"Good morning texts, kisses on the forehead, really long goodbyes, holding hands, silence that isn't awkward. Waking up beside you..."

♥ Pat's finally leaving for bootcamp! Its bittersweet and quite stressing. They really toyed with him. Telling him he was leaving in a week, then on Monday telling him he couldn't until the second week of May. Then on Thursday, telling him he's leaving Sunday. THEN, one more time!, telling him not Sunday, but Monday he'd be going to Cleveland and leaving on Tuesday. It kind of makes you think that our government isn't that well organized, dependable, truthful, or moral... We'll see what happens on Monday.

My birthday is this month, the 24th :) Nothing special, as usual though. I won't be doing anything. Annette gave me the day off(her anniversary is the same day, so she always remembers my bday) but I work the day before and the day after. (In the morning) So no, I won't be partying. As much as I would love too and need to have a good time, I'm still too stressed and have no money and don't need to put on anymore empty calories. And to top it off, Pat won't be here anyway. And he really is the only one that makes me happy. I'm not going to sit here and lie. I love my family and few good friends I have but, without Pat my world isn't complete and it always feels like something is missing when he's not around.

We have so much to do before Pat leaves and there's not enough time! I have to get all my stuff out of his house and we have to move the tv and surround sound. I'm not sure if I'm going to have him hook it up anywhere in Mom's house yet... Also I have the stress of my car, which I will post about later when I have more time. Its ridiculous and hard to believe that it actually happened to me! Its just insane and it better all work out or I'm royally screwed. I still can't get over it, I keep hoping I'm just going to wake up from this bad nightmare!

I need to get a laptop, I hate doing my bills on my phone and I just refuse to blog on it too. Its too hard or annoying. I have no money(that I can use) and its frustrating. And even if I did save money, can't use that either! It has to go to bills. I gg

United States of Unjustice. A hypocrisy compiled on lies and greed.

Our judicial system is rediculous and I have nothing good to say about it at all. How can I when its fueled by greed, lies, and selfishness? I begin to think that maybe there is no God out there watching over us and maybe we are in full control. I think our God gave up on us a long time ago. I would. We are selfish beings. Only out to make ourselves feel good. Justice is brought to ourselves, even when we say we are doing it for the victim. Its not for them though. Its for us. So we can live with what happened. So we don't suffer. Because when we really think about it, they did get the easy way out. We are the ones stuck here with the pain, remorse, revenge. We need to see someone else pay. That person must pay for what they did, even if they aren't TRIED FAIRLY! It doesn't matter. Someone MUST pay! And while we are at it, in our selfish mind, we decide to take it one step further. Make their families pay. Whether they are innocent or not. Make their families affected by this. Why? Because we need justice, right? It doesn't matter if we know we are just pinning the blame on someone. We don't care about the other people in that person's life. Or the people that will come years and years later. Right, you are doing a selfless act by finding justice for your victim. Right. I understand. If something was taken from you, you have to take something from someone else. Yeah... greed makes sense. Our country wasn't built on these virtues. What kind of people did we become? What kind of people are we? Is it right for this to go on... we live in a distorted world. Nothing is true, nothing is just. There is no black and white. There is only us, surrounded by lies, whispering in our ears.

birthday wishes

its a little early, but my birthday is next month and I have a wish list :)
1) new laptop
2) new camera
3) money $$
4) my baby to spend it with me :( he'll be in bootcamp tho.
5) ps3

wishful thinkinq.
xoxo