July 31, 2009

I ♥ roller coasters!

Sheetz continued the new tradition of taking any employee who has been with the company for three or more years, somewhere this summer. Yesterday we went to Kennywood. (In Pittsburgh, PA) It was awesome! They provide transportation, food, and the tickets. But we were allowed to bring family/friends(pay for themselves) and drive separately. I rode with Amanda and Wendy who wanted to stay later and drove separate. We had a blast! It was so much fun and I was surprised and excited that Wendy would go on the roller coasters! I just never thought she was like that. I love roller coasters, but I won't lie. Before I get on them, I'm freaking out inside and I get a little scared. Not enough that I'll turn around and get off but I get really anxious, excited, and nervous all at the same time. After the ride is over, I'm fine and I could go back on the same one a hundred times if I could! I definitely want to thank Sheetz for taking us there. Last year(the first year) we went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, which was cool but not much fun for some people. This year, they asked us for suggestions and I didn't think they would take us somewhere like an amusement park. (I suggested the zoo, because I really want to go) But they chose Kennywood which was PERFECT!

I really want to take Pat too. I don't know why but I really want him to go. I think he'll really like it and for some reason really want to share that experience with him. I don't know... its weird. I don't know what is going on between me and him, and I have no clue what I want from him. I'm so confused. There's days I hate him and wish I'd never met him, then there's days I want to make it work, but I don't see it being anything better than the worst. I DON'T KNOW. I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON IN MY HEAD. And he doesn't help at all! He just makes things even worse and does nothing to make me want to spend the rest of my life with him. This is probably the hardest thing I've ever gone through. And no ones advice helps me figure anything out. UGHHH.

I have to work a few afternoon shifts this week because of all the people who went on vacation this week. There was 8 people or so! And I got fucked. Royally. And its not like anyone thanks you or anything like that. People are so conceited and ignorant. I can't wait to get out of here. Anyone who tells me, "you'll have the same problems down there that you have here." doesn't know what they are talking about. If you leave this state and come back, just driving around here you can see how depressed it is! And people aren't mean and unhappy other places! Yea every once in a while you'll encounter someone like that, but its not all the time. And I'll be glad to leave this rotting place.

If you want to pursue your dreams, you have to get out of Youngstown, Ohio. Ohio is only good for coming back to later in life where you just want an easy, quiet existence.

♥ Jessica.

July 18, 2009

The Cleveland Show - Extended Trailer

The Cleveland Show - Cleveland Extended Trailer

I don't watch much tv but when I do, Family Guy is one show I'll watch. I'm excited for this one. I don't think the trailer showed the potential it has, so I'm hoping it's as good as Family Guy. ((Airs Sept 27; FOX 830pm))


July 9, 2009

I don't know what I want

I'm lost. I need help finding my way back.
I can't help myself, how can I help anyone.
I'm alone. I don't even know me.
Where am I going when I can't even see.

Nothing feels right. This skin doesn't fit.
Just drifting through the light.
Not hearing, feeling, or seeing.

If change is constant, why does it feel like nothing is changing.
Feels as worse as it did before.
Is the hope still worth fighting for
I don't know anymore...

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

July 4, 2009

I'm not afraid to die

Today wasn't a good day. It must be that time of the year... I've noticed every year for a while, there's these periods where I get really depressed. I can feel it starting again. I know it will pass, one way or another. But sometimes I get really afraid for myself. I don't know what God's plan is for me... But I see a few options. And I'm not sure he'll agree with one of them.

It's going to be a tough weekend. And nothing seems to go right. I just don't know anymore. I'm trying to cope but it seems to get harder and harder every year.

What should I do?

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

July 3, 2009

A deserted island fantasy

I wish I was trapped on a deserted island.

No human contact for however long! I would love this. People make me so mad and I think this would help me cope with it. I try to let it go and I can't. I try, I try different things, but I can't get my mind off how stupid, irritating, and disrespectful people are. It sucks when you go out of your way for people you THOUGHT were your friends!

Also here is my deserted island survey:
1) 5 movies you would bring (the only movies you'd have to watch for eternity over and over again)
*The Mummy*Aladdin*any Harry Potter movie*Twilight*The Office(any season)

Weird mix huh?

2) 3 books you would bring?
*The Quest*Ship of Fools*House

3) One electronic handheld?
My itouch and it's charger! Even if there is no Internet, I still have the games on it!!

4) 2 pictures?
*this one of me and Pat from Prom*and one of my dog, Harley

5) 1 CD
Marian Carey doesn't matter which one.

6) Which one would you bring? Favorite hoodie or favorite sweats?
Favorite hoodie, it's black and really cozy!

7) If you could only bring one huge case of canned fruit or canned beans, which would you bring?
Canned fruit

8) Handheld CD player with earphones or big radio/cd player with speakers?
Definitely radio/cd player so I can play my MC cd loud!

9) One phone call when you get to the island, who would you call?
My YiaYia

10) Would you want a fire already going or a little hut already built?
A hut, I could just figure out how to build a fire myself but I don't know if I could build a hut.

That was fun {:

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!

July 1, 2009

Not funny.

I wrote a blog about my sister and how great she is last night. When I published it, it said it was successful. So I pressed 'view post now' and it wasn't there!!! I was sooooo pissed. I'm still pissed!! Uggghhhh. I hate technology sometimes. It's more frustrating and a nuisance then a gift! Maybe I'll re-write the post later. I'm so mad.

-- Bloggin' via the iTouch!