Almost done with SOI!

We're so close! This time next week I'll be waking up soon to start our drive over night to NC. Amanda (my best friend) will be coming with me and it'll be our first long roadtrip together! I'm so excited. I can't wait to see Pat. I know I'm going to cry. And I know he'll say 'dont cry' and I'll say 'but I'm so happy to see you!' We go through this everytime. :) It sucks missing him but I'm glad I have someone like him to miss. He completes my world and there's so much I love about him. He reminds me how good my life is and how thankful I am that God put us together. I can't wait to move into our own place and spend time together like we used to before boot camp. It seems like its been forever since we've just hung out. The ten days after boot were nothing. We were too busy and too tired. We haven't even been able to "be married".

We've found a handful of houses and condos to check out when we get to NC. And we'll drive around the neighborhoods to get a feel for the area. Then from what everyone's told him, he'll most likely, but possibly not, get the ten days for moving. So I guess we'll come home after the weekend and go from there.

It's very exciting but very stressful. After the last two months, I just want to see and be with my babe. I could care less if we had to live in our car just to be together. All the excitement of moving and where to has worn off. I just want to he in his arms where I belong.

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:) just had the best conversation ever.

I can't even put into words how I feel. I feel amazing :) I feel like I just fell in love all over again. When you can hear and feel the emotion in someone's words, it's very reassuring. Especially when they are miles and miles away from you. I feel so much better now. I don't know why I get so insecure sometimes and let things bother me when I know they aren't true or aren't going to happen! I have a problem of letting what people say get to me. I don't know why I listen to them. I know what my relationship is and what it is based on and everything. Sometimes my thoughts just run wild. I have to remember, girls just want everyone to be miserable like them and bring them down. And are jealous or upset that they don't have what you have. That's why they say the things they do. 

:) Thanks to Audri, Amanda, and Ash. I don't know what I would do without them if they weren't here to help me while Pat's gone. They keep me grounded♥

I love you so much Pat. I can't wait to be in your arms again and have you all to myself:)

Marine Wife Creed

This is MY Marine.
There are many like him,
but this one is mine.
MY Marine is my best friend.
He is my life.
I must master him,
as I must master my own life.
MY Marine, without me is useless. 
Without MY Marine I'm useless. 
SEMPER FI♥
[I love PFC Carey:)]

Day 81 [Crucible is almost over!]

6 more hours and my love will be a United States Marine!!!!!! I can't believe it, I thought this day would never come! And I definitely thought I'd never make it to this day!!! I would like to thank the best family and close friends in the universe for my strength and also all the new friends I have met along the way!!!! All the ladies of Hotel Company and a few USMC gals I have also met! I couldn't do it without you guys. I really thought I wouldn't be able to. It feels good to know as sad as I was when Pat first left, I was able to overcome that and it got better as the days went by! I love you all!

And I especially love Patrick Carey!! I can't live without you and I don't even want to fathom what it would be like if I didn't have you in my life! You deserve this babe and you will make a fine Marine :) I'm so excited to be your wife and spend the rest of my life with you. I can't wait to see you. 4 more days babe. I love you truly. ♥

Semper Fi
[Ooh-Rah]
My ♥ belongs to a United States Marine

Day 45 [I stand by my Man]

It's Thursday and I got Sunday's letter today!!! =)=) They just keep getting better and better! And he had two of my questionnaires that he sent back, which was nice. I know what size he wears so I can look into shirts for him. He said Large, but then said maybe M... We'll stick with large. I hope he's not a medium, that might be too thin for me. I like my guy buff =) I think this is one of the best letters yet. Just reading it you can see the love and emotion pouring out of it. It makes me feel really good inside. And makes me think "Ya, that's my guy" ::Sigh:: I can't wait till he gets home. I think it might be bad though! How am I going to go to work and not just want to quit and walk out and go be with him?! Or how am I really going to want to do anything or see anyone else besides, Pat?! I feel it already... we're like magnets already pulling ourselves together and once we finally are, nobody's going to be able to pull us apart!! I'm so excited for our future. There's so much we're going to do and all this stuff he has planned. I finally feel like my life is on track. Or at least I know that I have things I have to prepare for and look forward to. Before I didn't know. I couldn't tell you what my life would be like 6 months down the road. But I feel better now =) It's a great feeling and even better knowing I'll be spending it with him♥

I'm a busy little lady =) Gots things to do!

xoxo

i♥PC

Day 40 [Our 6 and a half year anniversary!]

