March 25, 2010

United States of Unjustice. A hypocrisy compiled on lies and greed.

Our judicial system is rediculous and I have nothing good to say about it at all. How can I when its fueled by greed, lies, and selfishness? I begin to think that maybe there is no God out there watching over us and maybe we are in full control. I think our God gave up on us a long time ago. I would. We are selfish beings. Only out to make ourselves feel good. Justice is brought to ourselves, even when we say we are doing it for the victim. Its not for them though. Its for us. So we can live with what happened. So we don't suffer. Because when we really think about it, they did get the easy way out. We are the ones stuck here with the pain, remorse, revenge. We need to see someone else pay. That person must pay for what they did, even if they aren't TRIED FAIRLY! It doesn't matter. Someone MUST pay! And while we are at it, in our selfish mind, we decide to take it one step further. Make their families pay. Whether they are innocent or not. Make their families affected by this. Why? Because we need justice, right? It doesn't matter if we know we are just pinning the blame on someone. We don't care about the other people in that person's life. Or the people that will come years and years later. Right, you are doing a selfless act by finding justice for your victim. Right. I understand. If something was taken from you, you have to take something from someone else. Yeah... greed makes sense. Our country wasn't built on these virtues. What kind of people did we become? What kind of people are we? Is it right for this to go on... we live in a distorted world. Nothing is true, nothing is just. There is no black and white. There is only us, surrounded by lies, whispering in our ears.

March 24, 2010

birthday wishes

its a little early, but my birthday is next month and I have a wish list :)
1) new laptop
2) new camera
3) money $$
4) my baby to spend it with me :( he'll be in bootcamp tho.
5) ps3

wishful thinkinq.

March 23, 2010

I pledge...

"I pledge no allegiance to the flag of the undeniable mistakes of America, which to the plutocracy for which it stands so many nations and their gods have become invisible, with liberty and justice reserved for a precious chosen few. Let our allegiances lie with those betrayed by the facade for the calm is an illusion..."

March 11, 2010

breaking bond

the bond they say you'll have with all of them bothers me. they say other people don't understand it unless they were one. I don't like knowing you'll have a bond ill never be apart of. a bond that might be stronger and more important than the bond we have... or once had. that now I'm not the only one you have to look out for. I don't want to share you. I know that's selfish. I dont want others to be as important as me. I wish I knew more about what you were getting into because I wouldn't have said 'do it'.

I hate this.
I feel like our bond is breaking because of all this.

March 10, 2010

One step closer...

Ash called me and asked if I had heard about Obama... Naturally I hadn't (I don't listen to the radio nor have I watched the news today). She told me Obama had banned fishing. Fishing? Really? Apparently they were talking about it on the radio and informed the people that it was a closed decision, they did it without the public knowing because they knew it would cause A LOT OF PROBLEMS. What were his reasons to ban fishing? Why would he do this? Why would you do it knowing how many people depend on it for actual food?! Let alone all the people that do it for recreational sport. I don't understand. She mentioned something about hunting also, but didn't know if he had banned or was planning on making a law against it. She did say it will only be law while he is president and they believe he'll only be a one term pres. She even told me about a girl who said her family would depend on fishing for food because they were poorer... how could he do this?

The reason this really bothers me is because of a story Ash told me months ago. It starts out with your typical elderly, paranoid grandpa type. (I think she said he was older) He told Ash about how the government, Obama, would start tracking us and taking our rights away and changing the whole structure of our government and military. We have heard things like this before from elder men, not saying that there isn't truth but we always think they are just paranoid and don't like change. But is this maybe the first step to Obama's plan? From what I can remember Ash said the guy told her Obama did not agree with our military and would destructure it, picking his own personal men and women... I don't remember the details of the conversation. But, the other day I read that Obama had only increased the military's wage for next year by a lousy 1.4%. That's less than what welfare was raised by! And all our military does for us, he really repaid them nicely. Is maybe what the old man told Ash actually coming true? And at the same time, did we really know what we were getting into by electing him president? I know for a fact I didn't want to vote... I don't know enough about the candidates. I'm never educated enough nor really understand their views and opinions. Its really pointless for me to vote, my vote is literally probably hurting the polls. I honestly can say this because I never have faith in who I'm voting for nor do I understand why they would be good for our country... my vote is just padding for that particular candidate.

I know our country's changing and its not always bad nor is it good. And we can't stop change. But it bothers me that I don't even know what to think when stuff like this happens. More and more, I don't want to be apart of something like this but I'm trapped. Would I really dare to move out of this country forever and start all over? I don't know. But I will tell you I have pondered the thought of leaving and taking up in a hut on a tropical island and living simple. No high maintenance things, not a ton of materialistic items. Going to the market and buying fresh fruit, meat, vegetables. Making small amounts of money but being happy and meeting new exotic people. Learning about other cultures and taking things slow. That sounds like how life could be. Free of the chains I live with now, where all that matters is money and if you don't got money, you can't live.

♥ life...

March 5, 2010


"The most essential elements of success in life are a purpose, increasing industry, temperate habits, scrupulous regard for one's word ... courteous manners, a generous regard for the rights of others, and, above all, integrity which admits of no qualification or variation." William A. Clark

Pat and I watched 2012 yesterday morning. I liked it, it was intense! I don't know if it was because we had just woken up, but I was on the edge of my seat, wondering what was going to happen next. I also cried. Its not lame! I just thought about if something like that actually happened and all the people that died. And it upset me that they 'sold' the tickets instead of saving as much of our race as we could. How could we actually do something like that? And not tell the world we knew this was going to happen? I thought the arks were a good concept. Do you think they have something like that in the works now? I'm not sure. I hope at least they have started to think about something like that. Our planet is changing... and its probably not a bad idea to prepare for the future.

I need to win the lottery! I need to get my bills in order, I feel so overwhelmed though. They aren't that bad but I am struggling. And everything else on top of the bills, makes it even worse! I don't feel in control. I'm trying to work on them now but I feel like I'm avoiding them..... . . . . . . . . . . .

And I feel fat.

): Bye.