Day 59 [11 Pages of Love]

Well thankfully, I got deferred from jury duty. I almost cried when I listened to the voice message the jury clerk left me. I was so happy. That night though, Dad broke some bad news about my car. I'm getting screwed left and right with the car. Because we waited to tell them to do it (had to make sure I was going to be able to use all the money, mom FREAKED, it's going to cost $4800) someone else bought the head! There's only a few in the US!!!!!!!!! What are the chances of someone needing one really?!? UGHHH. I'm so pissed. Barry said they can't find any. It could be weeks. I don't know what I'm going to do. Dad's coming with us to the graduation which is AWESOME. I'm really happy about that because I was stressing about it. I thought he wouldn't be able to. But now, how am I going to get to Hocking Hills???? I'll have to rent a car and I didn't factor that into anything because it wasn't supposed to ever happen. Now I think I'm going to have to not make big payments on my bills the next two paychecks, so I can save money for a rental car and then there's other things. Gas money, clothes for Pat- he's not going to fit into anything he owns, I have to get contacts, my hair done, nails- maybe ?, food for the cabin, goodie bag for Pat, food in South Carolina, I don't even know what else. I'm sure I'm missing tons of stuff. It's really stressful.


I have to work till midnight tonight, fun fun. I don't feel like doing anything. I've been having weird dreams and not sleeping well...


I dreamt of Pat last night, but I don't remember =(=(

Day 27 [Love has a curious way of finding its way through oceans and skies; distance is never a barrier]

I missed a few days, but that's okay. Its probably better that way. It meant I was out doing stuff and keeping busy.

I got A letter from Pat yesterday(Saturday). He was 1 out of 5 recruits on the WHOLE island chosen for Presidential Duty. His senior DI told him its a really big deal. He kind of doesn't want it though, he didn't say why. But I know why. He wants to go to Afghanistan and actually be in active war zones. I think he should do the pres thing for a little. I think it would be cool. Pat doesn't understand why he was picked. I was telling Ash maybe because of the strength he's shown(they're impressed by, for his size) and his eagerness to learn and being that he's a bigger guy(muscles), maybe that's what they want. If I was the pres, I wouldn't want scrawny guys protecting me, even if they are Marines, no offense, I just like buff guys with big muscles. =) I think its honorable to be security for the pres. That letter was from like 5 days ago, so I don't know what's happened since. He said he had to go to a presidential screening and take a test. Maybe I'll get a letter tomorrow.

I hate Sundays. They are the worst and I wake up always from a bad night's sleep, with strange dreams, and feeling like crap. And then it turns into the worst feeling ever! That lonely, gut-wrenching, sadness. UGH I hate it! I don't really know why Sundays are like this. I mean, ya there's no mail- but usually that means 2 letters on Monday! And Pat and I never really did anything special on Sundays sooo why do I get this horrible feeling? It makes me not want to do anything and I work 3 to midnight and its truck night. BLAH.

There's some drama that's been going on this past week too. A) haven't gotten my car back, I hope that's not a bad thing considering Luxury Imports never contacted me so now I have to spend $2000 to get it fixed. I would hate for it to be more than that. and B) I'm still having to find rides to/from work or use mom's car (which I hate driving) when she let's me, while Stephen drives Pat's truck around. That I was supposed to have till my car was fixed. That was also supposed to be getting fixed to be sold. That has over 100000 miles on it and I was only driving 4 miles to work and back, but Stephen is driving all over Gods creation! That was to be used by Mr. Carey because "supposedly" his car broke down- that's what Stephen claimed.

I told Pat I love him, but I don't love them.
They have no respect for me and they obviously don't care about me. And then Mrs. C has the nerve to text me and ask me about my car, knowing damn well I don't have it- STEPHEN comes into SHEETZ and sees my car isn't in the DAMN PARKING LOT!!! Then when I say no. She doesn't respond. UGHHHHHH.Pat wrote her telling her Stephen was not to be driving the truck (Pat does own the truck so he can) and he told her this BEFORE he left. I can't be wait to move and be done with everyone in this area!!!!!! (No offense to the people I do like)

I hate family drama.

I have to get a shower and try to relax before work. :\
I love you, Pat♥

Staying busy keeps you young!

Busy week:
Monday: Doc appt. at 1145am/Pay car insurance(I go to the office to do this)/walk with Jenn and Tar-ah/Paint toe nails/Gym at 530pm/Intervention Party starting at 900pm in Salem/At some point, do bills

Tuesday: Help Uncle Tommy pay a bill online at YiaYia's (His computer is older and his Internet Explorer it out of date, it can't load most sites)/Leetonia Bike Trail- walk or bike/Gym at 530pm/Walk with Melissa at 700ishpm

Wednesday: Relaxing. Going to go with the flow, what ever comes up, comes up. ((Def gym though!))

Thursday: Work 600am to 300pm/Movie afternoon with Melissa!/Gym at 530pm/Walk with Mel at 700pm/working on resume

Friday: Work 530am to 300pm/Eye appt. 400pm/Gym 530pm/Maybe walk with Mel(Friday's laundry day for her)/Shopping Day {maybe Wal-Mart}/Party in Salem {possibly}

It might not seem like a lot to you guys... but with work in between there and if I'm not sleeping well at night, it'll really takes a tole on me. Not to mention any stress or drama that happens this week. :\ life is life, right?

Drama update:
Wendy transferred to ATown Sheetz (every ones still talking about this)
Kristys Shower/wedding... heard some gossip about this
Sisters friend drives all the way to NCarolina (from Ohio) to pick up a boy, lies to 'rents
MTV MAwards, Eminem fiasco
Cousin has friend move into apartment complex that annoys the eff out of her
Mom has two jobs pending this week, which one does she choose?
Something happened to co-worker... dealing with cheating...
... seems like our lives revolve around drama.

Drama, it'll be the end if you.

Seriously? Is that all we revolve around... drama? I would love for everyone to just get along and love the shit outta eachother for one day. You guys are gonna grow grey hairs and die young if you keep this stress and bullshit up. Life is suppose to be hard and challenging, at times. But mostly we should be learning and living and experiencing friendship/experiencing people!. Having fun and NOT being stressed.
Live your life don't let other people or problems live it for you. Damn.

-- Post From My iPhone

"I like it when he pinch me, so I know I'm not dreamin"

Check Out: Ms. Williams Ms. Williams Music
Her musics and voice are fresh and real. Lovin the remix with R Kelly.

It feels like a perfect October day out today. Its a little chilly for September but feels so nice. I'm more excited for fall then I thought I would be. I dunno why but now I don't care how cold it gets I just want summer to be GONE. Summer was so complicated and a bunch of bullshit. I know the rest of the year is going to be just like this but for some reason I feel a little better now that summer's over. This year has really been bad. Hopefully, soon, all the shit will die down and I could start living my own life, but I doubt it. My life's taking a drastic change and its out of my hands and I'm getting fucked left and right. Its getting pretty bad and there's not much I can do but wait and ride it out. Eventually things will be back to normal, or as normal as they're going to get. I don't know, I just wished all I had to worry about was cooties and boo-boo's again.

Amanda's dying my hair tonight. Its just cheaper if she does it and I want to pay my bills. I don't need to waste $80 when Amanda can do it for $15. I was her model today at school. She got a 100% on the straight cut. Tonight she's going to shape it for me though (I look bad with a straight cut).