I remember our first big date. It was our 1/2 year anniversary. Pat wanted to go all out and bought tickets for the Gateway Clipper in Pittsburgh. It was amazing. No, it was magical. We had a really nice time and I will never forget that day. I was so happy! I wish I could relive that day over and over. The second big date was our year anniversary. Pat bought me a beautiful, diamond promise ring. We made the promise to always be together and be faithful and I have been wearing the ring ever since, rarely taking it off. We have had our problems and our fights, but we always learn from them. I know that we can't live without each other. It would be like losing a part of ourselves. We're soul mates and we know it. I don't look at anyone the way I look at Pat. It just deep down, there's that feeling that you know he's the one. Even if I tried, I couldn't love anyone the way I love Pat. It's hard to explain. We've come a long way. We battle our problems and rough times together. It will always come down to me and him against the world. I put him before anyone, even myself. He might not realize that or think I don't, but I do. I do it even when I don't realize. I'm always thinking about him. The last few years have been bumpy, but things are starting to smooth out. We've learned a lot in the last few years and our love is even stronger. Today, our 6 and half year anniversary, is being spent apart. But I know in spirit we're together. I know our love can withstand the distance. It's already been proven in multiple letters and we're strong and we know this is what we want. I want him to know how much I love him and how proud I am of him. I wish we could be together, but maybe we need this to prove to ourselves how strong our bond is. I pray every night for his well being and for God to watch over him. And tonight I pray that he knows how much I do love him and that I will never leave. ♥ I love you Patrick Sean Carey ♥

Day 24 [The happiest day I've had so far and its all because of a letter]

!!!!!!

The wait was worth it!! Pat's letter that came today was from Sunday. On Sunday's they get more time to write so the letters are always longer and detailed. This one was everything I've ever asked of him and more! He wrote everything I needed to hear and it was amazing! I love him so much and I can't wait tell he's home. I can't even describe the feeling I got when I read this one. It was amazing. ::sigh:: I feel like I'm love struck all over again!! I haven't felt this strongly in love with him for years [remember we've been together 6.5 years next month and we've had our problems] ♥♥♥♥ That rush you get when you see your love, is what I got reading his letter! I'm so happy =) I think I'm going to go read it again!!

Hope everyone's having a good day!
Jessi ♥'s Pat

Marine Girlfriend Boot Camp Statement

Marine Girlfriend Boot Camp

I feel like I’m in boot camp
Boot Camp for Marine Girlfriends
I’m learning how to become self sufficient
I’m learning my true feelings for my man
I’m learning how to sleep on my own

To not eat, to not sleep, to be deprived of what was “normal living” for me
I’m being questioned and learning how to answer the hardest ones of all.
How do you do it without him?
Why do you put yourself through this?
Why do you stay with him?

My love, my body, and my mind are going through rigorous training.
My heart will face a Crucible
In the end I will come out a Marine Girlfriend
One that knows her duties, commitment, and place in the Marine Corps.

I will learn how to engage in conversation with complete strangers.
I will learn to use and be patient with the United States Post Office.
I will learn how to train my mind, not to break down every second of the day
I will do all of this in 13 weeks, miles away from my man.

And on his graduation day, I too will have accomplished something.
I will have stood behind him and stood there for myself.
I will come out with honor, courage, sacrifice,
and above all commitment to my Marine.

Day 3. This is hard.

I think its hard because I know I have to wait so long to hear from him. And its driving me nuts. I just want to know how he's doing okay and that he's hanging in there and doing his best. Its frustrating. Every time I hear a car with a loud exhaust drive by, I think its him coming to pick me up - Even though his truck is sitting in the driveway :( I want summer to go so fast. And you would think this wouldn't be so hard. With my dad traveling since before I was born and Pat traveled with him two years ago too. And Pat was even gone for almost as long twice! But I think it is, because I have to wait to talk to him and I know he's going through hell. In his last voice message he told me to wait for him and that he was doing this for us. That it was the beginning of our lives. I just want him here with me. -- I never dream about Pat, but I started to last night. Nonsense dreams. We were goofing around before something like a basketball game or something weird, some weird place. I don't think it means anything. I think my mind was just trying to visualize him for me. Maybe I'll dream about him more. ♥

thoughts.

