waiting on the world to change.

There were a few things I wanted to vent about, but since I decided to wait to write about them, I forgot. Its probably better this way... shouldn't stress over stupid things or things that are out of your hands. Right? But its hard not to when they directly affect you and your future. I hate change. Ugh. Whatever.

Although I should have went with Pat to the Y, I didn't. I need to start going, bad. I quit smoking and gained weight within the first 3 days, I swear! And the lack of exercise doesn't help. I feel overwhelmed with my weight though. And I'm always hungry... which doesn't help! I'm at mom's house though (she's not home, luckily) and I played Wii Sports and started the Wii Fit. I did yoga, stepping, and a ton of balance games. My back hurts a little now, but surprisingly I wasn't hungry after! I think yoga might be what I need! And of course, watching what I eat.

I'm going to take a shower in a few and probably pass out, I'm really tired. (Probably has something to do with staying up late and drinking at Jenn's!) But we had a great time! We played wii over there too. They have more games and one of them had curling!! It was fxcking awesome! And archery- it made me want to go out and shoot bow and arrows for real! And she has the Wii Resort, which has a ton of games on it too! Now I want to play it ALL THE TIME! I think I'm going to have to tell Mom about these ones so she buys them for her!

Well I shouldn't waste anymore time. ♥ luvvyaa.

need a fix.

I quit smoking. Again, for the 3rd or so time. We'll see how long this lasts. Honestly this time's probably the worst... I want one SO bad.

Pat finished Army of Two: 40th Day. I spent almost $60 and he finished it in 2 days! I'm still playing Tomb Raider.

I gotta cut it short, Pat just informed me we have to go to the Y immediately. Blah, I don't want to!

<3

where did summer go?

Its already the Canfield Fair... where did summer go?? I feel like I didn't do much at all and it went SO fast. Every season feels that way anymore. Ever since I realized I wasn't a kid anymore. Ever since then, things have gone down hill. I want to be optimistic. Right now looking back at what I've done and looking into my future, doesn't provide anything to be optimistic about. That light of hope is diminishing and with everything else. Eventually things will turn around, but who knows when that will be. If I had three wishes, one would be to make everything okay tomorrow. The other two wouldn't matter. I just want everything to be OKAY. Be BETTER. Be GOOD again.

Ehh, enough of that. I'm not in the mood to think about my problems.

On a positive note, I quit smoking about a month ago and feel GREAT! I also lost 10 pounds! Which for anyone who forgot, I'm losing weight to join the Marines! I did talk to the Navy also... they have all the medical jobs/fields. And I would rather do something medical. But I'm not sure the Navy is what I really want. I really want to push myself and put myself through something that will show me what I am capable of and make me happy. The Marines can do that. And Sgt. Petronio was assigned me(even though he's at the Salem office and I'm from Canfield) but he's awesome! I love him and I barely know him! He makes me motivated and is very encouraging! I don't think he even knows it lol.

I'm debating on whether to go to the Hookah Bar with Bobbi and Wendy. I have to work tomorrow and I'm really tired. But I really want to go out with them. Maybe I'll go out for like a half hour.

I better go get ready then. Peace out.