pow! pow!

Mom, Pat, and I went to the Sportsman's Lodge! I was definitely nervous to shoot at first. Infact, it took me around 10 minutes to stop jumping at the sound of every gun shot. But you get used to it very quickly. Mom and I were sharing a Beretta m9 and Pat was shooting a Springfield XD .45. He let me try the .45 and if I had shot with it more, I would have gotten used to it. This being the first time I've ever shot a pistol, I did fairly well. I was happy :) The first 15 minutes, I was anticipating the shot before I even pulled the trigger which told me I was still 'afraid' of the pistol. Almost 90% of the time I was afraid to pull the trigger but I wanted to see if I could shoot the little x in the silhouette. So I was determined to overcome the fear. Besides I can't hurt paper. I know now that it would be hard for me to pull the trigger if I needed to shoot someone. But when am I going to need to shoot someone?! Hopefully my house never gets broken into.
I do want to go to the shooting range now, every week! And Rachel and Kailey want to come too. Keith got Rachel a pistol for their wedding day gift. I think that's so cute! I would love for Pat to buy me one. And I'd probably stick to the girly gun, 9mm. But I think I want to try the .45 again! I'm still 'afraid' of guns though. I can't get the thought out of my head that I'm going to accidentally drop the gun and its going to fire and shoot me or someone. Or that I'm going to fire it and a rogue bullet with a mind of its own is going to go for the nearest human. OR that by some strange act of God, I'll be mentally challenged for a second and have the gun pointed at myself! I know, sounds crazy, but I'm not stupid, I realize what one bullet can do. And when you feel the power, even in a little Beretta 9mm with its smaller sized bullets, its like you're God. You can choose who dies and who doesn't. Provided you're a good shot. Which I'm not a pro. And I think my eyes are royally f'ed up. I know I have astigmatisms in both eyes. Well this old fellar, Marine, was telling us to try not to close one eye. And to aim with both open. I can't see when I do this. Focusing on or past the pistol sights. I tried when I was at home too, with anything. For example, bringing my finger back and forth to my face. No go. I can 'see' my finger but nothing around it or past it. And when I close my eye I still do have problems. My eyes are so messed up and I'm pretty sure with astigmatisms, I don't qualify to have lasik eye surgery. Bummer. I don't want to be blind, and I'm definitely headed that way. My prescriptions for both eyes, changes every couple months. I just got these contacts in August and by November, I was having trouble seeing with them. And my glasses don't help anymore and they were from March.
Ughhh. And I'm putting off going to the doc for my stomach problem. Which is probably a huge mistake but, I  don't mind right now. I just don't want to know.

Pat's asking me to clean his boots for work tomorrow. So I'm gonna make the best of that and watch Step Brothers ;) peacexoxo

updates♥

There's so much updating I need to do :) Here's a brief overview:
We're moved into our new apartment in Jacksonville! We're getting tmo soon so we'll be moving all our stuff down here. Which can't come soon enough, we're sleeping on an air mattress and I only have a few pieces of clothing, same with Pat. We got a tv for the living room, so that's good. Now I'm not completely bored. We only have Pat's car at the moment so I can't go anywhere.
Update on my car: IT'S DONE!!! Finally! Butttt, of course my family is crazy and now the agreement my father and I had, has somehow changed. I think my MOTHER got into his head or something. So basically she, who isn't involved, is controlling what's going on. (Being that she and dad, mostly DAD, paid for the bill.) But it was money I had saved up to pay them back so really it was still my money. Ugh, confusing I know. The amount of the bill was over $5000 so when they say BMW is expensive to fix, they're right. But I know it was done right and it was done by a BMW dealership, so it's certified work. So yea, it may be more expensive to fix then say a Chevy, now that's it's fixed, it's like brand new. And some other cars you can't say that for. Plus the new head had really low miles on it as well as my engine, so I'm in good shape. EXCEPT, I found out my MOTHER is driving it?!?!?!?!?! I'm going to kill her I swear. And she's doing it behind my back, having Ash cover her and shit! I could kill her. 
--Then she says I need to get a job(she knows I have debt) understandably. But how can I get to work without a car?! She thinks Pat doesn't need a car to get to base or while he's at 'work'(on base) She's effing retarded. 


And she wants to move down here with us. After everything she's putting me through?! Hell NO! She can move down here on her own, and get her own damn apartment.


Ridiculous.


ANYWAY... back to updating:
love our apartment. It's a 2 bedroom/2 bath, sun room, living room, dining room, walk-in closets, 24-hr laundry center, gym, and business center, pet friendly. surrounding are is awesome. Tons of restaurants, TEXAS ROADHOUSE AND SONIC within a minute down the street!!!! Plazas, tons of stores, hotels, etc etc. There's a park behind us! Although I don't think it has trails or anything like home. But I did find out there is a nature trail down the road from us. So I'll have to check it out soon. The mall is really close. We're like a few minutes from the main gate. The weather is awesome. Sometimes it gets a little chilly, but not bad at all. Other than that, we haven't gone adventuring. :( Maybe since we're not going home for Thanksgiving(home is out of bounds for Pat) we'll do some adventuring during his libo. We're tight on money right now though... the way his pay checks fall and his few bills, it doesn't end up to good for us. Especially at the beginning of the month. Then because I'm not working and I got my last paycheck last week, I have to stay afloat on my bills... but it's going to be tight, probably too tight. And my credit already isn't great- I really can't afford to go default on my bills. But I'm also not going to make Pat's account go negative. It sucks... not sure what we're going to do. [I NEED MY CAR SO I CAN GO WORK!]


Well just wanted to update a little, I should be working on bills and cleaning right now :)


♥yous!