SHOPPING LIST:
1) laptop.
2) xbox360

*I need these things asap. Donations are welcomed :)

Today is January 11th, 2010. Today is mine and Pat's six year anniversary. S I X year ANNIVERSARY. Wow, I know. We're not doing anything because we don't have money and frankly, I think Pat forgot or decided NOT to recognize it. Like all the other monthly anniversaries, he doesn't recognize them because "they don't matter". I'm not saying we have to recognize each one, but he could treat me special on that day or we could have a nice dinner... but no. "They don't matter". Well obviously neither does a YEAR, because were not doing anything special AT ALL. He didn't even think to save a FEW DOLLARS and do something NICE. I on the other hand, DID. He has two things arriving in the mail. Yes they are mostly for his birthday, but on the gift message for one of them I did note that I was saying happy anniversary by getting him that. And to make things worse, he has to watch what he eats and constantly be working out so even though today should be OUR day... its not because he has to put the other shit before it. Now mind you, I work the rest of the week. And I would love to be taken out to dinner and to eat a dinner with my boyfriend. I don't care if he has to lose weight, he can eat healthy with me.

I'm so pissed. And he can't and won't make this up for me. He'll be gone for Valentine's Day, my birthday, Easter, uhmm... Ashley's birthday. What else? I know there's other things he will be missing.

I'M SO MAD that you can't even do something nice that DOESN'T cost money! There's TONS of THINGS TO DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I can bet you a million dollars he will treat me like he always does. Just joking around and irritating me and doing stupid shit. All I ask for is one day when its not ALL ABOUT HIM!

Sean Kingston - I'm At War

[Chorus]:
(I'm at war)
Fightin' for the one that I love and the one that I truly need
(I'm at war)
Shawty I take a bullet for you girl cause you mean the world to me
(I'm at war)

[Sean Kingston]:
Me love you girl, you lovin' me
So dont fight together cause it was meant to be
Me feel like, I'm in the army
Cause to be with you, thats where my heart wanna be
It's like I'm about to die just to get with you
Feel like youre putting me through World War II
Got my soldier suit and my Timberland boots
Girl I'm down for whatever cause my love is true
(So I tell her) I'm at war with the love of my life
Sweat from my brows running down to my eyes
Everything you are is what I need in my life (My life, my life)

[Chorus]:
(I'm at war)
Fightin' for the one that I love and the one that I truly need
(I'm at war)
Shawty I take a bullet for you girl cause you mean the world to me
(I'm at war)

(At war, at war, at war, at war, at war. I'm at war)
(At war, at war, at war, at war, at war. I'm at war)

[Lil Wayne]:
Salute to all the veterans
And girl your love's like a nuclear weapon
I'm a five star purple hearter purple sparker camoflauger
Follow my every command and order
You can just call me Captain Carter
So let the missiles rain on your parade
Cause my love is a soldier and my heart is a grenade
(kabloom!)
I'll bomb any platoon, just call me World War Tune

[Chorus]:
(I'm at war)
Fightinn' for the one that I love and the one that I truly need
(I'm at war)
Shawty I take a bullet for you girl cause you mean the world to me
(I'm at war)

[Sean Kingston]:
Your mother said, don't talk to me (No!)
But it went through those ears girl, as I can see
So make me know whats your fantasies
Cause baby girl I think that stands to me
I'm on the front line and Im risking my life
I'll make a sacrifice just to have you by my side
Youre the one I love, youre the one I trust
I'll hurt someone that come between us
(So I tell her) I'm at war with the love of my life
Sweat from my brows running down to my eyes
Everything you are is what I need in my life (My life, my life)

[Chorus]:
(I'm at war)
Fightin' for the one that I love and the one that I truly need
(I'm at war)
Shawty I take a bullet for you girl cause you mean the world to me
(I'm at war)

Chaos

There are not enough words in the dictionary to describe what I am going through inside. These past weeks have been hell and now I come to realize that its been going on for years. There's so much I didn't know and I thought we were good at communicating. So much has been damaged and I don't know if it will ever be right. I have no reassurance and its frustrating. I don't know if it will be okay. I feel like I'm losing my soulmate. My best friend. My only true friend. I can't live my life without him. I'm not prepared to nor do I want to. But nothing seems right. Now we have trust issues and more problems then I think we had before! I don't get it. Love isn't suppose to hurt.

I just want someone to fight for me to stay too.

There's so much I want to do but I feel like I'm not good enough to do it.

