movie night; unsuccessful

Pat feel asleep about an hour into the first movie. That's no fun. Mom and I did watch both Paranormal Activity 1 and 2 but it's not fun without Pat. Maybe tomorrow will be better. I know he's so tired though. His unit is retarded and he has to report early, earlier than most, and stay well after most. This is an every day thing. Not once in a while... and it sucks to hear other wives brag about what time their Marine gets off. Whatever. He needs his rest though, training for the next month is going to suck for him.

I realized that I can't sleep unless I drink. I think that's bad... I don't have the urge to drink but I want to sleep so bad! I can't turn my brain off though. This sucks.

I think when I get back from visiting home, and Pat's gone, I'm going to advertise myself as a baby sitter and start there instead of applying places. Just a thought.

Pat woke up and is like a zombie walking from the living room floor to the bedroom ;) I better get off of here. Night♥

"I never fucked anybody over in my life, that didn't have it comin' to 'em, you go that?"

I finished reading Clive Cussler's "Cyclops", A Dirk Pitt Adventure. Amazing. I was so excited from the minute I read the first page til the last one. It was so fast paced and a real adventure. It was nice to escape from this hell into that kind of book. It really helped me. Now I'm escaping into Alton Gansky's "A Ship Possessed". Its another military type book but has twists and turns like Cusslers and keeps you on your toes and wondering what will happen next. Its a story with religious/faith undertones and dealing with the unknown and supernatural. I'm enjoying it. And I like these books so much, I'm going to try to find more from these two authors.

I find myself escaping to books and trying to keep my mind occupied. So that I don't return to the thoughts of the real world. And to hide from what's going on. Is that wrong? I just need a break sometimes. I used to forget about the problems through out the day. But now they are ALWAYS there. Always creeping up on me and out of the blue throwing me into a downward spiral. I feel trapped like I can't get away from anything! The only time I can, is when I get fucked up or read. And I would honestly rather read right now. I don't feel in control anymore. I don't know what would happen if I was too fucked up. Ahhh... I don't know. If you know any good books... amazing ones. Send me a message. I need to find something to keep my mind from wondering when those times come around. Ya know what I mean?

<3Jayy.