kick start!

Mom got me a gym membership at Astre today for my birthday! Very excited. Its perfect! They have two pools, a whirl pool, weight room, free weights, classes, ellipticals, steppers, bikes, and so much more! We went today and did an hour. Its great to have help from my mom. She's very motivating and I know she'll go every day with me! And of course I'll go myself. I need to get in shape! I think I've let it go long enough and I don't want health problems. (And I'm still contemplating the Marines... or maybe the Navy.) I don't know yet. I just want out of OHIO. =)

My 22nd birthday weekend was AWESOME! Too much drinking though. (Gotta work double time at the gym!) We had a bonfire the family dinner Wednesday (before Dad left) at the Ice House... 40 cent wings! Friday, bonfire at the house with Ash, Jay, Pat, Andre, Mel, and Mom. Saturday, Twilight afternoon with Mel! and then to Relic's show at the Cellar with Wendy, Mike, Mel, Pat, Mom, Amanda, and her sister Rachel. Then Sunday we had the cookout at the house. Mel and Mike brought Sebastian! And they got me a cake =) My 22nd years have been up and down, sad and happy, brutal at times... but there are so many memories. We reminisced at the bonfire it was really entertaining! Hopefully there will be tons more, with old and new friends and family!

I also had my doctor appointment this morning. My surgery is the 18th of May. Crossing out fingers that its benign, not a tumor and just a sebaceous cyst! There's a small chance it could be bad... and when you push on it it feels like it runs down into my back which could be a tumor and not a cyst. I'll take it as it comes, though. No worries!!

Watching Intervention and gotta take a shower! Work in the AM!
Love all!

Gone baby gone

I'm moving into the apartment!! Finally my own place, again! It's going to be soooooo nice! It's a little further from work but not too bad. I can't wait! Mom will stop over still, which sucks, but I'll get over it.

We went to The Ice House for 40cent wings. I'm so stuffed. And the beer didn't help. blah. I'm so tired too. I'm always tired, maybe there's something wrong with me. I feel like an old lady!! And I hurt like one too. My back, heels, my effing eyes. Everything! I've never felt this shitty. Mom better get here soon so we can leave.

I'm going to take a nap.
Happy earth day!

Pathetic. But I can't seem to let it go

I wish things didn't bother me so much. I always let them get to me and I shouldn't. Even when I know these things are going to happen or change... I let it bug me like I had no idea. It's hard to deal with. This stuff is hard to deal with. Life sucks. And it's not that its unfair... I just think I put too much faith in people that don't care. Or I always think people are good at heart and will make unselfish decisions ??? I don't know. I don't know how people can be so mean, forgetting, selfish, greedy, uncaring... All if that. I don't get it. And I hate not knowing.

You can't trust anyone but yourself. And maybe that will never change

Going to bed to sleep it off
Hopefully.