"Cater 2 U"

[Verse 1 Beyonce]
Baby I See You Working Hard
I Want To Let You Know I'm Proud,
Let You Know That I Admire What You Do
The More If I Need To Reassure You, My Life Would Be Purposeless Without You (Yeah)
If I Want It (Got It)
When I Ask You (You Provide It)
You Inspire Me To Be Better
You Challenge Me For The Better
Sit Back And Let Me Pour Out My Love Letter

Let Me Help You
Take Off Your Shoes
Untie Your Shoestrings
Take Off Your Cufflinks (Yeah)
What You Want To Eat Boo? (Yeah)
Let Me Feed You
Let Me Run Your Bathwater
Whatever You Desire, I'll Aspire
Sing You A Song
Turn The Game On
I'll Brush Your Hair
Help Put Your Do Rag On
Want A Foot Rub? (Yeah)
You Want A Manicure?
Baby I'm Yours I Want To Cater To You Boy

[Chorus]
Let Me Cater To You
Cause Baby This Is Your Day
Do Anything For My Man
Baby You Blow Me Away
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want Just Let Me Cater To You
Inspire Me From The Heart,
Can't Nothing Tear Us Apart
You're All That I Want In A Man;
I Put My Life In Your Hands
I Got Your Slippers, Your Dinner, Your Dessert, And So Much More
Anything You Want, I Want To Cater To You

[Verse 2 Kelly]
Baby I'm Happy You're Home,
Let Me Hold You In My Arms
I Just Want To Take The Stress Away From You
Making Sure That I'm Doing My Part (Oh)
Boy Is There Something You Need Me To Do (Oh)
If You Want It (I Got It)
Say The Word (I Will Try It)
I Know Whatever I'm Not Fulfilling (Oh)
Another Woman Is Willing (Oh)
I'm Going To Fulfill Your Mind, Body, And Spirit

I Promise You (Promise You)
I'll Keep Myself Up (Oh)
Remain The Same Chick (Yeah)
You Fell In Love With (Yeah)
I'll Keep It Tight, I'll Keep My Figure Right
I'll Keep My Hair Fixed, Keep Rocking The Hottest Outfits
When You Come Home Late Tap Me On My Shoulder, I'll Roll Over
Baby I Heard You, I'm Here To Serve You (I'm Lovin It, I'm Lovin It)
If It's Love You Need, To Give It Is My Joy
All I Want To Do, Is Cater To You Boy

[Chorus]

[Bridge Michelle]
I Want To Give You My Breath, My Strength, My Will To Be Here
That's The Least I Can Do,
Let Me Cater To You
Through The Good (Good)
The Bad (Through The Bad)
The Ups And The Downs (Ups And Downs)
I'll Still Be Here For You
Let Me Cater To You
Cause You're Beautiful (You're Beautiful)
I Love The Way You Are (You Are)
Fulfill Your Every Desire (Desire)
Your Wish Is My Command (Command)
I Want To Cater To My Man
Your Heart (Your Heart)
So Pure Your Love Shines Through(Shines Through)
The Darkness We'll Get Through (So Much)
So Much Of Me Is You (Is You)
I Want To Cater To My Man [Chorus Out]

reading the words that are written.

I finally gave in and surrendered. I decided to buy the book Twilight. I refused to become a part of that fad. But I gave in when I saw the book at KMart. It was like ten bucks or something so I decided, "What the heck". It wasn't bad. I like the story and the characters. And I already knew that Robert Pattinson was playing Edward in the movies, so I had a good picture of what I would want Edward to Look like. (Our little secret: I think Robert Pattinson is absolutely perfect.) The story is easy enough to understand. And there's love, action, regret, sadness, all of it. I thoroughly enjoyed it. On the other hand, I don't like the way Stephanie Meyer writes. She's not as passionate as the authors I normally read from and that was a disappointment. Maybe she wrote it for all different ages to read and understand, but I think it could have been better.

I watched the movie too. Edward♥
I'm also done with the second book, New Moon. I'll talk more about that later.
Gotta go! =) Peace.

lovely love

The Human Touch

'Tis the human touch in this world that counts,
The touch of your hand and mine,
Which means far more to the fainting heart
Than shelter and bread and wine;
For shelter is gone when the night is o'er,
And bread lasts only a day,
But the touch of the hand and the sound of the voice
Sing on in the soul alway.

Spencer Michael Free