still "fat". That's discouraging to me but Pat says he won't let anything break him and he loves it down there. He thinks he was meant for this and really enjoys it. He said none of the name calling, quarter-decking, or messing around with gets to him. I'm happy he's doing good. I was afraid he'd hate it. But luckily he proved me wrong!

He says the whole platoon is sick now and I feel horrible. I would love to send cough drops because he said his throat hurts. I don't know how many are in his plt all together though and you have to send enough for all of them. And I'm not sure I have the money for that and shipping. But maybe? I don't know.

I feel better but I'm still anxious. As soon as I get a letter and read it over about twice, I get anxious for the next one! And what if one doesn't come tomorrow?? I'll be edgy all day today, waiting for tomorrow to come just so I can hear from Pat. Writing letters doesn't seem to curb it either. I just end up wanting to tell him more and then I'll write too much. And I don't want to overwhelm him with useless info. I hate not being able to talk to him!

Sometimes I get this aching for him to be around. I just miss him so much and it'll creep up on me out of nowhere. I'm okay for a while if I'm staying busy, but even that doesn't work all the time. Luckily I can go on that forum and read what other people are doing and it takes my mind off of Pat, for a little.

Today's my day and I know I should go to the Y but I really just want to relax. I don't feel like fighting the traffic or getting dressed, haha.. maybe I'll go...

I♥PC