sweet dreamin' tonight [xoxo]

I got to talk to the hubby today :) nice surprise since I usually only get to on the weekends. I almost didn't get to because I figured he wouldn't call so I went to email him on the big computer and left my phone in my room. I would have died if he couldn't pick the phone up when I called. Just the sound of his voice makes everything okay... And when he tells me everything will be okay- it's like I have no worries in the world. Like he took all the weight off my shoulders. He's said the sweetest things to me this whole week. I still can't believe it. He's everything I've ever wanted him to be and he's miles and miles away. I can't wait to be with him again. It'll be like I'm in heaven. (: This is what dreams are supposed to be like! But its my reality! ♥ I love you Mr Patrick Carey!

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Day 21 of SOI ♥♥

Be my shelter from the warmth // my shield of armor in danger // my companion from loneliness // my sense from delusion // my dream from reality // be my everything

Pat has made this so much easier. At first it was rough like boot camp. But he's made it easier just by the things he says. He makes me feel wanted, needed, and loved. For a while before(long before boot camp), I thought I lost all that. I thought he didn't need me. That he didn't need me to survive. I've come to realize that I didn't lose him and it is okay to be dependent without relying on the other person. I still feel like I need him to live but I know I can survive (kinda) on my own. Or at least it's bearable because I know I will see him in the end. So I force myself to be okay with out him. But as soon as he's with me, you better believe my world is revolving around him again =) to a point... ♥

I can't wait to see my babe! I'm gonna hug him like a little girl hugs her favorite stuffed bear and never let go! I miss him like crazy but I'm so excited to see him again. I can't wait. I feel like we start fresh every time we see each other and the little spark of excitement and rush runs through me, all over again. That feeling you get when you've fallen in love... I get to feel that over and over!

43 Dayssss!! Ughhhhh

Pat graduates from SOI on November 5th, that's 43 days away!!!! Seems like a lifetime. I hate waiting. I'm so impatient and I'm running out of motivation to stay happy and not depressed. I'm running out of things to do. I need a hobby or something. A serious hobby, one that will keep my busy, possibly make me money, make me feel good, and one I can actually complete and probably would be easiest to repeat. I have ideas. But no money to get anything started. Nor really the time, like if I wanted to start something I may need a class or two for... I work to much for that.


I miss Pat. It sucks that I only have one paycheck before Columbus Day and he gets a 96. I don't have any money though. I owe Dad and my car will be getting done in the next 2 weeks. And the worst part is, I have the days off then, I totally could come up for like a day or two!!! Knowing it's an off base libo too... that would have been nice. We could have checked out the area since he's probably going to be stationed there. Well, I guess it'll be his one time to party with the guys. I'm SURE that's what they will end up doing. I wonder if he will drink... ??

Ahh! Not going to stress myself about wondering what he's going to do being that I'm not there! He goes every day wondering what I'm doing and if I'm partying and etc. Even though he knows damn well I'm not!


:) I love you Pat.


♥