Day 27 [Love has a curious way of finding its way through oceans and skies; distance is never a barrier]

I missed a few days, but that's okay. Its probably better that way. It meant I was out doing stuff and keeping busy.

I got A letter from Pat yesterday(Saturday). He was 1 out of 5 recruits on the WHOLE island chosen for Presidential Duty. His senior DI told him its a really big deal. He kind of doesn't want it though, he didn't say why. But I know why. He wants to go to Afghanistan and actually be in active war zones. I think he should do the pres thing for a little. I think it would be cool. Pat doesn't understand why he was picked. I was telling Ash maybe because of the strength he's shown(they're impressed by, for his size) and his eagerness to learn and being that he's a bigger guy(muscles), maybe that's what they want. If I was the pres, I wouldn't want scrawny guys protecting me, even if they are Marines, no offense, I just like buff guys with big muscles. =) I think its honorable to be security for the pres. That letter was from like 5 days ago, so I don't know what's happened since. He said he had to go to a presidential screening and take a test. Maybe I'll get a letter tomorrow.

I hate Sundays. They are the worst and I wake up always from a bad night's sleep, with strange dreams, and feeling like crap. And then it turns into the worst feeling ever! That lonely, gut-wrenching, sadness. UGH I hate it! I don't really know why Sundays are like this. I mean, ya there's no mail- but usually that means 2 letters on Monday! And Pat and I never really did anything special on Sundays sooo why do I get this horrible feeling? It makes me not want to do anything and I work 3 to midnight and its truck night. BLAH.

There's some drama that's been going on this past week too. A) haven't gotten my car back, I hope that's not a bad thing considering Luxury Imports never contacted me so now I have to spend $2000 to get it fixed. I would hate for it to be more than that. and B) I'm still having to find rides to/from work or use mom's car (which I hate driving) when she let's me, while Stephen drives Pat's truck around. That I was supposed to have till my car was fixed. That was also supposed to be getting fixed to be sold. That has over 100000 miles on it and I was only driving 4 miles to work and back, but Stephen is driving all over Gods creation! That was to be used by Mr. Carey because "supposedly" his car broke down- that's what Stephen claimed.

I told Pat I love him, but I don't love them.
They have no respect for me and they obviously don't care about me. And then Mrs. C has the nerve to text me and ask me about my car, knowing damn well I don't have it- STEPHEN comes into SHEETZ and sees my car isn't in the DAMN PARKING LOT!!! Then when I say no. She doesn't respond. UGHHHHHH.Pat wrote her telling her Stephen was not to be driving the truck (Pat does own the truck so he can) and he told her this BEFORE he left. I can't be wait to move and be done with everyone in this area!!!!!! (No offense to the people I do like)

I hate family drama.

I have to get a shower and try to relax before work. :\
I love you, Pat♥

Day 11 ♥

I just got done doing my bills and I feel good about them, for once! I'm starting to pay a few down and I'm so happy I'm making bigger payments. Before I couldn't because of my paycheck being split into two different accounts. But now that I changed that I'm able to actually put a dent in my balances. Its a great feeling. I also counted the exact days I've been smoke free and it has been... 125 days!!! I'm very happy about that also and glad I haven't given into any urges! I didn't get a letter from Pat yet, maybe tomorrow ::crossingfingers!::

I was going to go to the Y before work at 3 but I think I'm going to clean out the inside of Pat's truck. He never got to do it before he left and I don't want his mom thinking I did it when I give it back to her. Which hopefully should be Monday or Tuesday. I probably should get started on that soon, otherwise I know I won't do it :) As much as I want Mom and Ash to come back from Florida, I really like having the house to myself! Its a little lonely at times but its peaceful. When they get home I'm sure I'll go see Ash a lot. Well maybe, driving all the way to Alliance will hurt my gas fund and usually I would get so tired I couldn't drive and Pat would have to-- every time. So I'm not sure about all that but maybe.

I'm going to go get some things done.
i♥pat
--Jessi